SIL still isolating due to covid risk

It sounds like she has built up serious anxiety around it which is now effecting her life. She really needs to speak to a GP about it and start with some CBT therapy etc. But only your DB is in a position to help gently nudge her etc.

I'm 4 years into long covid and yes it completely sucks and has been a long journey to resemble any type of "normal". I would say a lot of the long covid boards can be very hyper focused. For me the reality is its a long term health condition I need to manage but even someone with the condition I can be unpopular on the boards if I state this!

Reality is they don't fully know what triggers it so it can effect anyone but her reaction needs addressing with medical assistance.

For me it's the marriage that is the real issue here.

We do all have to factor in how our choices affect those closest to us.

Yes but has this lady said she "hates people." My understanding is that she was a "social butterfly" so clearly doesn't.

There are of course cases where MH is involved - and there always were people who had social aversion. There is nothing on the face of op's post to suggest that is what is at play.

But I don't think it's helpful to lump people in buckets and pathologise choices.

I find some of it quite bullying because I think much of the noise is in fact to do with people grappling with anxiety about their own choices.

She's not sick and she can do what she likes but her DH doesn't need to be dragged down with her.

Marriage is 'in sickness and in health' not 'in paranoia and in health'

So sad but apart from supporting your db (I assume he at least lives his life relatively normally? Presumably quite a lot of the time without her) I don’t think there is anything you can do

I know 1 person who has had a genuine struggle with long covid and my dh’s taste and smell is only improving now after 4 years.
but the vast majority of us of course just got got it (several times) got better and got on with our lives.

I do think Covid lockdowns also exposed to some people that they were masking when out and about.

The stay at home order took that (skill?) ability away from some and has made it harder for them to manage again.

We’ve seen it with students who “coped” with school who no longer could cope or felt there was a need to cope when covid showed them there was a different way.

Thats why it’s been so hard for many when people dismiss the idea the pandemic would have further reaching consequences than than pandemic itself.

Perhaps it compounded already underlying MH problems.

But she does need help - but she won’t accept it if it isn’t a problem for her because she maybe happy with her life and we can’t really dictate how someone lives it if they aren’t causing others a danger.

until it happens to you, it’s easy to dismiss it.

💯

I take long COVID very seriously - some of my friends still have long term issues. I don't think the post viral syndrome from flu is so common in the same age bucket.

However, her way is really unnecessary limiting, it is possible to take it seriously and enjoy life.

It is a pity you are asking in September, because starting opening up in June would be much easier.
We've just enjoyed the summer - eating outside and meeting friends in cafés' with outside seating. We visited summer cinema projections, we went for several openair concerts and festivals (not the kind when you stand in a dense crowd, the kind when you can place your own blanket and have a bit of space around you).

We like outdoor stuff in general, a walk in a nice area is great.

We visit museums and exhibitions (art, tech, ...) full year round - if the exhibition is open for months and everyone is buying tickets on the day, not many people would chose to go there sick. And if someone is, you don't have to stay in the same room with them.

We have FFP2 at hand when using public transport - especially in a high COVID season.

We pick holidays with an option of eating outside.

Not everyone has this options, but something from the list might work for them.
The goal isn't for them to forget about COVID no, the goal is for them to find a better balance.

And, I 'm not saying it is 100% infallible way, but it shifts the risks in a way we are comfortable with. And, we actually enjoy all those activities, so it works for us.

did she have any vaccinations-your brother must beworried deep down it sounds like agrophobia now

what happens when he goes out and comes home does she avoid him

Unless she is high risk then I think she needs to live life more, she could also get hit by a bus, but what a lonely existence

I had Covid last October and was only mildly ill. I had been very active and healthy up til then. I unfortunately then had a number of symptoms which were brought on by the virus and have now had Long Covid for 11 months. It has given me heart problems and inflammation in my chest which meant that my life changed virtually overnight. I went from super healthy to feeling like an invalid.

Fortunately due to my amazing GP and local hospital I have had all the treatment and support I could have asked for. But, yet again this week I have to wear another 24 hour heart monitor but I’m hoping that things will be slowly improving.

I think that anyone can get these symptoms after a virus such as Covid and until it happens to you, it’s easy to dismiss it.

I still live my life and go out and about. If I took a flight I would wear a mask. I’m really afraid about what could happen if I got a similar virus again.

I'm sorry to hear this.

I can well imagine how hard it is to grapple with these issues in a world where people are now often wanting to shame caution.

I feel certain that, deep down, the frustration shown by many of these people is in fact an attempt to reassure some small part tucked away at the back of their mind where they worry themselves, but try to drown it by loud ridicule of those who do accept the need for caution in their own circumstances.

I just think we should be accepting of each other's choices. We all have different health profiles, different ideas of what we want and enjoy, different concepts of risk and there is no need to bang the drum of our own choices so loudly just to make us feel better that we have done the right thing, Perhaps there is no "right" approach.

A vaccine that will not have any effect now because of how long it’s been since her last one….

I think he should tell her either she sees a counsellor or they get divorced.

My mum is scared of Covid but she is elderly so we humour her.

And you’re deliberately missing the fact that you DO NOT NEED TO BE IMMUNO SUPPRESSED TO GET LC.
(sorry fur shouting).

And no it’s not just over 50s that are affected either.
children and teenagers are getting LC
Babies who caught Covid (or the mum during pg) are more likely to show developmental delays

And the risk goes up the more you’re catching Covid.

EDIT TO ADD
Please add to the list the fact that

• athletes develop LC
• departments such as the ministry of defence or the Parliament have air filtration and UV system in place to reduce the spread. Not just in tge U.K. either.

@Calliopespa

I guess it depends on your version of "worth." Some people think the highlights of life are going out to restaurants, pubs, movies etc. Others love being home reading or gardening, cooking etc. I know quite a few people who rediscovered their love of being a homebody through the lockdown and who are we to deem that "tragic"?

It's not about a distinction between going out and staying in. Of course there's nothing wrong with being a homebody and there's nothing wrong with a quiet life with a lot of introspection and thought. A lot of people have made this into an "introvert v extrovert" thing, but I think its much more fundamental than this.

Enjoying time at home and needing it to recharge your batteries is not the same thing as barricading the door to outsiders, indulging your paranoia about "people" and convincing yourself that you need never interact with anyone outside your family.

I've seen thousands of posts on here from people talking about how much they "hate people" and their relief at being able to withdraw from them (for which COVID provided perfect air cover).

Extreme social anxiety and hating coming into contact with strangers so much you feign illness to avoid it is not a healthy way to live. I think that is pretty "tragic", to be honest, and I mean this in the true sense of the word, not the arch, ironic sense. Human beings aren't meant to live without any contact with others. There's tons of research into why this fuels mental illness and shortens life.

Apologies if this has already been asked, but is she up to date with her Covid vaccinations, including recent boosters?

What a shame, do you think she would accept help?

Does she make your DB also live like this? Or is he able to meet friends / go on holiday / to the pub etc?

I don't see the point in it all if your DB is out and about living his life and likely exposing himself to the virus, that's the most likely way she'll contract it.

Not that she has any right to force your DB to live the way she does for an extended period either.

You realise that athletes with no immune issues get long Covid right?

As others have said who have got LC, it’s no walk in the park.
She is right to be worried and take precautions.

And yes, I developed symotoms after Covid too.
i can’t work.
I can’t even stand or sit for long periods wo feeling unwell.
I can tell you that I always wear a mask. Have some air filters on when people come or have done ‘riskier’ activities - like dh travelling by plane wo a mask and giving me Covid again - twice. Each time worsening my baseline. So yes now we have air filters running.

It’s very sad she is living her life like this. My best friend has long covid but she is still living her life and has gone on holiday recently. She clearly needs mental health help, but sadly not much you can do if she won’t get any. Maybe a chat with your DB might help, even if to say you’d support if he wanted to try and ask her to seek help.

The reason we aren’t all suffering very badly from covid is that as a population we have built up a certain amount of immunity from exposure AND BEING VACCINATED - back when we were in lockdown, there was no vaccine, and initially no clear picture of how it affected different populations.

It is facile to say that some consortium of powers-that-be tried to scare us into compliance. It isn’t appropriate to have the same level of caution now (for most of us) because ffs a huge percentage of us still have some residual immunity from repeated vaccination or exposure and that is doing its job just about well enough.

Can the SIL pay for a top up vaccination? Obviously it won’t cure her of agoraphobia but baby steps.