Mum is flying abroad before my due date

I gave birth to DD1, without DH being there. I was in hospital, to be induced at 8 am the next day. I went into labour in the night. The midwives rang DH repeatedly, but he slept through it. DS, aged 6, got up at 6 am and answered the phone. He woke DH up, but he was too late for the birth!

A midwife held my hand and gave me encouragement. TBH, in the second stage of labour, I didn’t care who it was - anybody would have done!

She’s not heading off on holiday ffs, of course she needs to go visit her grandmother on her death bed and support her mum. That’s number 1 priority unfortunately.

It may not be a problem and she’ll be back in plenty of time too.

YABU!

And how will your son refuse to stay with for example your sister ? Book himself into a hotel ? Or just scream until her realises that won’t help ?

Why can’t your younger sister start to look after your 3 year old? I presume she is in nursery or goes to groups with other children and mums?? If not its a good time to start getting her used to other people as she will be in school soon.

Your Mum has not broken a promise she has had to make a really difficult decision but has also taken you into account and plans to be home in time. Your poor Mum!

You don’t need an experienced birth partner, that’s what the midwives are for.

in any case, she’ll be back a week before your due date - it’ll almost certainly be fine

You don’t legally need to take anyone with you to the hospital

many women manage on their own

so IF you were more than 2 weeks early (how many weeks early would you consider ok?) then you would have a less than ideal but perfectly ok birth

My mum went on holiday both times I had a baby - planned section so she knew the date. Yes I was miffed (so I kind of get a teeny bit of your upset) but ultimately they’re your children, you can figure it out without needing her there.

Also, she’s going to see a dying Grandmother…not like she’s on a cocktail cruise! Hormones are next level in 3rd trimester, be kind to yourself but give yourself a little reality check.

Don't understand how your sister is old enough to come support you give birth but not watch your son, so your husband can go?

Sorry but if your great grandmother is on her death bed then surely she could go now , spend a month there and come back well ahead of your due date ? The whole death bed thing sounds really odd - it’s the 1st of September do they really expect her to survive for almost 2 months ?

During lockdown no one was allowed their partners with them during labour and they all survived. Not ideal obviously but it wasn’t an ideal situation. Nor is your Mum’s, I bet she is torn in half completely. I would be. Yes of course you could deliver early but then you might not. Please remember that parents of adult children are people too, it’s not all about you.

Why would you be taking your younger sister with you to hospital?

So your mun is currently with her granny but has scheduled to come back for 24th October? So she isn't leaving you in the lurch?

Overall I agree with the sentiment that you can't expect anyone (other than DP) to restrict their activities in the lead up to your due date, and she is coming back a good week before you are actually due?

Did you have DC1 early?

She going now and won't be back until 24th October, which would time to help with the funeral and support her Mum.
OP, she isn't letting you down. As said, this is as important and you aren't due until two weeks after she gets back. Then she's agreed to help, when she gets back. Grow up on the 'she's broken her promise', life throws a curve ball every now and again.

How old are your siblings? Hopefully your mum will be back before you give birth however it’s incredibly selfish of you to think your childcare issue takes priority over her seeing her grandma whilst on her deathbed

If your younger sister is old enough to be your birthing partner she's old enough to look after your 3 year old while Dad is with you. You're being ridiculous, your poor mother being quilted over a trip to see her dying grandmother

You really dont need a birthing partner...I had ds with just midwives while dh looked after dd.

It’s ok to break a promise when you need to go and see your dating grandmother.

Your child will have to get used to staying with someone else then. He doesn’t get to choose. Ridiculous. Is your dad around?
Isnt DH taking any paternity leave? What’s all this ‘help’ you need??
Get it together.

Wow Yabvu. Someone is dying...they take priority.

You chose to have another child this is not on her

This problem might be solved for you, since elderly people don't usually hang around on their death beds for a couple of months.

Good grief, what astounding entitlement.

There are other people in her life who need help and support right now, more than you do.

If you have willing people it's your job to help your child cope with staying with them. Build it up. Start with an hour. Then a meal. Have very exciting toys at the persons house. Or have them at your house and they bring cool toys.

Grow up OP..
Christ you are a mother yourself though obviously not a stable one.
You are the problem here, not your mum, not your dying grandparent and not your 3 yr old.

Her grandmother takes priority here. But am a bit confused why she’s not going sooner if it’s clear she’s nearing the end of her life?

Birth and life can be unpredictable so it’s good you have a plan b anyway and a few months to get comfortable with however the timings might play out.

If your mum often lets you down I can see how this might feel like yet another disappointment but it’s not the same as this is out of her hands.