Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet

161 replies

michaelsnores · 01/09/2025 08:55

The man I've been seeing for the past few months has started staying at my house more often lately. My house isn't big, and the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, so you can hear the tap running. He was over this weekend, and I noticed a few times that he didn't wash his hands after using the toilet. I brought it up to him, thinking he just didn't realise, but he insisted he didn't need to and that it's different for men. I told him, "You're still touching the toilet seat etc," and even showed him a screenshot from Google.

He was pretty firm about not needing to wash his hands, so I just said, "Please do it while you're at my house since you're touching me and my stuff afterwards," and he agreed to that. I know he won’t be doing it whilst he’s at home or out and about though.

I’m not sure if it’s dump worthy, but it is a little grim, yes? He genuinely doesn’t think he needs to.

OP posts:
pinenuts75 · 01/09/2025 09:02

🤮 dealbreaker for me too, I dated someone once who insisted he only had to wash his hands after a number 2!

Chemenger · 01/09/2025 09:00

Most men don’t. I worked in the engineering department at a university. We had a ratio of at least 10 men to women in the staff, a bit better for students. The cleaner once told me he topped up the soap in the women’s toilet at least twice as often as the men’s.

Userengage · 01/09/2025 09:00

Washing your hands after the loo is such a basic that I would wonder what else he didn’t do.
Not for me.

TheAmusedQuail · 01/09/2025 09:00

If they're unclean when you're dating, they only get worse later. My ex for example. Disgusting

Sharealike · 01/09/2025 08:59

And yes it’s gross.

I used to tell my ex and he denied it but the sink was always bone dry.

Hedgehogsahoy · 01/09/2025 08:58

Deal breaker. 🤮

Sharealike · 01/09/2025 08:58

I think most men don’t wash their hands after using the toilet.

Crazybigtoe · 01/09/2025 08:58

Dump

Fizzfamm · 01/09/2025 08:57

Yanbu. I couldn't date a guy who didn't wash his hands after using the loo. Urgh!!!!

Pricelessadvice · 01/09/2025 08:57

I’d be dumping him.

SchnizelVonKrumm · 01/09/2025 08:57

🤮