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Original poster

The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet

161 replies

michaelsnores · 01/09/2025 08:55

The man I've been seeing for the past few months has started staying at my house more often lately. My house isn't big, and the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, so you can hear the tap running. He was over this weekend, and I noticed a few times that he didn't wash his hands after using the toilet. I brought it up to him, thinking he just didn't realise, but he insisted he didn't need to and that it's different for men. I told him, "You're still touching the toilet seat etc," and even showed him a screenshot from Google.

He was pretty firm about not needing to wash his hands, so I just said, "Please do it while you're at my house since you're touching me and my stuff afterwards," and he agreed to that. I know he won’t be doing it whilst he’s at home or out and about though.

I’m not sure if it’s dump worthy, but it is a little grim, yes? He genuinely doesn’t think he needs to.

OP posts:
buffyfaithfredwesley · 06/09/2025 21:02

This has reminded me of a really nice plumber that came to do my boiler service! Not a disgusting story Grin
He came out the toilet and went to ask something and then stopped himself. A bit later he came to find me and practically bright red said “where’s that hand soap stuff from? It smells really nice and my wife would love it, can you text me the name of it?”
just made me laugh that he was so hesitant to ask

smithsgj · 06/09/2025 21:02

JHound · 01/09/2025 09:50

He did not even wipe his arse?

Show quote history

He should at least have put on his trousers and pulled the chain

mumofoneAloneandwell · 06/09/2025 20:56

Mjin · 06/09/2025 20:46

This is false. I am a man and it’s about 70% of men who wash their hands after peeing , and 95% after pooing.
I used to be a cleaner in a sports venue, the womens changing room was worse than the mens; you would not believe the stuff women put down toilets.
look at the facts not fiction.

🤔

Sure Jan GIF
mumofoneAloneandwell · 06/09/2025 20:55

Ltb xx

The man I’m dating doesn’t wash his hands after using the toilet
JCS1000 · 06/09/2025 20:52

Man or woman it makes me feel 🤢 when people don’t wash their hands. It’s a no from me.

Mjin · 06/09/2025 20:46

This is false. I am a man and it’s about 70% of men who wash their hands after peeing , and 95% after pooing.
I used to be a cleaner in a sports venue, the womens changing room was worse than the mens; you would not believe the stuff women put down toilets.
look at the facts not fiction.

2thumbs · 06/09/2025 19:36

I wonder what proportion of the posters on the thread have partners/husbands that also don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom, albeit unknowingly? It’s probably much greater than we’d expect/fear!

DBD1975 · 06/09/2025 19:11

He would be long gone, unless he was really good in bed, in which case I might give him a couple more dates!

chocolatemademefat · 02/09/2025 11:58

As a child I wasn’t taught to wash my hands after using the toilet because drying them would mess up my mother’s meticulously placed towels. Her house had to look just so but looking back it must have been heaving with germs.

At the end of her life she was in a nursing home and wouldn’t wash her hands after the toilet - this from the woman who insisted on clean clothes and showers every day.

I drummed it into my two sons to wash their hands after using the toilet. The one good thing about the Covid pandemic for me was the antibacterial hand wash which I still use in abundance. I sometimes wonder if I have a hand washing hang-up now.

CalzoneOnLegs · 02/09/2025 11:47

@MaggieBsBoat uuuuuuuugh, that’s hideous 🤮 this thread seems to have stirred up some long (and best) forgotten memories for you

MaggieBsBoat · 02/09/2025 09:40

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 01/09/2025 14:17

Deal breaker for me.

I was seeing someone and developed thrush a couple of days after sex. I just put it down to one of those things, bought some Canesten and told him to keep an eye on his bits.

It cleared up, we had sex again and the thrush came back. More Canesten and I asked him if he was sure he was ok and he was adamant he was fine.

When it cleared up, we had sex again and yep you guessed it, I got thrush. I said it must be coming from him but he was certain it wasn't as men don't get thrush. I told him they do. I showed him online and I even bought him a treatment from the chemist to try but he refused to use it as men can't get thrush.

We ended up having an argument as I said I wasn't having sex with him until he took the treatment and he refused to take it as men can't get thrush and said I was overreacting.

Dumped him and felt so sorry for the next unfortunate women he stuck his manky thrush riddled penis in.

Omg I’ve just remembered something about my dirty temple garment man! I ended up at the GUM clinic because I constantly had thrush. He said exactly the same thing to me. Is this the same guy????

Tink3rbell30 · 01/09/2025 23:05

That's how nasty stomach bacterial infections like H.pylori are spread.. get rid. What a massive ick.

B1anche · 01/09/2025 22:46

SuPollardsPolkaDotFrock · 01/09/2025 18:22

To many men just having a wee is different. If they wash themselves every day and are clean then what germs and diseases do you actually think they are going to catch from themselves and give to other people? And if your loo seat is that filthy then that’s a you problem.

WTF? Is this for real?

Diydanny · 01/09/2025 22:27

NellieJean · 01/09/2025 09:54

I read somewhere that analysis of those bowls of nuts you used to see on top of bars showed about twenty different sources of urine. I thought it was an urban myth but maybe not.

A friend told me a similar tale about restaurant/cafe menus. I never handle a menu without remembering that now. So out comes the hand sanitizer or a visit to the loo to wash hands. Urghh,!!!

Checkard · 01/09/2025 22:15

Well1mBack · 01/09/2025 09:06

My only contribution to this is that men are gross. My DH tells me that it's basically about 90% of men when he's in public bathrooms who pee, shake off wipe on their trousers 😱then walk out. It's grim. He's really a big stickler for cleanliness (thank god!!!!) and will eyeball them as he is carefully washing his hands at the sink. The worst though are men who he witnesses coming out of a cubicle leaving a v bad smell (so obvious it was a no.2) and also walk out the bathroom without washing their hands. Boak. COVID times opened his eyes to how bad it was as you could see some men using hand sanitiser but reluctantly. It's all reverted back to them not doing it 90% of the time though. I absolutely hammer it into both my wee boys about washing hands. And cleaning the seat!!!

Ditto.
My husband once said he total judged colleagues who didn't wash their hands.
Its disgusting, but sadly lots of men are.

Crudd99 · 01/09/2025 21:46

MaggieBsBoat · 01/09/2025 09:04

I was once in the bath and my ex came in sat in the toilet (didn’t ask, just waltzed in), did a poo, pulled pants up and walked out.

I didn’t have sex within again. We split up a few months later. Gross.

Reminds me of a Father Ted episode.

WalmartWitney · 01/09/2025 19:13

Grim. Show him the door....but don't let him touch the handle 😂

toddlermom1 · 01/09/2025 18:55

Eww i’d definitely be getting rid!

Jumpingthruhoops · 01/09/2025 18:47

Sorry this would be an absolute dealbreaker. That really is gross - and even worse that he tried to dismiss it after you brought it up.

Nope not for me.

SingtotheCat · 01/09/2025 18:32

He will give you cystitis with his filthy habits!

taxguru · 01/09/2025 18:28

I'd probably be dumping him if he doesn't change and improve his personal hygiene. It's gross. At the very least, there'd be no way he'd be touching me until I'd seen him wash his hands, which he'd probably not take kindly to! I'd also regard his response as a warning sign as even though you've mentioned it, he doesn't seem to have taken it on board seriously as a genuine concern, which is a red flag.

Slightly similarly, a previous boyfriend had bad breath and I told him that he'd have to brush his teeth more often if he wanted to kiss me - he only needed telling once - never had the same problem with him again - they learn quickly when you make it clear they're not getting what they want if they don't!

AncientBallerina · 01/09/2025 18:26

Not all men are gross 😁. My DH is really clean and god do i appreciate it. I realize it’s one of the reasons I stayed with him having had a grubby boyfriend before him.

SuPollardsPolkaDotFrock · 01/09/2025 18:22

To many men just having a wee is different. If they wash themselves every day and are clean then what germs and diseases do you actually think they are going to catch from themselves and give to other people? And if your loo seat is that filthy then that’s a you problem.

SuPollardsPolkaDotFrock · 01/09/2025 18:22

Sharealike · 01/09/2025 08:58

I think most men don’t wash their hands after using the toilet.

And I think you’re making sweeping generalisations.

Gingernessy · 01/09/2025 18:20

michaelsnores · 01/09/2025 08:55

The man I've been seeing for the past few months has started staying at my house more often lately. My house isn't big, and the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, so you can hear the tap running. He was over this weekend, and I noticed a few times that he didn't wash his hands after using the toilet. I brought it up to him, thinking he just didn't realise, but he insisted he didn't need to and that it's different for men. I told him, "You're still touching the toilet seat etc," and even showed him a screenshot from Google.

He was pretty firm about not needing to wash his hands, so I just said, "Please do it while you're at my house since you're touching me and my stuff afterwards," and he agreed to that. I know he won’t be doing it whilst he’s at home or out and about though.

I’m not sure if it’s dump worthy, but it is a little grim, yes? He genuinely doesn’t think he needs to.

Grim yes - but have you researched how many germs are on your taps, towels etc. There's a reason we have sensor taps and hand dryers in public loo's