SIL still isolating due to covid risk

I got it the second time after a mild infection. There was nothing wrong with me at all when l got it.

Its just insidious and creeps into all the vulnurable areas.

Really hard. I feel so awful for my dad. He loved going abroad but he'll never get her on a plane again. They're only 70.

Firstly, did she ever get COVID?

Secondly the most you can do is be straight and tell her it's a problem. That it's not normal behaviour and the impact it will have on her life and others. Obviously be tactful and come from a place of support and concern.
After that if she doesn't want to change, there's nothing you can do.

That's a bit depressing considering how often DH and I have had it, and likely will again.

I am convinced that in 10-30 years time we are going to see increased heart and lung disease as a result of Covid. And I worry about those of us who have had it more often. But, I still can't stop living my life, and neitehr can DH.

No, it’s not something that only occurs after someone’s first covid infection.

Also, are new cases of long covid a thing? I thought by now most of us have probably had it at least once, is it something you can develop after your second or third infection?

Certainly, because DH works in an environment where Covid spreads like wildfire, we have sadly both had it a few times. And there's no doubt that either becuase we've had it so many times or perhaps becuase we're a bit vulberable, when we get it, we tend to take a few weeksk to recover fully. But nonetheless, touch wood, even with all thse infections we've had and the frustration of the longer recover, we haven't got long covid and I just assumed it was becuase if you're likely to get long covid, you get it from the start?

Poor woman.

Sounds like it morphed into an Agoraphobia situation, not much you can do if she doesn’t think it’s a problem.

Does she also have all the up to date Covid vaccines?
Stay away from crowded indoor spaces?
Wear a mask when in crowds?
Wash her hands when coming inside from a public adventures?
Suggest relatives with a cold take a Covid test before coming to visit?

If she is doing all those things and also keeping to herself in fear it is a bit sad.
Realistically she might enjoy life more if she takes some precautions and then relaxes.

Unfortunately some medical professionals scared the crap out of people who already had health anxiety. She definitely needs to speak to someone about it.

My mum's still petrified of catching it because her consultant told her she would die due to her immunosuppressive medication. Not could, would. He no longer works for the trust but the damage is done. She still won't sit inside at a restaurant, go to the supermarket or go to a retail park unless it's 7pm and dead. She's not even taking the drug any more!

I think she probably knows she has a problem as she will know almost everyone else is living their life normally now. I think the only thing that will help is therapy or CBT from a professional, but she needs to want to address it. It does sound a sad way to live if she doesn’t have any medical problems. She will be missing out on holidays, birthday parties and other family occasions

I think all you can do is support your brother. He's really the only one whose intervention here is likely to have any impact. I think you need to keep talking to him.

That’s no way to live.

Yes it’s true that she MAY contact Covid abx get long Covid, but it’s also true she may get run over going to the shops, or have a car accident, or get cancer

No l agree.

l do go out, but just avoid crowds and my family test every other day.

l was just saying that l would be trying to avoid long covid too

I know someone with LC, who is really seriously ill (and now unlikely to recover). Sometimes it gives me chills what might happen. But then, ANYTHING might happen, I might get hit by a bus tomorrow. I might eat something and get food poisoning which leaves me seriously compromised. I might trip over the dog, fall down stairs and die...

We can't mitigate for our entire lives. We can't live as though the worst is definitely going to happen. Sometimes we have to shut off the 'what if' part of our brain and just live and it sounds as though your SIL can't do that. Has she always been 'worst case scenario?'

If she really won't engage with anyone about her mental health, then there's nothing you can do. She will continue in her little world living in fear. It's hard, but you can't help someone who doesn't think they need help.

Sounds like her mental health has been damaged.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow · I’m sorry you’ve been through that. But the reality is that there are an awful lot of conditions which are terrifying and life limiting in various ways. If you isolated for everyone no-one would live their lives any more.

I am newly immune suppressed, (transplant earlier this year) and I don’t drive. One of the reasons I had a transplant was to enable me to live a more normal life. So if I go on public transport I wear a mask, I’m still avoiding some things e.g. the underground for now due to crowds etc, but the truth is part of recovery is living. It’s very early days for me still but I’m recovering well, and while it’s wise to be cautious at this time of year regardless actually isolating for years is no way to live.

Oh sorry you just answered no DC.

It’s absolutely a mental health problem, and isolating oneself in this way is likely to be connected to other worse heath outcomes, poorer immune system etc. Ultimately no one can force her to see it that way, but it’s not kind for your DB to play along as if it’s a healthy way to interact with life. Does she have children? It’s a concerning message to send to them if so.