DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

As usual. Comments minimising nasty pile ons as ‘disagreeing’. Whatever eases your conscious, I guess.

Maybe – just maybe – OP expected polite, rational and balanced conversation from a parenting support forum.

And not 300 pedantic, bored nitpickers obsessing over the word ‘visit’. And not another couple of hundred spiteful bullies, calling her ‘dramatic’ when she’s 4 weeks post partum.

Quite frankly, well done to @Petitchat for standing up to this despicable forum for once. More posters ought to when they see an OP being treated this badly.

Yes I agree.

Wonder why that is though? It's weird....

a vendetta to make her look like the worst mother since sliced bread.

I think tone down the hyperbole.

No one is in a blood feud with OP and seeking vengeance on her.

People are allowed to disagree with her.

Every week, or every other week, it’s still his dad’s home, he’s not visiting.

You wouldn’t like it if his step-mum thought of your son as a visitor.

Men always deny they are men when they're being keyboard warriors stirring up trouble.
Seen it all before.......

It's been a lot more than posters thinking she's being unreasonable.

Have you RTFT?
For some it's been a vendetta to make her look like the worst mother since sliced bread.
For some weird reason?
I actually think some of them are men with massive chips on their shoulders.

And it hasn't been OP "just coming at anyone who disagrees"
She's been defending herself against the most ridiculous posts I've ever seen and a few of us have been supporting her.

I couldn't agree more, along with two or three side kicks.

Yes you'd do well to remember the house is also the child's, a child should feel like anywhere any of their parent's live is also their home, and not that they are merely visiting, (oh and I've already said more than once what my interpretation of what that word means in this context, so no need to keep banging on about it)

You said the word visiting, and people have pulled you up on it so you've now felt the need to back track and argue with everyone who 'dared' to bring that point to your attention.
You also had a massive over reaction to your dsd picking the baby up, I could understand if she was dragging him out the basket by his arm, but you haven't said that she held him that way.

You haven't even said that she wasn't holding him properly, you were just in 'horror' that she'd picked him up, and thought it was a 'step too far:.
It wouldn't surprise me if you now come back at me with something like 'she wasn't supporting his neck and his head when she lifted him up', but if that was the case I'm sure you'd have already made sure you wrote that before

You've said that the baby was screaming, but gave differing times to when he actually did scream, maybe your dsd did inadvertently wake him, but that doesn't mean she wasn't being careful with how she handled him.

As for the incessantly irritating poster who now assumes posters who don't suck up to you are men, she's completely wrong when it comes to me, I'm a woman and a mother and I think you've acted totally over the top.

Op, you asked for our opinion on this,82% think you're being unreasonable but you're just coming at anyone who disagrees with you.

The menz are confusing themselves..

Who on earth says my child is visiting

I did.
When I got divorced and remarried, my teenage son stayed with his dad to continue his exams at the same school.

When he came to ours, we said he was visiting. And that was my own son, who knew he could "visit" and stay over as much as he wanted.

Omg, I said the word VISIT!
I must have really hated my own son!

You're the one who isn't calm though. You are taking everything very personally.

You are so determined to paint OP as the wicked step-mother and her step-daughter as barely tolerated and treated like an unwanted guest that you are just making up imaginary scenarios. You're being really weird about the whole thing.

Great post. At last, someone with sense and empathy 😊

Who on earth says my child is visiting his dad when he goes there every week?

Doesn’t ring true, sorry.

I get it now.

The posters who are endlessly nit picking at the OP and showing no understanding of her being a new mother, are likely to be men.

Men can't understand how a new mother would feel, although they recognise she is vulnerable.
Some men take it out on women when they're unhappy themseves.
Some men can't deal with confrontation or questions so they cut women off.
Men who like to dominate a vulnerable woman, regurgitate the same old shit over and over.
Some men don't care that in acting gratuitously for their own satisfaction, they are putting down a young girl.

Which is what's happening here.

She has told both children that they can hold the baby but not pick him up from his moses basket. OP's son hasn't tried to pick him up but her DSD has.

If she had told her DSD that she was not allowed to pick the baby up by herself but had told her son that he was allowed, that would be different treatment.

If she had told both children not to pick the baby up, but her son did pick him up and OP was fine with it but cross when her DSD did the same thing, that would also be different treatment.

You are determined to show OP in the worst possible light as a step-mother that discriminates against her step-daughter but allows her son to do things that she has forbidden her step-daughter from doing but that isn't what has happened here.

Why are you asking the same question over and over again? That’s already been answered.

I'm not skirting past anything, the post is about your 'horror' at finding your step daughter holding the baby is it not?
Besides, you've said that your son hasn't attempted to pick the baby up, so it's irrelevant.