DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

As a young child my mother and I went to see a neighbours baby. I was much younger than your step daughter, I fully understood that I was too young to support the babies neck reliably however my mother did show me how it was done. I feel that at twelve if shown and assuming the twelve year old has no developmental issues it would be okay to show how to pickup and put down, once shown and practiced the worry of this could be avoided.

Show her how to pick the baby up and put him down safely. Then trust her to do it.

Honestly it's an absolute non issue. And as for him crying, babies do that. As you're no doubt finding out.

Oh good grief, poor DSD. Show her how to pick up and hold the baby properly and love that she's trying.

We got kittens when my kids were about 8.

one day we came in from the garden to find that they had made a kitten “rollercoaster” and were pushing the kittens down a very steep slide.

we did a whole talk about how kittens have to be held very nicely and if they don’t like what you are doing then they will scratch you and bite you.

children will pick up kittens or a baby unless told not to. Even if told not to they’ll probably still do it (children generally liking to try things themselves and mostly not obeying adult instructions).

you need to sit both kids down, explain about the neck, show them how to do it safely and then tell them to get an adult.

Why was the baby screaming? Did she actually hurt him?
My eldest was 10 when her sister was born and after showing her once how to pick her the baby up she was fine. In the time it took you to write this post you could have had a quick chat, they’re no need to be embarrassed

This poster has form for this on other threads.

First time she held the baby you and her dad should have discussed how to pick up the baby safely and explained why it was important.

When you saw her put the baby down it was a perfect time to explain to her how to do it safely. COMMUNICATE for gods sake. Shes 12, not 2. If she doesn't like to be told what to do or is sensitive then it's tough really isn't it. You and her Dad show her how to do it safely, involve her in nappy changes etc, give her some responsibility whilst your in the same room.

Probably one of the worst threads l’ve seen on MN. Vicious from the beginning stemming from the OP using the phrase ‘visiting’ when clearly everyone here knew exactly what she meant but the urge to pick up on a minute detail and turn it into something it’s not was just too much wasn’t it ?

OP l would ask for the thread to be taken down. Your words have been deliberately misinterpreted and no amount of updating will change that because posters will jump on and not bother to read the updates before posting that you are indeed a wicked stepmother. I really do think MN is sometimes just a means for some to hide behind a keyboard to say things they wouldn’t dream of saying to someone’s face.

Certainly your posts read as if your DSD needs some more love and attention from you and less suspicion. Gently show her how to manage the baby (personally I would ignore the MW re feeds- and I’m a GP- attachment to family is important!!). And reflect on your wording in your posts which as many have said does appear to betray a particular attitude to your parenting. Consider looking at therapeutic parenting resources to help navigate the relationship with your SD. Dan Hughes is a good place to start. Congratulations on the new addition.

Oh FFS - there are ways of communicating that wouldn't embarrass her!

Please learn what woke means if you want to throw it about like an insult.

Come on think sensibly you are talking to parents who have gone through it themselves.

Blended family bliss.

What a horrible post and destructive attitude towards the young DSS.

All @Pinkpetal9999 and her partner need to do is have a chat to the DSS about how to pick the baby up carefully, while supporting his neck. She is 12, not 2.

I think if she had said her bio son was visiting, the responses would be similar.

But I’m guessing by the fact she tagged you when you weren’t on the post, she was aiming for a situation where she could claim this would turn into “wicked stepmother” post. Funny she hasn’t said why she hasn’t taught her step daughter how to pick up a baby. Mine was 6 when she first held a baby and we explained it to her.

What utter rubbish.

There are some woke midwifes out there today. That has never been said to me. More pressure on being the perfect mother.

Confidently, and gently, just explain that DB and DS are not to pick up their baby sibling without asking first.
You, the mother, need to decide whether the baby is trying to sleep, is resting after a feed or is ready for some sibling affection.
Also instruct them both how and why to safely pick up their brother and how to support his head. You should be there in the same room as they pick him up until they display the correct and careful technique.

Jesus Christ. Poor girl.

Ooooooh consequences ????
Consequences will be that she doesn’t want to visit her father’s home and all the drama that comes with that 🙄

Confusion about who feeds the baby?! 🤣

Fair enough- I’m sure you are not an “evil step mum” and I’m sure you mean to do your very best by your SDC and have good intentions . But it is a tricky relationship, and this is a situation where you have clearly overreacted to something innocent and minor. You also describe your SDC as “sensitive”. This might be a helpful opportunity to reflect on the broader context of the relationship, which sounds like the more pertinent issue here than a 12 year old picking up a baby.. Just my 2 cents.

Your response was a tad dramatic though 🤣

PROTECT YOUR BABY AGAINST THE EVIL STEPSISTER!!!!

Just no!! All OP needs to do is ask DSD not to pick baby up without you there, to be safe. Say that she is very welcome to have a cuddle and you can bring baby over and teach her what to do. Why does it even matter that the stepdaughter isn’t her biological daughter?