Children’s spaces

As all the toilets in a women’s facility are within individual enclosed cubicles what is the issue with a man taking a girl into the building and then waiting outside the cubicle for her to come out. Same with a female taking a young boy into the same women’s facility?

In our local leisure center (USA) we have men’s, women’s and family changing rooms.

The family room is a long room with a set of individual shower cubicles with locking door.

I used them all the time when DD was small because it was a more private space than using the women’s changing rooms. It was always semi full of a variety of mums dads and children of both sexes. Felt totally safe as a gender neutral space.

If money and space were no object in an ideal world then yes, having a family option alongside the current ones would be a good facility to have.

In an ideal world I would prefer for anywhere that provides the use of public toilets to have to a unisex family facility with cubicles.

Absurd suggestion.

I was at Legoland recently and really noticed how much busier the women’s toilets were as women were often on days out on their own with the kids - hence took their children, regardless of sex, into the toilet with them. These were largely little kids so no concerns with regards to safety or privacy but from a planning perspective it meant the queues for women’s facilities were so much longer than the men’s.

At family-oriented attractions, unisex family facilities would be welcomed I think (as an addition, not a replacement to single sex spaces).

If the men’s aren’t safe for boys and the men’s aren’t right for dads with daughters, then it seems to me to be a problem for men to sort out.

Are they? Are they lobbying councils for better facilities or security in the men’s toilet?

I see loads of boys with their mums that look older than 8 in the ladies when out and about. No one bats an eye (including me) as I assume mum has made the right call for whatever reason and they are obviously still a child with their mum. Presumably as a teenager they would rather die than be seen going to the ladies with mum so the problem solves itself at that point. Girls should go in the gents with dad until old enough to use ladies on own which I think most dads would be happy with at 8.

I sometimes take my DGC out (ages 5 and 8) and I can see this becoming an issue at some point. No problem with DGD 8 as she can of course come in with me. No problem currently with DGS as he is only 5. When we are out and about though, say at the park for instance, I constantly have eyes on them both ( not both at the same time all the time obviously but it is a bit like glancing in your rear view mirror frequently whilst driving). I can't imagine that when he is his sister's age I will have to let him out of my sight to go in the men's loos alone when I don't even let her out of my sight in the playground.

I've not read the full thread but I do agree in certain situations there are issues surrounding where children go with or without their parent of the opposite sex. My son is disabled mentally and I would need to use the family changing in the future at the swimming pool for example (he's only 5 at present).

Unfortunately, the last time I used the family changing room there was a young couple in there getting handsy with eachother in the public showers. Whilst my son wouldn't understand what was happening I certainly did and I was pretty shocked by the behaviour! No one should be exposed to that. I didn't say anything to them but did to the receptionist.

From what I've seen on these sorts of threads before, someone will bring up "my 10 year old daughter would be highly uncomfortable using a toilet knowing a 10 year old boy in the same class as her was stood outside the door".

I don't think this is uncommon in venues which have been recently designed and expect (or want to attract) a lot of families. E.g. there is a brilliant parents' room in Westfield in Stratford. Child-friendly museums often have it too. Venues are often constrained by the building and space they already have, but if you were designing, say, a new supermarket or shopping centre, it wouldn't be too difficult to incorporate.

as trans people are not always comfortable in gender assigned spaces.
too bad

but it's women who are not comfortable in front of men, not the other way round!

Male, female, family/ disabled

its not difficult to organise

I would never have left an 8 year old alone in man changing room or toilets. From 10, if it's a cafe or somewhere I can be at the door, fine.
When it's airports, or supermarkets, where they are really far down from the entrance, I kept my boys in the ladies with me.

If a woman has vapours because a little boy sees her entering a cubicle or washing her hands, too bad.

Most gym and shower facilities I have seen have family facilities, or are mix

a unisex toilet for those unhappy with single sex facilities
and a unisex family toilet for everyone with kids out of nappies

1 unisex toilet then?

You say boys out with their mothers shouldn’t have to use the male toilets, nor the disabled.

Op didn’t say that.

this 100%

There’s toilets for females, toilets for males and disabled toilets. (Allowing for more space/less queing needed) There is some argument for a gender neutral space as trans people are not always comfortable in gender assigned spaces. I can’t see how child friendly loos would work. They either go in with a parent if they are too young to go in alone or when they are old enough go on independently to the correct toilet.

So we need to provide:
a single sex women’s toilet, with a sanitary facility
a men’s toilet, with a urinal and a cubicle
a disabled/accessible toilet with double the room, emergency buttons and adult changing facility
a baby change facility with a loo for the adult
a unisex toilet for those unhappy with single sex facilities
and a unisex family toilet for everyone with kids out of nappies

As someone who actually provides toilets for the public to use there is pretty much no way there is the room or budget for this in anything but the very largest and most purpose built of facilities. The billion pound shopping centre, sure. But how often do we actually go there? The rest of the time we’ll be muddling along in the small to medium sized regular loos most places are just trying their best to provide and fund the upkeep for often in a VERY squeezed sector.

If girls aren’t safe in the men’s and boys aren’t in the women’s then why would unisex be safer because surely the perpetrators that you have in mind will just be there instead?

There is a disconnect between the age where children are ok in the opposite sex facilities with a carer and the age where they can always use the facilities alone, so yes Family facilities would help bridge that gap.

At 8 we went swimming on our own. Using the correct changing room at this age was never an issue.
Before that my dad took me into the males until about 4 (didn't grow up traumatized) then I went in the females. My dad shouting in occasionally. If I was crazy long he would ask a woman coming out to check on me.

Yes, it's perfectly fine. DS goes in. I stand outside. DS comes out.

I wouldn't and don't send my tiny 8 year old son into the men's toilet alone. He's not a threat to anyone.

What do you think will happen if a girl (under 8) walks past a urinal? I went with my Dad into the gents a few times when I was younger and have no memories of men waving their penises about!

If some men are the problem how will unisex facilities make everyone else safer?

My local leisure centre has unisex only swim changing (cubicles with gaps below and above). I’d much prefer to have a single sex option.