Couple having sex in front of window

and if a neighbour is playing loud music at 3 in the moring or has an incessantly barking dog, then you should just get earplugs, and if a neighbour has a bonfire every evening in their garden you should dry your clothes indoors and keep your windows shut at all times, and if a neighbour likes to have a wank while watching passers by from their living room window, you should cross the road and look the other way, all problems solved without troubling the neighbour.

There’s a very interesting effect on these threads. The serious-minded posters seem to have the more lurid imaginations: full on Amsterdam porn show right in your face in the suburbs, that sort of thing.

We have no idea what the details of distance and likelihood of being seen are!

Make me laugh if the OP sends the police round and the couple turn out to be the local Inspector and his/her partner.

We had a neighbour that did this a number of years ago now. Not quite such big windows, but it was obvious what was going on. It wasn't infrequent and it was by the big door where my kids had to go in and out during the day. I went over, knocked on the door, and asked them to close their curtains when they were busy. Very civil and brief conversation. They never did it again and always closed the curtains.

The OP said a converted loft. I'd be curious to see the physics of "passing by".

Polite note

If that makes them worse, they have an exhibitionism kink. If they don’t stop after knowing children are involved, police. If that doesn’t work, I’d show them what real exposure looks like 🤷‍♀️

😆😆😆

They are the "cool" mumsnetters.

To have sex in front of a large window with the lights on is exhibitionist behaviour IMO.

It wouldn't bother me, but maybe you should close the curtains of your DC's bedrooms before they go in there.

This reminds me of when we had a street party many many years ago. There was a couple that we called spiderman and his wife (because he was apparently obssessed with spiders). Everyone in the street was invited but they declined.

As it was getting dark the light went on in what I presume was their bedroom window. The curtains were open and Spiderman was wandering round with nothing on. The entire street was fascinated by this and it did cause quite an amusing stir.

OP's husband is 'creepy' but not the exhibitionists putting on a live sex show every night? Sure.

I would take a photo blurring faces and any personal parts then report to the police (and immediately delete the uncensored photo including from recycle bin so you can't be accused of voyeurism!). Though maybe better to ask the police first about required evidence before resorting to photography.

I would write a letter to them first though before resorting to that, as I imagine the police will expect you to do that first. And it's just polite. Maybe they're unaware. They xould get some of that glass that goes darker at night so people can't see in if they don't want curtains or something.

Some of the replies on this 🤯
Phone 101 and report them. End of!

It's exhibitionism. I had a guy opposite my flat in London who, every Sunday afternoon without fail, would take his dressing gown off, sit on his recliner, by the window, project porn on to a massive wall mounted TV, and have a long leisurely wank with the blinds open. Around 30 flats in my building could see either him, or the porn. The concierge of his building was notified, and after the concierge of my building clocked him for the third time, they both phoned the police who had a word.

Sex doesn't just happen at night and I don't want to close my blinds in the middle of the day. They should move away from the window or install blinds.

So you would close your curtains all day in order to avoid the risk of being exposed to?

It really isn't.
OP is not the one committing a potential indecent exposure offence. As soon as the exhibitionists are made aware that their activities are causing distress then action can be taken against them. The usual way of dealing with this is for the local police to have a quiet word. The OP could inform the exhibitionists if they want to but it's usually best left to the police for obvious reasons.

Passers by don't have curtains, OP does. She ( and her dh who enjoyed the floor show) need to close them.

A friend of mine was on the jury of a case where a man had been masturbating at home in his lounge. The main curtains were closed but a tiny side curtain had been left open (who knows if this was on purpose or not) and someone walking past saw and reported him. He got found guilty od indecent exposure even though he protested that he hadn't intended to be seen.

So, I am thinking that no, you just can't do what you want in your own home. I would suggest writing to them and if that doesn't work contact the police.

That's your opinion, yes. It isn't mine. You do understand that there are different opinions?

It's funny, but the first thing that sprang to mind on reading your post was that I'd rather children see something natural and normal like that, than get hold of Pornhub or something darker - although I think laws are tightening up on that. I've known people whose parents used to walk around naked in front of them. If you don't make something out of nothing, nothing will come out of something. Let them crack on.

Dear Neighbour,
Everyone in the area can see you shagging.
Including my young children.
Please get some blinds or curtains before i am forced to go to the police about this.
Thanks
All your neighbours xx

It's hard to imagine that the couple don't know they are visible, but you could try to catch them in the street or drop a note through their door saying neutrally 'Just in case you don't realise, there is a really clear view into your bedroom from our children's bedroom window.' Then leave it to them. You can't make them put up curtains or use another room, but they might especially when the know that children are being affected.

There are a lot worse things kids could - and do - see.

I knew the cool posters would be along to state how it's absolutely fine for people to shag 'in the privacy of their own home!' 🙄

But it's not is it, because it's in a wide open window for all to see. Why do they think other people want to see them shagging? It's attention seeking and pathetic behaviour. And no-one should have to 'close their curtains' to avoid seeing it. What if you're in the garden. What if the children are in the garden?

It IS an offence what they are doing, and they CAN be reported for it. Drop them a letter @doremifaso asking them to stop it - written with ink and popped in an envelope, and make a copy of it, and if it carries on report them to the police. They are no better than people who indecently expose themselves to people in public. That is basically what they are doing.

A quick Google search brings up this...

Yes, you can report someone having sex in a public or visible open window in the UK as it could be considered a criminal offense such as public indecency or outraging public decency, and you should contact the police on 101 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 to report it. If you or someone else is in immediate danger or needs help right away, call 999.

Why You Can Report It

Having sex in a public or visible location is a criminal offense in the UK, and could be classified as indecent exposure or outraging public decency. These offenses involve actions that are lewd, obscene, or disgusting in the presence of others. Even if the act is occurring in what seems like a private residence, if the window is open and the act is visible to the public, it could be considered a public act.

How to Report It

Call 101: for non-emergency incidents, or visit a police station.

Call 999: if there is an immediate danger or if the incident is happening now and you or someone else needs urgent help.

Contact Crimestoppers: on 0800 555 111 to report it anonymously.

Report online: to the police via their website, or through Crimestoppers.

What to Do at the Scene

Look away and move away: if you can.
Do not engage directly: with the person you see.
Consider taking a photo: from a safe distance if it is safe to do so.

They are in a loft conversion, so at roof height, are they having sex standing up against the window or lying on a bed back from the window? If just lying on a bed in the room and this roof room is 'in the distance' I would imagine very few neighbours could see anything much at all.

Oh do write a letter but maybe go the opposite way saying you really enjoy watching them but maybe they need to lose a bit of weight as it's putting you off a bit.
If you can include something about his manhood being a bit small so needing to invest in some binoculars all the better

I'd be contacting the police for assistance. They know what they're doing.

I really think this IS OP’s problem to solve, and window film is a quick, cheap, easy way to do it.