To ask for positive stories of mixed sex siblings

One of each here. Eldest off to uni soon, youngest starting 6th form. They’ve always been close, today they’re out shopping together and eldest is going to show youngest round the town of her 6th form as she doesn’t know it well and he does.

My mum recently passed away at 95, slowly loosing her mind. In the last 6 months of her life, every time I visited her she asked for her late older brother, she was with him when he died almost 30 years ago, but somehow she’d forgotten. She wanted to see him, even on the last day she could speak he was the only person she wanted, not her mum or dad, late husband, me, her grandchildren. I think it was very much them against the world in many ways. It broke my heart that I couldn’t make it happen.

I know plenty of same sex siblings who are virtual strangers as adults.

I think it’s another partly nature partly nurture how this works out.

I think it's absolutely down to personality and not gender, or even parenting. My two have always been really close - they shared a room for years and then had regular "sibling sleepovers" afterwards. They are now in their mid-late teens and downs a lot of time together still - they are currently at a sports tournament together - DD decided to come along to DS's sports club sessions over the summer holidays together, decided to take up the sport and is being the token woman on the team in the mixed age/gender bracket for the summer tournament. They go to gigs and films together and are generally very close friends as well as siblings.

I think it's the hormones!
I have one of each. It's been nice to have the experience of being a boy mum & a girl mum. Although this depends on your child's personality a bit - I was a complete tomboy so probably not the classic girl experience for my mum!
Also relationships between your kids ebbs and flows over time - the kids who bicker age 7&9 could sit up chatting until 2am as older teens.
Best of luck with your growing family

My opposite sex dcs played together really happily, fought far less than I did with my dsis. Now in their mid 20s, although they live in different cities and very much each have their own lives, they go to each others parties, socilise with each others friends (and partners when there are partners on the scene) and in fact they are about to go on holiday together ☺️

Really it’s personality. I know same sex siblings who are best mates and some who are estranged. And the same with mixed sex. My (one of each) are as opposite as can be and sad to say my DD does not like her brother though she does love him. They got on well as very young children but not as their differences came to the fore.
And I disagree with @LittleCarrot12- it’s not how they are raised but how they are as individuals.

Oh interesting! That's the other way around to what I thought it was.

What is it that makes you want a brother relationship and not a mixed sex one? Can you unpick it a bit.

I think it's normal to love your first so much you can't imagine loving another, especially if they are different gender maybe. But you will! You don't split your heart in two you grow a whole new one.

Ds 22 and dd 18 very very close. If one has a problem they go straight to the other for support . Stayed that way while ds was at uni, don't think it will change now he's home and dd goes next month. Don't worry it's the personality's that make them close!

I get this OP. I was very similar, didn’t really have any particular preference for either sex but would really have liked two the same. Given my first was a girl with our second I wanted another girl, had my first been a boy I would have wanted another boy. I think this comes from my own very very difficult relationship with my own brother and like you I know lots of same sex siblings who are very close.

however, of course my second was a boy and I have one of each. Just like how your gender preferences evaporated as soon as your first child was both so it will again with your second!

I can’t imagine my family looking any different to how it does now. Our son completely completes our family. The relationship with his sister is just beautiful to watch, yes they fight (constantly) but also love each other so much. Who knows what will happen as they grow but we never know what the future holds. Put for now I’m so lucky to have the children I have.

I’ve got one DB. Has always been my best friend, we have always got on really well.

There was a post like this recently.

Mixed sex siblings is so normal, most of my friends are part of mixed sex sibling groups.

My DCs all get along and are great friends. They played together for hours when then were younger.

My DS and DD get on really well and always have done to be fair. They wouldn’t be each others first choice if they had their mates round - but even now at 21 and 19 they went out together last week together to watch a film they both wanted to see.

They have each other’s backs when its tough - they have a bit of an arrangement each month - he lends her money when she is skint - as she is useless with money 😬 and she drives him to his mates/ pub as he doesn’t drive 😀. It works for them!!

Different sexes also equals fierce competitiveness, whoever upthread said it doesn’t. Ask my older two, and my partner and his closest (in age) sibling!

Ooooh no. It’s not “how siblings are raised!” I have four children and my oldest and youngest are extremely close, whereas the two older ones fight like cat and dog. The third gets on well with all of the others. They’ve all been raised the same, but combinations of personalities and age gaps make the difference here.

If you are aware you are being unreasonable then what is the point of opening the thread in the AIBU? You are polluting the forum.

Hopefully you will do better next time, lovely.

Mine (different sexes) are thick as thieves. They are now adults. Still the same

What the fuck is wrong with people? All that matters is a healthy child.
I have one of each and they are absolutely fab and lovely with each other.

I’ve got 2 DS’s and 1DD,all grown up now. They’re all really close, DD and DS2 have bought a place together and they get on well with DS1 and his partner. All coming round for Sunday lunch today and there’ll be lots of laughter and conversation.
Yes they fought sometimes as kids, as did me and my sister.

I am part of a mixed sex sibling set and we’re very close and protective of each other. Ditto for our DC.

I also know many same sex siblings who don’t get on.

I also know it’s not the same for all siblings

Mine are in their 30's now, boy then girl, 19 months apart. They were always very close and happily played together for hours. DS is more laid back and DD is more organised/bossy but they've always been incredibly tolerant and supportive of each other. DS was protective of DD and DD organised DS when she felt he needed it. They still get on well with each other, with each other's partners and with their individual friend groups.

As children we also had no issues when one of them had a playdate. They either all played well together or the non-playdate child got bored and went off to do their own thing. If both had playdates it was similarly mixed play behaviour. There was never any friction, mostly just a gaggle of happily playing, or (if outdoors) shouting, running children. The boys were noisier but the girls did more high pitched squeals when they got over-excited, so both could be equally irritating, lol. I think that being opposite sex meant that there was no competitiveness, which you often see with same-sex siblings, but for whatever reason, it worked really well.

Anecdotally, obviously but I've found that it's dd then ds, they seem to get on pretty well.

Mine don't argue, but they don't really interact with one another, although dd has tried all her life. Ds is a bit of a loner, so i don't think it would have mattered what sex the other dc was. They're just very different people. It makes me sad, but I can't see them having any relationship when they leave home. They never seek one another out. They never have a conversation that isn't instigated by me at the table.

I only have my baby brother - nearly a decade younger than me, total dickhead. Would walk through fire just to get him a Kit Kat. I’m actually having our first kid just six months after his and we’re planning holidays and all sorts together. I love him.

DH only has a sister, they talk most days. She has three DC under 10, we see them as much as we can and go on holiday together at least twice a year.

We all worry about our kids but honest to god, you’ll have no idea how they’ll gel until they’re actually growing up together.

How odd to be upset!

For the record, DD’s 2 eldest were girl, boy, only 15 months apart, and always got on very well, very affectionate and playing together from a very early age. It was lovely to see.

I had boy, girl, boy They're all adults now.

The two boys played football together. The two youngest did drama together. The two oldest did things together before the youngest could join them.

All close now, and with a rounded view of the opposite sex

Pretty weird to believe gender is the glue that's going to hold their sibling relationship together, I reckon

You wanted the opposite sex when you had the first one and now you got the sex you wanted, you dont want it and are upset.

There's just no pleasing you. This is all a fantasy about what makes a perfect family. Just so you know i have sister, i have had to cut off because she's been so abusive to me all my life and ive had enough.

Stop fantasising about what makes a perfect family and accept what youve got. Maybe your kids will be close. Maybe they'll hate each other but the sex wont make a difference to that.

This is why I dont think anyone should find out the sex before birth.