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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for positive stories of mixed sex siblings

107 replies

Mushroo · 31/08/2025 07:33

Firstly, I know I’m being massively unreasonable.

When I had my first LO, I actually had a slight preference for the other sex, but once they arrived they are everything I wanted and more. They are just my world and everything people say about the positives for the other sex, they have! They are just the best.

Im pregnant with number 2 and really really wanted two the same, because I know so many brother / sister sets who are so close and it’s lovely.

We just found out we’ll be having one of each and I’m really upset.

Im surprised by my reaction and I know I’m being massively unreasonable, but whilst I get my head around it and adjust, please can you regale me with why one of each is amazing?

OP posts:
SwallowsandAmazonians · 31/08/2025 07:48

My two are opposite sex, almost three years apart and super close, best friends. They are 10 and 7 now. They really look after each other (when not fighting, obviously).

I know a few same sex siblings who as adults don't get on at all. I'm pretty close with my brother.

betsy99 · 31/08/2025 07:47

I have my two brothers who are my best mates, despite being of a different sex we have a lot in common and they have been so generous to me. Never missed not having a sister.

icallshade · 31/08/2025 07:42

I can only assume you are trying to replicate your own sibling relationship.

Fwiw, my sister and I are 18 months apart and have a terrible sibling relationship, which stems from our upbringing.

I would therefore argue that sibling relationships are very dependent on how children are raised, and I'm hoping to nurture my DD and DS already lovely relationship as they grow up.

ObsidianTree · 31/08/2025 07:41

I kind of know what you mean. My first was a boy and I loved raising him. He was such an easy baby. When having the second I kind of wanted another boy because he was such a joy. But was happy when having a girl. They are completely different but also have a strong bond with my girl also. You will love your second just as much as your first.

My two get on brilliantly. There is a nearly 5 year age gap but they still have a great bond. Getting stronger as they get older and can share some hobbies like playing Roblox together. But more difficult when they were younger, but they muddled through.

verycloakanddaggers · 31/08/2025 07:40

I really think you need to get some help with this, your thinking is all wrong.

All combinations of siblings can be amazing or difficult.

LittleCarrot12 · 31/08/2025 07:39

With my second I thought a girl would be nice but wanted a brother for my son more. I also wanted a small age gap as thought they’d be closer. I’ve since realised it’s how siblings are raised that makes them close, not sex or age gaps.

MidnightPatrol · 31/08/2025 07:36

I think this line of thinking is so bizarre. I assume it stems from wanting to replicate a specific relationship you have with a sibling?

The child won’t know any different to what they grow up with. Brothers and sisters can have perfectly lovely friendships.

I’d argue a positive is they’re less likely to be directly competitive in the way single sex siblings can be, it gives the other a better insight into the opposite sex etc.!