Page 3 | DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

Pinkpetal9999 · 2025-09-02T06:19:55+00:00

My DSD (12) was visiting, our newborn is 4 weeks old and still has a delicate neck. I am happy with DSD holding her brother as long as one of us has put him in a position that keeps his neck supported. She will hold him from time to time if we are in another room. However to my horror the other day I saw her taking him out of his Moses basket and putting him back. Am I being unreasonable in that I feel that’s a step too far?

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 10:39

Blessthismess2 · 04/09/2025 09:38

There seems to be a growing trend of declaring any poster who has a perspective you don’t like / agree with to be “a man”, and then referring to them by means of the demeaning collective “menz”.

It’s very very weird and creepy.

Edited

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I agree, it's also very childish and I'm surprised that a poster whose apparently old enough to have grown up children would make such immature and chavvy comments like that.

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 10:02

Didimum · 04/09/2025 09:41

Bullying definition: when people intentionally use words or actions against someone to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing.

Disagreeing response: ‘Hi OP, I can understand the anxiety you may feel over a 4 week newborn. They do seem very delicate at that age. However, I think it’s important your DSD is taught correctly how to hold them, and it’s important for her to feel part of the family, since having a new sibling can be a difficult time for a blended family.’

Bullying response (and there are many): ‘Why are you being so dramatic? 🙄 Your newborns head is not going to fall off FFS. Why don’t describe your DSD as just visiting? It’s her HOME. Your language is very telling. Obviously you resent your DSD and want to exclude her from the family. Poor girl.’

If you can’t see the difference here and that it’s playing out exactly like this on this thread, then I honestly think that’s bizarre.

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Dear cohort 🤣
Such a good, clear cut post

And yes you're right, It is bizarre.

Didimum · 04/09/2025 09:41

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 08:43

People are not bullying her, people are disagreeing with her and questioning why the step daughter pays 'visits' to her own father's home at the age of 12. The underlying tone makes people like me automatically assume that the dsd doesn't spend much time with her own father and his new family, if she's classed as just visiting.

The OP also chose to post in AIBU, which means you will get posters disagreeing with you, and the poll suggests that the OP is massively unreasonable.

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Bullying definition: when people intentionally use words or actions against someone to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing.

Disagreeing response: ‘Hi OP, I can understand the anxiety you may feel over a 4 week newborn. They do seem very delicate at that age. However, I think it’s important your DSD is taught correctly how to hold them, and it’s important for her to feel part of the family, since having a new sibling can be a difficult time for a blended family.’

Bullying response (and there are many): ‘Why are you being so dramatic? 🙄 Your newborns head is not going to fall off FFS. Why don’t describe your DSD as just visiting? It’s her HOME. Your language is very telling. Obviously you resent your DSD and want to exclude her from the family. Poor girl.’

If you can’t see the difference here and that it’s playing out exactly like this on this thread, then I honestly think that’s bizarre.

Blessthismess2 · 04/09/2025 09:38

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 07:52

The menz are confusing themselves..

There seems to be a growing trend of declaring any poster who has a perspective you don’t like / agree with to be “a man”, and then referring to them by means of the demeaning collective “menz”.

It’s very very weird and creepy.

Didimum · 04/09/2025 09:32

nomas · 04/09/2025 08:42

I have never said or even implied you’re evil or excluding your DSD.

Nor is anyone in a ‘vendetta’ against you, which implies a very personal vengeance.

I don’t know why you and your cohort feel the need to use these hyperbolic terms.

82% of people think you’re being unreasonable, that should give you pause to consider if you are treating DSD well. If you think you are, then you have nothing to worry about.

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What do you think of the numerous other posters, across over 20 pages, using hyperbolic terms against the OP? Have you read them?

Rosscameasdoody · 04/09/2025 09:29

thepariscrimefiles · 04/09/2025 09:24

You are being rather hypocritical considering your own conduct on this thread. You have definitely been relentless in responding negatively to pretty much every one of OP's posts and you posted the below to one of the few posters to post in support of the OP:

'I'm not going to respond to your incessant questioning, so don't engage with me again as you'll be ignored, you're most annoying with your repeatedly inane comment
Go away.'

I wouldn't necessarily describe your posts as bullying but you have shown no understanding or compassion for a newly post-partum mum and you have gone out of your way to paint her unfairly as a cold and uncaring step-mother.

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This. Pot, kettle and black come to mind. The double standards on MN are breathtaking at times.

thepariscrimefiles · 04/09/2025 09:24

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 09:10

Defending someone by bullying other posters you mean? Yes, very honourable of them isn't it.
Mind you, you yourself has questioned a posters 'selective comprehension' because they disagreed with you, but hey, it's everyone else who is in the wrong.

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You are being rather hypocritical considering your own conduct on this thread. You have definitely been relentless in responding negatively to pretty much every one of OP's posts and you posted the below to one of the few posters to post in support of the OP:

'I'm not going to respond to your incessant questioning, so don't engage with me again as you'll be ignored, you're most annoying with your repeatedly inane comment
Go away.'

I wouldn't necessarily describe your posts as bullying but you have shown no understanding or compassion for a newly post-partum mum and you have gone out of your way to paint her unfairly as a cold and uncaring step-mother.

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 09:24

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 09:05

@Petitchat @Didimum
I also want to say thank you for the understanding and standing up for your views on this too.
It is interesting how posters don’t have an issues with the pile on, gang up culture on MN.
However you helping to defend someone on a post is absolutely criminal.
Double standards strike again…

You're welcome OP.

My kids are grown up now but they still come to "visit" 🤣

Well done with your thread and answering the combatants so calmly.

Best wishes to yourself and family. Have lots of snuggles with new baby

Rosscameasdoody · 04/09/2025 09:18

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 08:48

If anyone is creating a pile on , it's yourself and petitchat.
HTH

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people are disagreeing with her and questioning why the step daughter pays 'visits' to her own father's home at the age of 12. The underlying tone makes people like me automatically assume that the dsd doesn't spend much time with her own father and his new family, if she's classed as just visiting.

You are actually perpetuating the pile on with what you’ve posted here. There is no underlying tone. OP used the word ‘visiting’ to denote that her DSD doesn’t live with them full time - which is relevant to what she’s posted. She’s not around the baby full time and that has a bearing on the discussion. And that’s all.

But once again the language police have picked up on a minute detail and derailed the thread with it, as so often happens on MN. OP has clarified several times what she meant, but people aren’t listening because they’ve already made their judgment.

Personally I think anyone who makes a leap like this based on one word used in context needs to understand that it says much more about them than it does the OP. Had she not disclosed a stepdaughter the responses would have been more on topic instead of some of the practically hysterical ‘you hate your DSD’ toned replies here. It’s pathetic.

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 09:16

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 09:11

I don't believe that they are men, men don't have the hiss like women.

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Maybe I'm wrong then...
But whoever they are, it's weird and incomprehensible....

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 09:15

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 09:10

Defending someone by bullying other posters you mean? Yes, very honourable of them isn't it.
Mind you, you yourself has questioned a posters 'selective comprehension' because they disagreed with you, but hey, it's everyone else who is in the wrong.

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Yes, isn't that how we combat bullying, by bullying the bully, the circle of life.

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 09:14

@Dancingintherain11 defending someone who’s being attacked, and lets me honest you’ve done a lot of attacking, isn’t something I’d class as bullying.
But Christ if you see yourself a victim in this, I’m extremely worried.
I actually cannot respond to you any further this is beyond ridiculous, I’ve given a summary of my responses previously if you care to take a read, and a read of my responses you will see I haven’t attacked anyone for not agreeing with me.
I have stood up for myself when people changed the narrative and derailed the post.

I have maternity leave and a newborn for my excuse to have enough time on this discussion, the question is… what’s yours?

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 09:11

@EmeraldShamrock000 yep I agree

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 09:11

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 08:28

Men always deny they are men when they're being keyboard warriors stirring up trouble.
Seen it all before.......

I don't believe that they are men, men don't have the hiss like women.

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 09:10

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 09:05

@Petitchat @Didimum
I also want to say thank you for the understanding and standing up for your views on this too.
It is interesting how posters don’t have an issues with the pile on, gang up culture on MN.
However you helping to defend someone on a post is absolutely criminal.
Double standards strike again…

Defending someone by bullying other posters you mean? Yes, very honourable of them isn't it.
Mind you, you yourself has questioned a posters 'selective comprehension' because they disagreed with you, but hey, it's everyone else who is in the wrong.

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 09:05

@Petitchat @Didimum
I also want to say thank you for the understanding and standing up for your views on this too.
It is interesting how posters don’t have an issues with the pile on, gang up culture on MN.
However you helping to defend someone on a post is absolutely criminal.
Double standards strike again…

OP posts:

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 09:02

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 08:43

People are not bullying her, people are disagreeing with her and questioning why the step daughter pays 'visits' to her own father's home at the age of 12. The underlying tone makes people like me automatically assume that the dsd doesn't spend much time with her own father and his new family, if she's classed as just visiting.

The OP also chose to post in AIBU, which means you will get posters disagreeing with you, and the poll suggests that the OP is massively unreasonable.

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"underlying tone" 🤣

You really do have the most strangest imagination...

Oops, sorry. I'm not supposed to be posting to you am I, after you couldn't cope with being confronted?

Okay then, bye again

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 08:51

DSD lives 200 miles away, due to move mother made (no hate towards her) but let’s be realistic. I’m seriously not seeing any issue with the visiting still, so I’m going to now not respond to anything other than those who actually give their views on the matter in hand. Picking up and putting down.

I haven’t said I’m not being unreasonable, however I think all parents are entitled to make their own decision. And even after hearing we are “unreasonable” I feel no different. We are allowed to as AIBU and make a decision based on the feedback. Just because it is what you wanted to hear, we are entitled to do as we please

OP posts:

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 08:48

Didimum · 04/09/2025 08:35

As usual. Comments minimising nasty pile ons as ‘disagreeing’. Whatever eases your conscious, I guess.

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If anyone is creating a pile on , it's yourself and petitchat.
HTH

Petitchat · 04/09/2025 08:45

nomas · 04/09/2025 08:28

Every week, or every other week, it’s still his dad’s home, he’s not visiting.

You wouldn’t like it if his step-mum thought of your son as a visitor.

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Here we go again. People just won't let it go with the "visiting" thing.

Of course DSD is visiting. What else would it be?
OP'S already said that when her DS goes to his stepmum's, they call it visiting.

What's wrong with people on this thread.
It's so weird...

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 08:44

@nomas here we go yet again, can you understand that this post has NOTHING to do with how my DSD daughter is treated. And very simply a question of should I or should I not be bothered about a 12 year old picking up our new born baby without asking

OP posts:

Dancingintherain11 · 04/09/2025 08:43

Didimum · 04/09/2025 08:32

Maybe – just maybe – OP expected polite, rational and balanced conversation from a parenting support forum.

And not 300 pedantic, bored nitpickers obsessing over the word ‘visit’. And not another couple of hundred spiteful bullies, calling her ‘dramatic’ when she’s 4 weeks post partum.

Quite frankly, well done to @Petitchat for standing up to this despicable forum for once. More posters ought to when they see an OP being treated this badly.

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People are not bullying her, people are disagreeing with her and questioning why the step daughter pays 'visits' to her own father's home at the age of 12. The underlying tone makes people like me automatically assume that the dsd doesn't spend much time with her own father and his new family, if she's classed as just visiting.

The OP also chose to post in AIBU, which means you will get posters disagreeing with you, and the poll suggests that the OP is massively unreasonable.

nomas · 04/09/2025 08:42

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 08:38

@nomas its interesting that you can comprehend that my tone and wording is evil and exclusive of my DSD.

But you cannot comprehend the tone and posts that have been added my PP are not bulling, rude or completely twisting a narrative it is not.

Along with selective reading, you seem to also have selective comprehension.

I have never said or even implied you’re evil or excluding your DSD.

Nor is anyone in a ‘vendetta’ against you, which implies a very personal vengeance.

I don’t know why you and your cohort feel the need to use these hyperbolic terms.

82% of people think you’re being unreasonable, that should give you pause to consider if you are treating DSD well. If you think you are, then you have nothing to worry about.

Original poster

Pinkpetal9999 · 04/09/2025 08:38

@nomas its interesting that you can comprehend that my tone and wording is evil and exclusive of my DSD.

But you cannot comprehend the tone and posts that have been added my PP are not bulling, rude or completely twisting a narrative it is not.

Along with selective reading, you seem to also have selective comprehension.

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock000 · 04/09/2025 08:37

@Pinkpetal9999 Congratulations 🎊
Well done for having the strength to debate on here, 4 weeks postpartum.
I would have been crying on my cornflakes.
Once again, yanbu.
As pre-teens we borrowed babies to bring on walks, I thank my lucky stars when I think back that I didn't drop them, idiots allowing 12 year olds wheel their baby off.
We always lifted them when out of sight.
One friend did drop one, baby was fine.