Page 5 | DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

Pinkpetal9999 · 2025-09-02T06:19:55+00:00

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room. However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back. Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

JFDIYOLO · 04/09/2025 00:33

Poor kid, new baby and your son get to live with daddy, she doesn't. She must be feeling odd. Include her.

Show her repeatedly and often how to do it properly. That is how people have learned to care for babies since forever.

Don't leave her (or your son) alone with him. Supervise and teach. 12 year olds are not best known for impulse control and command of consequences.

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 00:29

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 00:02

I'm not going to respond to your incessant questioning, so don't engage with me again as you'll be ignored, you're most annoying with your repeatedly inane comment

Go away.

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Yeah, thought you'd catch yourself out and be unable to reply.
Think you owe OP an apology, though?
Bye...

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 00:02

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:56

You don't remember saying that yourself then?
It's there in black and white.

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I'm not going to respond to your incessant questioning, so don't engage with me again as you'll be ignored, you're most annoying with your repeatedly inane comment

Go away.

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:56

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 23:48

I take it you're talking about her step mum. Thought so.

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You don't remember saying that yourself then?
It's there in black and white.

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:54

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 23:46

I've said what it is, 'visiting', because it appears that's all she is to her father and step mum, a passing visitor.
I must say, you seem obsessed with asking what everyone else would say instead of visiting, calm down FFS.

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Ok. Let's say she wasn't just "a passing visitor" and her father and step mum thought the world of her, she thought of the place as home, she stayed over whenever she wanted, what word would you use then?

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 23:50

@Dancingintherain11 you seem to be skirting past the topic of my son?

OP posts:

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 23:48

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:33

I'll bet this 12 year old girl would feel very hurt and insulted by some random on the internet suggesting her father's home isn't to be seen as her home.

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I take it you're talking about her step mum. Thought so.

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 23:46

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:00

And your word for it?

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I've said what it is, 'visiting', because it appears that's all she is to her father and step mum, a passing visitor.
I must say, you seem obsessed with asking what everyone else would say instead of visiting, calm down FFS.

maybein2022 · 03/09/2025 23:41

Haven’t RTFT. My kids were 13 and nearly 10
when my 3rd was born. We showed them how to pick him up and put him down from day 1, and they did. 🤷‍♀️ We had some rules like not carrying him up or down stairs but otherwise they got on with it and it was all fine.

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:33

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 20:38

I imagine the word 'visiting' has been used because the 12 year old is literally visiting her own father, just like you would a friend, and her father's home isn't to be seen as 'her home' it seems.
It's as if she's just a guest who drops in every other week probably just for a few hours. Poor girl.

I'll bet this 12 year old girl would feel very hurt and insulted by some random on the internet suggesting her father's home isn't to be seen as her home.

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:01

I'm interested to see what others would call it but so far not had anything that fits really...

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 23:00

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 20:38

I imagine the word 'visiting' has been used because the 12 year old is literally visiting her own father, just like you would a friend, and her father's home isn't to be seen as 'her home' it seems.
It's as if she's just a guest who drops in every other week probably just for a few hours. Poor girl.

And your word for it?

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 22:59

Blessthismess2 · 03/09/2025 18:50

When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

Surely you can see that that’s not the same thing though? We are talking about a 12 year old and a step family.

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@Blessthismess

What would you have called it then?

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 22:57

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 20:38

I imagine the word 'visiting' has been used because the 12 year old is literally visiting her own father, just like you would a friend, and her father's home isn't to be seen as 'her home' it seems.
It's as if she's just a guest who drops in every other week probably just for a few hours. Poor girl.

Poor girl..........

🤣 🤣 🤣

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 20:51

@Dancingintherain11 boring

OP posts:

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 20:38

I imagine the word 'visiting' has been used because the 12 year old is literally visiting her own father, just like you would a friend, and her father's home isn't to be seen as 'her home' it seems.
It's as if she's just a guest who drops in every other week probably just for a few hours. Poor girl.

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 19:08

@Blessthismess2 I said I would use the same wording regarding my son going to his dads, and I’m near 100% they have used the same wording also.
Is my son any less loved or not part of their family… absolutely not. They are both loved and supported in both households, and we teach they are even more special because they get to have the love from two families.
We have been a blended family for a long time, you all need to bloody chill

OP posts:

Blessthismess2 · 03/09/2025 18:50

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 17:16

This wording malarkey is just ridiculous, my son goes to his dad’s house every other weekend and I don’t refer to it as his second home. I refer to it as him going to his dads or visiting his dad.

(1) - realistically who is going to say this in a conversation. It’s not how i talk

(2) - this makes more sense and I can adopt this in the future, but it’s basically the same thing. When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

Surely you can see that that’s not the same thing though? We are talking about a 12 year old and a step family.

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 18:12

previous post should say “visiting for the weekend”

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 03/09/2025 17:16

This wording malarkey is just ridiculous, my son goes to his dad’s house every other weekend and I don’t refer to it as his second home. I refer to it as him going to his dads or visiting his dad.

(1) - realistically who is going to say this in a conversation. It’s not how i talk

(2) - this makes more sense and I can adopt this in the future, but it’s basically the same thing. When i was university and my parents would say I’m back visiting for the weekend. It means the same thing really, people have just chosen to take serious offence to it. I didn’t hate my parents for not referring to it as “home for the weekend” I wouldn’t have even thought twice about it.

OP posts:

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 16:42

Too true. My 2nd son had the wobbliest head you've ever seen, for quite a while.
I use to worry that it would never strengthen but of course it did eventually 😊

Lighteningstrikes · 03/09/2025 16:34

YADNBU
You need to be VERY careful with his neck and head, at this stage.

I wouldn’t let her do it without your supervision at the very least, if at all tbh. It’s far too risky and there could be dire consequences.

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 16:19

nomas · 03/09/2025 15:59

so she's at her second home.

or she is home for the weekend.

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So OP's first post should have said:

My DSD (12) was at her second home

My DSD (12) is home for the weekend

No.1. doesn't sound right.

No.2. is not only similar to "visiting"
but is the same as OP's third post where she said "staying with us"

So what exactly is the problem?

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 16:01

Dancingintherain11 · 03/09/2025 14:51

She's not too exhausted and confused to post on here regarding her 'horror' that her dsd had picked the baby, which is a complete over reaction.

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You've never heard of a post natal mum over reacting?
Never heard of hormones? Wow!!

Incidentally, what's your word for dsd paying a visit, but doesn't live there?

nomas · 03/09/2025 15:59

Petitchat · 03/09/2025 15:56

What's your word for a little girl spending some time at her dad's then?
She doesn't live there so she's ?

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so she's at her second home.

or she is home for the weekend.