Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
LittleElfEars · 31/08/2025 11:37

They know they can be seen. It only takes a second of looking to know you can see all the detail.
I would contact the police as they know children are watching them

Emptyandsad · 31/08/2025 11:37

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Yup, that's the issue here: what it does to the house prices...

the5thgoldengirl · 31/08/2025 11:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

geekone · 31/08/2025 11:35

The responses to this have me baffled, I am absolutely not a prude and I often find the I can hear my neighbours shagging posts funny but this is different. If a man was standing at a window naked and having a w*nk everyone would be up in arms and calling the police.
Dont write a letter, inform the police they have no proof but they will likely pay them a visit anyway.

AtIusvue · 31/08/2025 11:35

To all those that seem to think it’s perfectly fine to have sex in front of a window.

This man has been charged this month, with indecent exposure, for engaging in sexual activity at a window.

https://www.falkirkherald.co.uk/news/crime/man-in-court-over-alleged-indecent-exposure-in-falkirk-5284693

Honestly! As if it’s bloody normal to behave that way.

OP report them to the police .

pinknailvarnish1 · 31/08/2025 11:35

Op, my DH is a Police Controller - he decides which calls to send Officers to - and he said he absolutely would be sending Officers to this, and it IS a crime. He's been a Police Officer for 20 years too, so he knows his stuff.

Butchyrestingface · 31/08/2025 11:34

GenieGenealogy · 31/08/2025 11:21

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

Also the OP said "in the distance" and the oddbods are queuing up to make oh so clever quips about binoculars.

I read the OP as the house being at the bottom of the garden, across the road, round the corner - not RIGHT next door, or a side window of one house looking into the side window of another house. Unless you are particularly hard of thought, you can imagine houses you may have been in where you can clearly see into someone's kitchen from your kitchen. As I come down the stairs, I can see the upper landing of my neighbour's house which is about 10 feet away. If you have a back garden, which backs onto someone else's back garden, and they have a massive glass extension on the back with big windows, of COURSE you are going to be able to see into those rooms from the rooms at the back of your house. Especially when it's dark and their lights are on. You would clearly be able to see (as the OP says) that they were "going at it doggy style".

You do need to address this OP, either anonymously or by reporting to the police.

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

I've noted that myself in the past. Weird for a forum where the vast majority of posters are, or claim to be, parents.

I'm not a mother and think it's absolutely rank to be shagging in full view of adult neighbours, far less young kids.

Plus, anyone who objects to it invariably gets framed as some kind of sexual deviant who has deliberately gone out of their way to watch. There's nowt as strange as folks.

Theseventhmagpie · 31/08/2025 11:34

MsTamborineMan · 31/08/2025 10:20

It'd hardly prudish to not want your young children to see people having sex. Moat adults would be horrified that a child could see you shagging from their bedroom window

Show quote history

Totally agree. They sound like a vile pair of exhibitionists. Grim. I wouldn’t want my children seeing this either.

TottyMaude · 31/08/2025 11:34

botheredandbewilderedagain · 31/08/2025 11:29

As it was in the distance you'll need a telephoto lens... and you will be the one invading their privacy.

Show quote history

I don't think the shaggers want any privacy. I'm pretty sure if you're making the beast with two backs in full view of the street, your expectation of privacy would be nil.

Daygloboo · 31/08/2025 11:33

Emptyandsad · 31/08/2025 11:32

There is a duty on the shaggers to be discreet and an equal duty on the observer not to try too hard to get a view. Bad shagging is considered indecent exposure and bad observing is considered voyeurism. Both are criminal offences. It would be up to a magistrate/judge/jury to decide on what happened, what motivation there was on the part of both watcher and watchees and who was culpable.

Quite.

Cantsleepdontsleep · 31/08/2025 11:32

Put some security cameras up (even if fake). Obviously you can’t film their property, but it may stop them. It would be incredibly ballsy them to ask if you are videoing them having sex!!

Emptyandsad · 31/08/2025 11:32

There is a duty on the shaggers to be discreet and an equal duty on the observer not to try too hard to get a view. Bad shagging is considered indecent exposure and bad observing is considered voyeurism. Both are criminal offences. It would be up to a magistrate/judge/jury to decide on what happened, what motivation there was on the part of both watcher and watchees and who was culpable.

Daygloboo · 31/08/2025 11:32

ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/08/2025 10:20

How hard is he watching to see all that detail ‘in the distance’ while putting his kids to bed really? Doesn’t sound like he just shut the curtains which would be my first step

Oh come on. If you see something out of the ordinary....bug windows, sex, no curtains......you'd watch too out of sheer curiosity, surprise. I think they are exhibitionists who know what they are doing.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 31/08/2025 11:30

I’d have a bit of fun with it. I’d post on the local residents group anonymously mentioning that there is a house locally that hasn’t invested in any curtains for their ceiling to floor window and unfortunately all upstairs activities are visible from your children’s bedroom window. That might lead to more people saying they too have been subject to an uninvited side show and it might get back to the correct people.

botheredandbewilderedagain · 31/08/2025 11:29

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:34

I can’t believe some of these responses. To me it’s public indecency. I would take photo evidence and go to the police.

As it was in the distance you'll need a telephoto lens... and you will be the one invading their privacy.

Flakey99 · 31/08/2025 11:29

Imagine putting on a sex show for the neighbours thinking you’re oh so cool, then getting prosecuted and your names appearing in the papers for everyone to see! 🤣🤣

3amamama · 31/08/2025 11:29

Go to the police they can call and have a chat with them.

Fuck sake, some of the replies on this thread. Being on your own property doesn’t mean you can expose unwilling third parties and minors to sexual behaviour. What the actual fuck.

MulberryMoon · 31/08/2025 11:27

thebabayaga · 31/08/2025 11:23

Yes, there are always a bunch of kind of pervy people on mumsnet pretending public indecency is just fine and everyone who disagrees must be terribly uncool. I've noticed that too.

Show quote history

Definitely. They're weirdos

LovelyLuluu · 31/08/2025 11:26

GenieGenealogy · 31/08/2025 11:21

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

Also the OP said "in the distance" and the oddbods are queuing up to make oh so clever quips about binoculars.

I read the OP as the house being at the bottom of the garden, across the road, round the corner - not RIGHT next door, or a side window of one house looking into the side window of another house. Unless you are particularly hard of thought, you can imagine houses you may have been in where you can clearly see into someone's kitchen from your kitchen. As I come down the stairs, I can see the upper landing of my neighbour's house which is about 10 feet away. If you have a back garden, which backs onto someone else's back garden, and they have a massive glass extension on the back with big windows, of COURSE you are going to be able to see into those rooms from the rooms at the back of your house. Especially when it's dark and their lights are on. You would clearly be able to see (as the OP says) that they were "going at it doggy style".

You do need to address this OP, either anonymously or by reporting to the police.

I agree.

I read all the OP's posts 3 times to see if I'd missed the binoculars- nope, not there.

Posters jumping to conclusions.

Likewise the inference that her H is getting aroused by watching.

MN are super quick to condemn victim blaming when it suits but have obvious double standards.

Buttondowner · 31/08/2025 11:26

Personperson · 31/08/2025 10:17

Just close your curtains?

They can do what they want in their house. Your responsibility to make sure your children don't see.

They can do what they want in their house

No they can't you plonker 😂

MulberryMoon · 31/08/2025 11:26

CunningLinguist2 · 31/08/2025 11:18

And what would you want the police to do exactly?

Show quote history

Tell them to stop having sex in front of children. Most people would be shamed by being told that by police.

usedtobeaylis · 31/08/2025 11:25

The whole thing is solved by grown adults not having sex where people can overlook them. That's basically it.

LovelyLuluu · 31/08/2025 11:24

thebabayaga · 31/08/2025 11:23

Yes, there are always a bunch of kind of pervy people on mumsnet pretending public indecency is just fine and everyone who disagrees must be terribly uncool. I've noticed that too.

Show quote history

Or they make a hobby of disagreeing with an OP who expresses a totally normal reaction to something.

Flakey99 · 31/08/2025 11:23

It’s a crime. Take a photo and report to police as indecent exposure.

Imagine a bloke standing naked in front of his window looking into a street and masturbating. Just because there’s two of them at it, makes no difference.

thebabayaga · 31/08/2025 11:23

GenieGenealogy · 31/08/2025 11:21

Posters are being deliberately disingenuous to try to appear "cool". It's a very weird aspect of this forum.

Also the OP said "in the distance" and the oddbods are queuing up to make oh so clever quips about binoculars.

I read the OP as the house being at the bottom of the garden, across the road, round the corner - not RIGHT next door, or a side window of one house looking into the side window of another house. Unless you are particularly hard of thought, you can imagine houses you may have been in where you can clearly see into someone's kitchen from your kitchen. As I come down the stairs, I can see the upper landing of my neighbour's house which is about 10 feet away. If you have a back garden, which backs onto someone else's back garden, and they have a massive glass extension on the back with big windows, of COURSE you are going to be able to see into those rooms from the rooms at the back of your house. Especially when it's dark and their lights are on. You would clearly be able to see (as the OP says) that they were "going at it doggy style".

You do need to address this OP, either anonymously or by reporting to the police.

Yes, there are always a bunch of kind of pervy people on mumsnet pretending public indecency is just fine and everyone who disagrees must be terribly uncool. I've noticed that too.