You're on AIBU, which has always been renowned for being like this - it's why its so popular, people love the drama Micky. And yes, there are posters who clearly enjoy stirring the pot, or sticking the boot in as often as they can just to see what happens. If everyone ignored them they'd get bored and go away...

I find the lack of respect for other people having different perspectives really strange. On AIBU, for example, the topic invites different points of view. But very often, we see the OP getting hugely defensive about their stance when replies disagreeing with their mindset are posted - so why open up the question? Wasn't the entire point of the post to gather different viewpoints and develop a new perspective?

That said, sometimes (well, often), posters are so sure they are correct in what they think, real-life conventions and caveats such as 'in my own experience' or 'in my personal opinion' aren't even acknowledged. Posts referring to people's partners as 'c*nts' for example, when the situation isn't especially clear-cut, feel really misplaced. I wonder how the OP manages at the end of the day when the family members are sitting at home together, after reading everything that has been posted.

And of course, there are sadly, some horrendously awful cases of DV and abuse that are posted. Even here, I'm not sure derogatory terms are helpful because I think it risks the unintended impact of making the OP feel sorry for the perpetrator and renege on any plans to leave them.

MN seems to be an amplified microcosm of the real world - and a lot of it isn't very nice at all.

There are some posters who are right arseholes. Best ignored. There is also some good advice if you ignore the ones trying to be the biggest cunt.

😂

I agree, however, some OPs clearly need some harsh truths and a verbal kick up the arse for their own sanity and safety.

Oh that made me laugh; thank you. 😽

(Of COURSE I’m going to seek it out with extreme urgency!)

If you don’t like it then maybe you should just
FOTTFEOFTFOSMADPGOTWOYFFF
😡😡😡😡

Seriously though, there are some posters who use MN to jump on anyone and generally be bitchy, sometimes in a performative way, as though the more furious they come across, the more righteous they must be.

Don't go there!

Excellent. Then keep up the good work. Maybe work on avoiding the personal attacks though. Calling people 'bully', telling them you're surprised they have any friends, and being confrontational and aggressive when people don't share your views is probably a bit counterproductive to the nice supportive atmosphere you'd prefer.

Some people are batshit in a way that I’ve never experienced in real life. You see the same, argumentative so and so’s who would disagree with a brick wall! Start a thread about Botox and let the fun unfold 🤣

I think the really nasty responses come from very sad specimens of humanity who probably have little real social contact and use anonymous online platforms to vent their spleen against the world, so don't take it personally!

Are they jealous, too?

I agree, OP. I think some people don't know the difference between honest, no-frills advice and being downright nasty. And you'll get lots of people on this very thread making excuses for that kind of attitude.

OPs ask a question, and instead of useful, practical answers, some pps tell them that they 'sound snobbish, awful, judgemental etc etc', but don't actually address the point they're posting about. Or pps make crazy assumptions, reading between the lines. If they're not going to take what the OP says as true, It's pointless to bother responding.

Also - the people who live on another planet where you really CAN just say 'NO!' to a friend or boss's demand. Yes, you can decline, but in the real world outside the MN bubble, No is hardly ever a complete sentence.

I think the really nasty responses come from very sad specimens of humanity who probably have little real social contact and use anonymous online platforms to vent their spleen against the world, so don't take it personally!

The same could be said of you though - if you don't like a forum then leave it.

No problem - please stay 😀

I wouldn't worry OP, it seems like you can hold your own 😂

SOUP MAKERS? 😳

Oh xpost 🤪

Do we still recommend Netmums?
Does it still exist ?!

I think sometimes people's recollections of forums are of them being lovely matey places but I was reading a 20 year old digital spy thread about a utterly trivia tv show last night and there was still someone on there being a dick. So in a way it's it's really not that different now.

of course if some do find MN too robust then there's always the other place with just a different formation of letters!

Sounds like the forums you owned failed, OP. Maybe take some lessons from this one, that you have chosen to join, and yet have immediately started criticising?

MN is full of feisty women, and non-feisty women, who love to discuss and chat. Some areas are gentler than others. As a personal recommendation, do not ask about breeding puppies in the Dog forum, or about soup makers anywhere.

That's the spirit ! 👍

AIBU is traditionally a bit of a bear pit. It's the best bit of mumsnet in my opinion 🤣 but i have been here since it was all fields ...

There are specific boards on mumsnet for specific more sensitive problems. The posters there are kind and the info. and support unfailing. (i know - i've been on both sides of it in the past) But here it's ask your question and put on your tin hat !

Welcome OP 😊