The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet

@Chemenger but engineering is a mucky job.... surely???

Deal breaker that early on.

I read somewhere that analysis of those bowls of nuts you used to see on top of bars showed about twenty different sources of urine. I thought it was an urban myth but maybe not.

Disgusting.
I'd be horrified.
Doors closed in this house.

Honestly thats a deal breaker for me utterly repellant

Yep, my daughter's school said the same: they had to change the soap in the girls loos often, in the boys? Rarely.

This would be a dealbreaker for me.

Fair point.

Doe a he flush the toilet? Does he not understand that people flush the toilet after doing a poo so there will be germs on the flush? How is that 'different for a man'?

He did not even wipe his arse?

Poor hygiene is a dealbreaker for me.

What does he mean it’s different for men? What does he think women do?? He touches his penis but we just touch toilet paper!

I think it’s not uncommon for men to not wash their hands especially in a non-domestic toilet. However that doesn’t mean it’s ok and I wouldn’t like his reply (excusing it and also seeming to not know how women go to the toilet 🧐). Would you be happy for him to cook you a meal with his dirty fingers? Sounds like he wouldn’t care much about cross contamination

I’d argue that a lot of men don’t in a home environment unless they’ve done a 💩. Grim, but there you have it

My first thought was, his immune system must be world-class.

Deal breaker for me as well!

I always feel like a freak when I sanitise my hands after shaking hands with people but threads like this are my justification! Who wants to touch a hand that just touched a stranger’s penis? Disgusting.

I think most do

About 20 years ago, I lived in the UK and a survey was done and published in the newspapers.

A lot of male doctors (gp’s that is), after putting their hands on a patient for whatever reason, needed the presence of a female nurse in the room to wash their hands. Otherwise, they didn’t unless they had actually got a bit mucky.

I wasn't taught to wash my hands after using the toilet. When I was about five I was hospitalised with a bad case of dysentery. When I was discharged our next door neighbour expressed her surprise because she assumed I was a "nice" girl who always washed her hands. I felt totally ashamed.
Since then I've always been meticulous about washing my hands, and all the other aspects of hygiene my "nice" parents neglected to teach me about.

There must be so many people not taught about hygiene and good practice when they are growing up. But OP I think the worrying thing is that when you have spoken to him about the necessity to wash his hands he doesnt even as a adult understand why it's important.

I wouldn't want him to touch me knowing his poor hygiene and I wouldn't want to visit his home, eat a meal with him, or touch anything he'd touched. So the relationship would be over.

That is a bit grim. Even if it's a quick swill with cold water for 10 seconds, that's something at least. I would be dumping him sorry @michaelsnores

My first instinct is to thinl gross bit considering what goes where when people have sex and dont wash inside and out of theit entire body, and having a shower beforehand is not going to clean everything, not sure what is the difference

Omg @MaggieBsBoat WTAF?!!!!

You should have dumped him there and then. Jesus what a disgusting creature.

The shortly to be former boyfriend I hope.

My only contribution to this is that men are gross. My DH tells me that it's basically about 90% of men when he's in public bathrooms who pee, shake off wipe on their trousers 😱then walk out. It's grim. He's really a big stickler for cleanliness (thank god!!!!) and will eyeball them as he is carefully washing his hands at the sink. The worst though are men who he witnesses coming out of a cubicle leaving a v bad smell (so obvious it was a no.2) and also walk out the bathroom without washing their hands. Boak. COVID times opened his eyes to how bad it was as you could see some men using hand sanitiser but reluctantly. It's all reverted back to them not doing it 90% of the time though. I absolutely hammer it into both my wee boys about washing hands. And cleaning the seat!!!

Why are men so disgusting? Why do they think we want their penis-stinking hands touching everything?

I’m so fed up with men and their filthy habits and general level of entitlement. What is going wrong in the raising of these creatures for them to turn out like this??

Urgh, sorry I couldn't get past that.

My Dh and DS are both meticulous about washing hands after using the toilet, as PPs say you can tell when it is and isn't done.

I'd be imagining him not washing his hands before doing food prep too, then... no. He'd be gone sorry.

I was once in the bath and my ex came in sat in the toilet (didn’t ask, just waltzed in), did a poo, pulled pants up and walked out.

I didn’t have sex within again. We split up a few months later. Gross.