Mum is flying abroad before my due date

When she promised to be around then did she know her grandmother was so unwell? It sounds like things have changed then.

Agreed, being dictated to by a child is daft and asking for problems unless there are ND issues present and then obviously allowances need to be made.

I’m not sure why people are saying you’re self centred when you aren’t due until November so your mum literally has any other time before then to go and see her grandmother!

Unless there is a valid reason she can’t go before then, then YANBU. My mum booked a holiday that arrived back when I was 39 weeks and I will never forget that she did that, luckily my in laws took my child as I ended up having a c section before she was back.

although I would say, if she isn’t around, your son should just stay with another family member, he’ll be fine. Your husband should come with you, your 3 year old can deal with missing you for a night and you can choose someone now to start getting him used to them.

If she is on her deathbed already, why isn't she booking for sooner?

I do think seeing a loved one before death is more important than having your first choice of birth partner, but I'd be annoyed that she is going then rather than earlier, and annoyed that she dismissed it with a 'you'll be overdue',, which she can't possibly know particularly for a second birth

I do think you need to get your son used to being looked after by other family members so you can ride-out this sort of ad-hoc event. We've had two unexpected deaths in DH's family since DC was born, and both times we were able to drop off DC with my sibling, and just go to be where we were needed, without it being a big drama for DC because they're already used to it. Honestly DC thinks sleepovers with without Mummy & Daddy are the best thing ever, which might have something to do with being spoiled rotten while they're there!

Wow!!! What everyone else said. But I was already blown away by the fact that your mum works and she’s taking two weeks to come and help you?!? Wtf. That’s half her annual leave!!! I’m kinda horrified at how I imagine you treat your poor mum.

What everyone else has said. And if the babe arrives early, don't you dare try to manipulate or guilt your mother into leaving her dying grandmother to support you instead!

My first baby, the first child in the family. I was extremely high risk and everything was going wrong.
My entire family except my husband went abroad for two weeks, two days before my due date. Sibling, grandparents, aunties everyone.
My in-laws were leaving day after my due date.
I gave birth with just my husband and I can tell you it was so peaceful getting those first two weeks entirely to ourselves!
Dying grandma trumps giving birth.

Yes it wasn’t lost me that’s the viewpoint PamBeesley was getting at too.

Ironically the OP values her sons close bond with his grandmother but doesnt respect her own mothers right to see her grandmother on her death bed.

Op isn’t coming back it seems

But it’s not about OP seeing her GREAT grandmother. It’s about OP’s mum wanting to see her own grandmother. Trying to distance the relationship by referring to GREAT doesn’t make your point any more valid and if anything only shows how self centred it is.

You’re a grown woman and mother yourself so it’s time you started relying less on your own mum to look after you. Your Grandma needs her more than you do!

My view is that once the kids leave home, they need to fend for themselves unless it’s an absolute emergency and in this case, your DH can stay home if you haven’t sorted out an alternative. However, you’ve still got plenty of time to sort out a babysitter.

Yes exactly my thoughts too op.

3 year olds can refuse to do any number of things, it doesn’t mean you bow down to them. Plenty of time to get him used to staying with other people. And yes I was thinking he must start school next year, so needs to get used to new things.

I was also thinking if your sister is old enough to be your birthing partner, she is old enough to look after your 3 year old.

Several - my priority was making sure older children were looked after.
And DH being there for the children as they are growing up.

Your three year old will be fine with your sister. Yes they might have a tantrum at first but will soon get over it. You are being ridiculous and making your mums life harder at what is already a hard time

Your mum sounds like she has a lot on her plate. You should use the next 2 months to find and get your child used to alternative childcare. Why can't your sister do it? If she's old enough to support you in hospital she's old enough to watch a 3 year old for a day.
And you should think twice about asking your mum to take 2 weeks off work to look after you. That's what paternity leave is for and I bet your mum could use some downtime.
Supportive families are great, but it needs to go both ways. It isn't one person getting exactly the amount of help they would prefer.

Edited. I was wrong.

Maybe she wants to stay there until after the funeral?

Most peeps don't get to decide when they die, OP has back up with her h and sis to look after her son, there is time for preparing her son.
Majority of peeps on here agree also that her gm has to take priority at this tome on this ocassion and so do I.

That’s not what I meant. I meant OPs GREAT grandmother being sick shouldn’t be a surprise to her mum at her age so make more of an effort to see her beforehand rather than at the worst time when she’s already got commitments

Did everyone get out of bed the wrong side today?

Is it end of holiday blues?

Just because this is AIBU you don't all have to be nasty, you can give your views in a reasonable manner.

Good grief.

!00% agree

You've got two months to get your 3 year old used to being looked after by your sister at your house. At this age, it's good for him to expand the range of carers he's happy with.