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Original poster

Do people not like me cos of my weight?

145 replies

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 14:42

I am 10 stone overweight
and although I have friends I’m never really included in the group stuff and I just feel like I’m no one’s favourite person, I’m liked but overlooked and left out
I don’t know if it’s because of how I look or is it the person I am? I try my best to get on with people I try and be a good friend and there for them.
this weekend iv had a downward spiral as I can see lots of people iv been friends with over the years all together and it’s just never me invited or included. I’m 44, is it too late to change the narrative

OP posts:
Batelyboo · 31/08/2025 21:17

That poster is so daft, I mean each to their own but IMO being just over 7.5 stone as an adult is not something to brag about.

And yet I typically wouldn’t actively comment negatively on someone who is 7 stone 7 - I’m only making a point here because they seem to think they’re so superior and have accomplished some kind of great achievement 😆

Batelyboo · 31/08/2025 21:17

That poster is so daft, I mean each to their own but IMO being just over 7.5 stone as an adult is not something to brag about.

And yet I typically wouldn’t actively comment negatively on someone who is 7 stone 7 - I’m only making a point here because they seem to think they’re so superior and have accomplished some kind of great achievement 😆

TrainedByCats · 31/08/2025 21:11

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:07

@HesarealJacquelineHigh I just wonder how people put on so much weight and don't tackle it before they get to TEN STONE overweight? That's me and a half!

If you are genuinely curious how and why people put on weight @forthistimeonly why don’t you start your own thread? don't hijack this one.

If you’re just asking the question here to be mean to the OP when she’s upset please consider not being mean

bert3400 · 31/08/2025 21:10

If you a seriel canceller maybe they just think, why bother she'll only cancel then we have to adjust our plans. I've had friends who do that and I end up not inviting them anymore, cause when you've organized something it's disheartening. I recently lost weight...3St on Mounjaro, it been life changing for me, physically and mentally...I feel so mentally light, my weight used to dominate my thoughts and I was very self conscious...now I walk with shoulders back, ready to face the world. You would probably qualify in the NHS ?

Letsgoroundagainnow · 31/08/2025 21:10

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:04

@VeryStressedMum honestly I do not know anyone who is obese.

Did you say earlier you’ve suffered anxiety and depression?

How would it be if I asked you why? Why are you anxious? I’ve been anxious but never been diagnosed? Why did you get depressed? What is there to be depressed about?

I mean I don’t know anyone with depression or anxiety?

HesarealJacquelineHigh · 31/08/2025 21:09

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:07

@HesarealJacquelineHigh I just wonder how people put on so much weight and don't tackle it before they get to TEN STONE overweight? That's me and a half!

Are you going to shoehorn the fact that you weigh 7 stone in to every reply you post on this thread? Fair play to you, it’s actually quite a talent. But as I said, how exactly do you think you are helping the OP?

CharlotteRumpling · 31/08/2025 21:09

Why do you cancel? Perhaps I have missed it.
I have dropped all my constantly cancelling friends.

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:07

@HesarealJacquelineHigh I just wonder how people put on so much weight and don't tackle it before they get to TEN STONE overweight? That's me and a half!

PerkyGreenCat · 31/08/2025 21:07

@BengalBangle not at all, what made you think that? I was acknowledging that it must be really hard for OP being so overweight and whilst being negative is bound to affect friendships, "stop moaning, be more positive" is much easier said than done.

Original poster
Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 21:07

Wildfairy · 31/08/2025 20:54

I doubt it’s your weight in isolation as such, but in part that due to the impact it has on you, along with your flakiness in letting people down and being moany, using your words, and not really able to do the same things.

we have a friend who is about ten stone over weight, it’s difficult, she’s lovely but she doesn’t really want to do anything other than go out to eat and she doesn’t move very fast, if I’m honest she doesn’t really move at all, and her conversation is limited, she doesn’t work anymore really, and has a real self pitying attitude,she spends a lot of time on line really in a virtual world.

the thing is how would you like to change this, can you invite people out, get involved in more things,?

I do work a lot, I can walk a lot but i am slower
I would like to lose weight but feel stuck

OP posts:
HesarealJacquelineHigh · 31/08/2025 21:04

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:01

Thank you @Theuntamed .
My body is absolutely fine thank you. At 54 I have abs, my body looks pretty much the same as it did in photos when I was 17 at Glastonbury! Two adult kids later.

Good for you. How exactly do you think this is helping the OP, given the content of her thread and what she’s struggling with? Well done, you’ve managed to not gain weight and are clearly morally superior to fat people.

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:04

@VeryStressedMum honestly I do not know anyone who is obese.

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 21:01

Thank you @Theuntamed .
My body is absolutely fine thank you. At 54 I have abs, my body looks pretty much the same as it did in photos when I was 17 at Glastonbury! Two adult kids later.

Wildfairy · 31/08/2025 20:54

I doubt it’s your weight in isolation as such, but in part that due to the impact it has on you, along with your flakiness in letting people down and being moany, using your words, and not really able to do the same things.

we have a friend who is about ten stone over weight, it’s difficult, she’s lovely but she doesn’t really want to do anything other than go out to eat and she doesn’t move very fast, if I’m honest she doesn’t really move at all, and her conversation is limited, she doesn’t work anymore really, and has a real self pitying attitude,she spends a lot of time on line really in a virtual world.

the thing is how would you like to change this, can you invite people out, get involved in more things,?

CharlotteRumpling · 31/08/2025 20:52

Also I would be bored by someone ' who never did anything' as you describe yourself. What would we talk about?

harriethoyle · 31/08/2025 20:52

Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 15:28

I do ask but it never really goes anywhere I get cancelled on a lot probable as I cancel a lot I guess

Show quote history

I think this will be a huge part of it @Sozsoz - as I get older I have less and less patience for people who are flaky and cancel. It’s like you’re saying their time is worth less than yours.

VeryStressedMum · 31/08/2025 20:51

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 19:18

@scotlandmamatoone
I don't and have never lived a sheltered life. I've lived most of my life in London, also lived in Australia, Canada, India in my 20s and now on the Kent coast. Seriously, I don't know anyone obese. I have a lot of friends, over 1k on FB who I know in person. Not one is obese.

You are lying

CharlotteRumpling · 31/08/2025 20:50

I can't bear friends who constantly cancel. I don't care about weight but I can't abide flaking except for a good reason.

Original poster
Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 20:49

Theuntamed · 31/08/2025 20:45

Still rude and now becoming ignorant- not everyone is the same as you, there’s a huge variety of people out there.

Show quote history

Hahah how ironic! Maybe you need to listen to your own words

OP posts:
soupyspoon · 31/08/2025 20:48

forthistimeonly · 31/08/2025 18:11

How did you get to be 10stone overweight? I weigh the same as I did at 16 and I'm 54 now. Two kids.
None of my friends are obese. Same friends since teens/20s. Some struggled to lose weight after pregnancy but they did. Some put on weight during menopause but they sorted it.

Lol

Informative and helpful to the thread

Not!

Original poster
Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 20:48

BengalBangle · 31/08/2025 20:41

I'd be bloody negative if I was carrying 10 stone around all the time. That's like carrying a whole person! Your life must be really hard, just doing daily tasks must be like climbing Everest

Are you intentionally trying to make the OP feel more shit about her weight, @perkygreencat?

I actually don’t mind this one because I think it’s true being fat has made me negative
I am fat because I have isolated myself and am scared of lots of people as iv experienced a lot of rejection from my dad, my family, my mum so I just took solace in food as it made me feel better and couldn’t hurt me. So it’s made me think

I have ptsd and adhd and I do find it hard to not being impulsive regarding food

On the hand the other lady who weighs the same as she did at 16…… something else lol starting to think she’s on a wind up surely no one is that bloody tone deaf

OP posts:
Someone2025 · 31/08/2025 20:47

Theuntamed · 31/08/2025 20:45

Still rude and now becoming ignorant- not everyone is the same as you, there’s a huge variety of people out there.

Show quote history

Oh for christ sake go back to my original comment and read what I was responding to

Theuntamed · 31/08/2025 20:45

Someone2025 · 31/08/2025 20:35

You might weight the same but that doesn’t necessarily mean you look good, I’m not questioning the fact that it can be done, as I’m sure it can, what I’m questioning is how good can someone look if they weigh the same as they did when at 16 years of age, I’m my opinion, not very good

Show quote history

Still rude and now becoming ignorant- not everyone is the same as you, there’s a huge variety of people out there.

Original poster
Sozsoz · 31/08/2025 20:44

HappyNewTaxYear · 31/08/2025 20:29

I used to know someone who was at least 10 stone overweight, possibly more. She was a difficult person to be friends with because she was basically an addict, with all that brings with it - cancellations, flakiness etc - but also a massive amount of self-delusion and denial. She put a lot of effort into maintaining the appearance that her life was normal, when in reality her food addiction and enormous size meant that it was not. She seemed to expect everyone else to go along with the pretence. It was very sad.

Hmm this is interesting I wonder if I do this without realising what kind of things did she do

OP posts:
BengalBangle · 31/08/2025 20:41

I'd be bloody negative if I was carrying 10 stone around all the time. That's like carrying a whole person! Your life must be really hard, just doing daily tasks must be like climbing Everest

Are you intentionally trying to make the OP feel more shit about her weight, @perkygreencat?