Children’s spaces

Crossing the road is a risk but we don’t ban that. The risk is really low.

The best design I've seen was a large "open" space - no walls hiding the mirrors, sinks and dryers.

The cubicles were all floor to ceiling doors, in a U shape around the sink area down the middle.

Took up no more space than a usual set of loos, probably less because there was no wasted circulation space with pointless walls (washing your hands etc doesn't need to be private).

This was in a secondary school to prevent bullying - you were either in a cubicle or not. And because it was open to the common area, no hanging around. But it's really common around Europe.

Here in Australia most places just have a family room with a changing area, breastfeeding space behind curtains, a toilet often with a child’s loo and adults in one large cubicle. They’re unisex.
Swimming pools also have large family changing rooms with cubicles big enough for about 3 people to comfortably change.

Yes. I think dd using the gents with her dad is fine. It's a quick walk past the urinals to the cubicles with parental supervision.

Unisex toilets have been shown to be less safe for women and girls. As in, it’s unlikely for a woman or girl to be attacked in a public facility, but when it does happen it’s much more likely to happen in a mixed sex space.

Honestly, if the choice is between a 10 year old girl changing her period protection behind a locked door knowing another child is the other side of the locked door, or an 8 year old being sexually assaulted in the men’s, I know which I think is worse.

Are you fucking kidding me? Should a mother out alone with her 8 year old son, send him into a mens' toilet on his own?!

Has anyone actually seen any signs that say 9/10yo boys can't go in womens toilets with their (female) caregiver?

I cant remember ever seeing any actual regulations about it unlike changing rooms where its up to the management what age they set.

Why 8?

Perhaps the 10 year old girl should shut the cubicle door!

It is not just about the grown women, what about the 10yo girl starting her period? Don’t you think she is entitled from privacy from the 8yo boy she might know from school?

I know of at least one shopping centre that has mens, womens, disabled, baby change and family toilets - each is in a separate room with an adult toilet, child toilet and sink. Ideal for those with little ones that may be toilet trained, but still in a pushchair, or for slightly older children, especially if a girl is with their dad or a boy is with their mum. I know there wouldn't always be space for this, but i am sure there are others around.

In large new builds the answer would be male toilets, female toilets and several ‘accessible’ toilets that can be used by anyone that needs the space. Our local cinema actually does this quite well, there are two sets of normal toilets (each with a double door entry so not ideal for a pram) but at least 3 self-contained accessible rooms. It’s a small and underutilised cinema so the chances of there being 3 disabled people all needing the accessible loo simultaneously is slim. They do baby friendly screenings so when I took DS I’d use one of the accessible where I could push his pram in with me. Our local newly built trampoline park has ALL large self contained rooms with both changing stations and grab rails, about 12 of them. It’s ideal.

I’m with you OP 100%
I particularly like the set ups a lot of shopping centres have where you have ‘family’ bathrooms. Means you can change a baby, do a wee yourself while looking after young children (especially if you have multiples). They’re spacious, one ‘family’ at a time so gender doesn't come in to it. It’s a much better experience as 1. you don’t have to squeeze two people in to a cubicle and 2. all of your OP. I would not be comfortable with my DD going in to the men’s with my DP and actually neither is he, he will always ask me to take her to the women’s.

My ds was fine going to the mens loos, he wanted to from about the age of 7 I waited outside for him
.

I do agree that big family bathrooms are very useful.

personally though, I’d be less worried about leaving a toddler strapped in to a pushchair in the ladies the other side of a door from me while I wee, than sending a 7 year old boy in to a men’s toilet where I can’t see or hear what’s going on.

I do not understand why grown women are scared of 8 year old boys in toilets, I really don’t.

Genuine question. Why can’t everyone use the disabled toilet? I mean we all have to wait anyway, including pregnant women or a woman with a period emergency. Does being disabled mean that you shouldn’t have to wait a couple of mins to use the toilet? I mean if there are 20 women and girls lining up to use the toilet and the disabled one is empty, why can’t they use it too? Is it exclusively for someone who is disabled? Or is it a toilet that is available and accessible for a disabled person? Hope that made sense?

I have had similar thoughts OP.

When we take our DCs swimming, I tend to take my DD then swap car at home with DH, who takes our DS.

However, I like us to both have a turn with both children. I also don’t like the idea of my DD in the men’s changing room, or my son once he is over 8 being alone changing in the men’s, which I can’t go in. Our pool for lessons has no family changing cubicles with lockable doors like bigger pools.

I’m often with both DCs alone, and it also made me think of single parents navigating all of this.

"What there does need to be though, is a large enough cubicle for a pushchair in the regular toilets"

Absolutely this. And a toilet in baby changing rooms/breastfeeding rooms so you can change your child and actually have a wee yourself if you need one.

There's a community space near us which ds and I use a lot which has a unisex family toilet which I personally feel is a good set up. There's equipment for the kids to use in all the cubicles and by the sink (potties/ seat inserts and steps, plus a few changing stations etc. Then they've got a separate accessible bathrooms if anyone doesn't want to use the family bathroom with the same equipment in it or has mobility issues. They're both always clean and well maintained.

DS7 goes into the mens and I wait outside for him if it's just us out. What there does need to be though, is a large enough cubicle for a pushchair in the regular toilets. I found it incredibly frustrating having to use the disabled loos for myself because I wasn't about to leave infant DD outside the cubicles whenever we went out without DP. To this end, family toilets would be helpful. The type where you have all the facilities in with you so there's no shared space with other randos

I certainly would not think an 8 yo is safe alone in a men's toilet. I'm not saying using the women's is the solution but let's not pretend that the alternative is fine for a second.

We were recently in Liverpool and I commented to my DH when we got home how nice it was that so many places had unisex toilets so I didn't have to wait outside while the kids (6 and 9) went to the toilet by themselves. It felt a lot safer. But then I have never really understood why more places don't have unisex bathrooms - what are people doing outside the cubicles that they wouldn't want people of the opposite sex to see but that strangers of the same sex are ok to see?! Genuine question as I really don't get it 😂 But then I'm Scandinavian so maybe the whole unisex thing is just in my blood