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Original poster

DD upset at nursery pickup

57 replies

Winchesterway · 30/08/2025 23:41

My DD 2.5 year old has been in nursery since 11 months old.

My post is mainly asking for advice on how to manage when I collect her. She will be happy to see me, but she will want to play with toys, fight going into her car seat etc when I collect her.

Last straw was this week. She refused to go in her car seat for 20 mins, so staff were waiting for us so they could lock the the car park. I was so embarrassed, bargaining/pleading/being stern did not work. I didn't shout but took all my self control. I cried driving her home, I was so ashamed. She's strong willed personality wise, and very little other than offering treats (sweets/new toys) helps when we need her to cooperate which isn't something i want to encourage.
Am I unreasonable to be so overwhelmed that she messes/cries/ fights going into the car when I collect her?
Please no flaming or trolling, I'm just asking for genuine advice on how to stop both of us being upset and angry (DH is involved but due to work hours can't do pick ups)

OP posts:
tinybeautiful · 30/08/2025 23:59

Pre-fold her into the car seat. We went through a 'we do not negotiate with terrorists' stage too and it was painful but it did pass.

Original poster
Winchesterway · 30/08/2025 23:57

tedibear · 30/08/2025 23:53

It’s hard u have my sympathy!

My youngest used to be like this at times. I used to fight her to get her in the car and belted up then she would scream all the way home. If sometimes I actually still cldnt get her in, I always just said oh well I’m going and walk away or in this case start to get in the car. She usually has a bad turn at that and says no mummy don’t leave me & let’s me get her in the car. Sometimes then starts being difficult again when getting belted up. She’s almost 6 now and wants to do her belt herself 🙈 so I’m hovering over her waiting on her doing it which takes an age and then I have to fix the straps etc. When does it get easier lol. TBH my eldest rarely done any of this maybe depends on the child!

She calls my bluff if I try walked away. She would happily stay in the car park, so this is my struggle as 'I'm going now' wouldn't work unless I'm actually driving away from her

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 30/08/2025 23:56

Winchesterway · 30/08/2025 23:53

She physically fights the car seat though, I had to force her in last week. 3 staff looking at me while forcing her in the seat while she cried and arched her back so couldn't clip her straps in the car seat. I cried driving her home.

Show quote history

Yeah so did my 3.

It's not unusual unfortunately.

And you managed to force her in so you can do it again. Don't worry about who's looking, your kid isn't the first to have a tantrum and certainly won't be the last.

Mine used to stiffen themselves like an ironing board and try to slide out while I battled with the straps! 🙄🤣

tedibear · 30/08/2025 23:53

It’s hard u have my sympathy!

My youngest used to be like this at times. I used to fight her to get her in the car and belted up then she would scream all the way home. If sometimes I actually still cldnt get her in, I always just said oh well I’m going and walk away or in this case start to get in the car. She usually has a bad turn at that and says no mummy don’t leave me & let’s me get her in the car. Sometimes then starts being difficult again when getting belted up. She’s almost 6 now and wants to do her belt herself 🙈 so I’m hovering over her waiting on her doing it which takes an age and then I have to fix the straps etc. When does it get easier lol. TBH my eldest rarely done any of this maybe depends on the child!

Original poster
Winchesterway · 30/08/2025 23:53

WhateverMate · 30/08/2025 23:46

All my 3 were like that at this age.

I never pleaded or bargained with them.

I'd just pick them up, shove them firmly in the seat and do the belt up.

I hated doing it but it was much better than a long drawn out battle that ended up worse for both of us.

2 or 3 minutes into the drive they'd forget all about it and cheer up anyway.

She physically fights the car seat though, I had to force her in last week. 3 staff looking at me while forcing her in the seat while she cried and arched her back so couldn't clip her straps in the car seat. I cried driving her home.

OP posts:
Treviarpelli · 30/08/2025 23:51

I agree with the above. They can be forced and certainly do not keep anybody waiting while you shilly shally. If needs be, drive a very short distance away from the carpark and the deal with your dc

WhateverMate · 30/08/2025 23:46

All my 3 were like that at this age.

I never pleaded or bargained with them.

I'd just pick them up, shove them firmly in the seat and do the belt up.

I hated doing it but it was much better than a long drawn out battle that ended up worse for both of us.

2 or 3 minutes into the drive they'd forget all about it and cheer up anyway.