DSD picking newborn up and putting him back in Moses basket

I'm not incensed.

I have noticed the OP's defenders writing childish replies, using immature hyperbole (like "victim of that terrible violation"), and using laughing emojis as a form of punctuation.

Yes, I agree with this advice.

@RimTimTagiDim No, I can't read. My mistake - I assumed it was your posting history that had been invaded, since you were so incensed on the behalf of the victim of that terrible violation. Yet somehow, everyone who is in support of the OP is worthy of your criticism and unpleasant comments about their intelligence and maturity. It's a bit hypocritical of you.

Just demonstrate to her how it's done.

It's your job to guide your step-children and help them to become fully functioning adults. If you don't teach her how to hold a baby how will she know how to hold her own?

nicely, this is such bullshit. I had a baby a year ago, also integrating him into a blended family with two preteen step kids and was tightly wound during the first few months but was never told this load of garbage, thank god. Your baby won’t be confused, they know who their parents and caregivers are. Just relax, let their siblings bond and show them how to care for the baby properly.

OP, I think the problem with this thread is that you put DSD in the title.
That attracted the stepmother haters.

Next time just put DD 😁

My point still stands, about showing her how to do these things, she is the sister, a 12 year old girl is extremely likely to want to pick up their newborn baby sibling, I remember being 11 and desperate to constantly pick up and hold my cousins newborn baby. So again teach her, explain and make it as safe as possible not ban outright. That's how I would go about it and how I did go about it, my DD is now 3.5 and rough and tumbles more than her older brothers did.

Can nobody on this thread read? The OP did nothing to me.

Crikey, returning to this thread after commenting initially this morning.
So, in a nutshell, it’s a non-issue (not trying to minimise OPs concerns here) in that all that has to be done was either reinforce the message to the kids that they can hold but not pick up or put down the baby, or, teach them the correct way to do it. Job done.

I think you need to relax. My DS was born when my DDs were 11 and 13. I had no issues with them picking him up but we showed them how to from day one.
Only allowing your children and step child to hold them under supervision is OTT.
Just show them how to do it safely.

It's a well-known feature of this site we are all using through choice. When you post, you willingly make yourself public and subject to this happening. You are judging the OP based on the information she has made available about herself. She has done the same to you.

I’d say we all need to get a life. Or get back to the lives we have instead of distracting ourselves with this (as I am doing as a means of procrastination) Op herself chose to write to this forum instead of turning to friends and family but this is where we all are. And unfortunately these platforms leave us vulnerable to nitpicking (guilty as charged) and misunderstanding. The trick is to try to ignore comments that seem hurtful/stupid. Easier said than done.

@Pinkpetal9999 I'm just sorry you're in receipt of this onslaught. Perhaps you have post-natal anxiety, perhaps you don't - but if you do it's completely out of your control and certainly nothing people should be berating you for.

I personally totally see your point. The fact that the person concerned is your step-daughter rather than your biological child is completely irrelevant with regard to the actual bulk and point of the post. Why people cannot see that, I do not know. 🤷🏼‍♂️

No one can say whether you are being unreasonable or not, as no one knows your kids like you do. People tend to imagine themselves in your situation by applying the memories of their own children and what would have been acceptable for them. For instance you say baby, so I tend to imagine most babies look like mine. But mine was a really big baby that looked at least 3 months old when compared to the absolutely TINY babies other women on the ward had. So if your baby is the size (and temperment) mine was, and their sibling was the sensible 12 year old I was at that age, I wouldn't have an issue with the sibling picking the baby up, provided they had been shown how to do so safely.

I'm surprised the conversation about how to hold a baby safely hasn't come up yet. If the older children are allowed to hold the baby, haven't you already advised them that the baby's head and neck need to be supported and shown them how to do that? If not, just tell them now. There's no need for it to be embarrassing for the 12 year old. Just say something like, now that you've both been holding the baby for a while with our help, and the baby's getting older, if you'd like to pick the baby up, ask me or dad first and then do it like this (demonstrate).

Of course, if you feel the older children holding the baby is still too much of a risk at this point, just tell them.

The OP is the one trawling through other people's posting history.

What for?
I thought the discussion was about lifting baby in and out?

Do you find that difficult, for some reason?

Crikey! I was babysitting for other people's babies and children at 13 (for the princely sum of 20p per hour!). A 12-year-old should be able to learn how to handle a baby correctly.

I literally wasn't. I think the whole thing is ridiculous. SD is 12 not 2 and the baby is 4 weeks. Picking up is fine.

But you're in way too deep. You don't need her life history.

It's interesting how childish and unintelligent the OP's defenders are.

Honestly get a life

The step mother haters are out in force today I see 😏

Gosh, you're all so horrible!!

It is easy to say that when your son isn’t interested in picking up the baby, which makes it irrelevant. The rule only applies to your DSD who is interested