Lack of bereavement support .

I'm going through the same as you and do agree with you to some extent

In the first few weeks of bereavement, there's lots of support and help. But that does tend to drift away after a few months. I don't think it's because people don't care. I just think they have to carry on with their lives and in some cases, aren't always certain whether saying something it's the right thing to do.

How long ago was the bereavement?

Because they don't want to make things awkward for you/push boundaries/put you on the spot and might think that now you are back at work you are ready to concentrate and be publicly and professionally 'back to normal'.

It of course depends what kind of support you mean, whether it was initiated by you, your relationship with them, etc. But people would be hesitant out of consideration, usually, not out of lack of care.

I think it can be tricky in the workplace - colleagues often don't broach the subject as they don't want to upset you. There's still a stigma about getting upset at work and not being 'professional'. Your friends should definitely be supporting you though. I'm sorry for your loss 💐

Friends perhaps but it’s not up to colleagues to provide support. I’m so sorry for your loss. Look for bereavement counselling or support groups perhaps.

Having had multiple bereavements in recent years I totally agree with you.
I lost a grandchild soon after birth and very few mentioned it, it really has been hurtful.People struggle with dealing with the bereaved generally and the work setting seems to complicate it.

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure you will get support on here.

@Crosorbled

I am sorry for your loss. It sounds recent.

Have you sought out support from your GP / a counselling service / bereavement charity?

I think bereavement is a very personal matter and so it is unrealistic to expect colleagues to support you with that. Not because they are horrible people - just because it is an unrealistic expectation.

A lot of people can be very awkward / uncomfortable around death.

I also found that until you have actually experienced a bereavement yourself, you probably have not developed that particular depth of empathy / experience.

I am sorry again for your loss.

I’m sorry you aren’t getting the support you want from friends and colleagues, I worked with men, who sadly, hadn’t dealt with bereavement themselves so didn’t help me at all when I lost close family. Hopefully posting here will get you support, if you want to talk about it.

Sorry for your loss.

I think the biggest problem around bereavement is people just don’t know what to say or do.

They don’t want to ‘upset you’ so they do nothing.

reach out to- tell people what you need. Close friends and family I’m sure will be glad to help but do often they just don’t know how.

Take care.

AIBU is not a place for a gentle discussing. You will get kinder replies if you ask MN to move this to the bereavement board.

Perhaps they're wary of being intrusive? What kind of support are you thinking of?