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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Since when?

367 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 21:40

Posting here for traffic.

My DD starts year 7 next week. Local secondary. Nothing fancy.

She and we are respectful of uniform policy and have purchased everything we need to. She looks bloody smart and we (and she) can't wait for her to start.

As 11 year old girls will do, they have tried their whole set up in front of their friends and all of them said the same thing:

"You will get sent home with those shoes"

They throw detentions out for the most minor of uniform infractions and DD is now having a massive anxiety spiral that she's going to get a detention or worse sent home 1st day because of her shoes.

I spoke to a friend who works in the school office and showed her a picture and her response was "oooh, I'm not sure. Air Force 1s are the best way to go"

Since when have trainers been a smarter, more acceptable form of shoe than a patent loafer??!!!

For full disclosure she has chosen the Kickers Edie loafer as in the link

https://www.kickers.co.uk/adult-women-edie-loafer-patent-leather-black/14913640.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK+-+Kickers+-+Search+-+Brand+-+Core+-+Broad&utm_term=kickers&utm_content=brand+-+Kickers&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20162340688&gbraid=0AAAAADiNwZXHWpJ1LFmAfTE2drVjkEy8k&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwsrFBhD6ARIsAPnUFD1w_j6Ufhx1cfFv1a1fF0Ageht-fZYRGu_xo9ofOilAOdjE7KgGjEgaAoLrEALw_wcb

This school stipulates that hair past chin lemgth needs to be in a ponytail with a hair band that is the closest colour to the individuals hair colour, yet believes that a trainer is smarter/more acceptable than the loafer.

AIBU here?! I know trainers are more acceptable these days but are they really considered smarter considering how rigid they are on the smaller items?!

Kickers GB

Shop Adult Women Edie Loafer Patent Leather Black online with Kickers. Find this and more here.

https://www.kickers.co.uk/adult-women-edie-loafer-patent-leather-black/14913640.html?gad_campaignid=20162340688&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADiNwZXHWpJ1LFmAfTE2drVjkEy8k&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwsrFBhD6ARIsAPnUFD1w_j6Ufhx1cfFv1a1fF0Ageht-fZYRGu_xo9ofOilAOdjE7KgGjEgaAoLrEALw_wcb&gclsrc=aw.ds

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Pastaandoranges · 31/08/2025 01:00

Ours require a shoe, but the kids are getting away with trainers that are all black, I went down the proper flat traditional shoe route for year 7, but have conceded an adidas trainer shoe for year 8. I am braced for a note home though.
I think the ones you have posted the heel will be the issue. Kickers are fine in our school although I see others have posted that some schools they are not ok.

Hiptothisjive · 31/08/2025 00:58

LunchtimeNaps · 30/08/2025 21:53

My DD school would not accept these because:

branded shoe
heel too high
patent

Ours also do not accept trainers.

Edited

Same here and totally agree. Not to mention no to the silver buckle thing.

These aren’t school shoes.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 31/08/2025 00:57

According to ASOS they’re a 2 1/2 inch heel.

youalright · 31/08/2025 00:55

I wore these in school didn't realise they where I fashion again

HappyHunting101 · 31/08/2025 00:51

You can't possibly think they are appropriate for an 11 year old in school. Crazy.

JustFrustrated · 31/08/2025 00:43

Heals and embellishment, definitely a no at my daughter schools - either of them.
Also air force ones wouldn't be allowed.

StressedOot3 · 31/08/2025 00:38

English schools seem sooooo strict compared to Scotland with their uniform/grooming policies, actually ridiculous.

clary · 31/08/2025 00:29

Yeh agree with everyone that these are shoes with a heel – not allowed in OP's and most schools IME. OP is now buying trainers but still protests that these look smarter and are advertised as school shoes – actually if you filter “girls’ school shoes” on that website they don’t appear. I’m not sure who would think this sort of heel was OK for an 11yo. I don’t think they look smart, more impractical.

Nike trainers were not allowed in the schools I worked in nor the schools my DC attended but clearly they are in some schools. Can you check @McSteamyorMcdreamy – have you been sent a list or a photo, or is there one on the website?

To answer some of the other queries – IME the hairband rule is to stop ridiculous hair attire like those JoJo bows that were in vogue a while ago. I recall a load of year 6s coming in for induction day wearing them and they were advised they would need something plainer – just for practicality tbh. Sometimes it’s easier for a school to specify something super plain rather than be vague. I highly doubt that a student was put in isolation for the colour of their hair bobble.

Same with lads’ hair – we used to have a ban on the patterns being shaved in. I think it’s more reasonable to do this on a case-by-case basis tbh.

MooFroo · 31/08/2025 00:22

They do literally say adults heeled loafers - that would indicate not suitable for an 11 year old school child

usedtobeaylis · 31/08/2025 00:20

I can't get past a school dictating the colour hair band never mind the shoes

RisingSunn · 31/08/2025 00:14

Bingbangboo · 30/08/2025 21:50

I have no idea but thanks for the nostalgic trip back to 1994!

Haha I literally said the same thing! They were the rage back then.

NoThanksNeeded · 31/08/2025 00:10

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 21:59

Policy says no heels or stiletto. I clearly have a different definition of heels and maybe I was being massively nostalgic when she chose them in the shop

Thankyou for your feedback DH is ordering AF1s as we speak and she can follow the herd as every alternate (less heel) I have showed her has been a no.

I just hate that trainers are more acceptable!!

I can't believe you don't class these as having a heel 🤣

Ginburee · 31/08/2025 00:07

Mine would be sent straight home in those, not appropriate at all I am afraid.

ShoveItUpYourArseMargaret · 31/08/2025 00:02

Yeah it's obviously the heals.

Jochef · 31/08/2025 00:02

Those are horrible shoes. School or not.
I love kickers, I wish they made them in a women’s 43.
but those are horrid.

Don’t you have a Clark’s where you live ?

Greysowhat · 30/08/2025 23:57

You just can't have ridiculous shoes in school

Lovethystupidneighbour · 30/08/2025 23:56

Jamesblonde2 · 30/08/2025 22:23

Wow, how do you think high heels are suitable? My God.

It really doesn’t warrant that dramatic reaction

DarkYearForMySoul · 30/08/2025 23:54

I’m sure someone else will have pointed it out (not west) but no 11yr old should be wearing heels, fashionable or not.
Kids feet are still growing, their bones will become deformed if specific enduring pressure is put on them. Heels put pressure on the metatarsal arch, it can even reverse. Please anyone considering ‘fashionable’ heels for a child, put the life long health of their feet first. Thank goodness schools would ban these.

Davros · 30/08/2025 23:54

My DBil had his own children’s shoe shop for 30+ years and says that trainers (good ones) are best for feet. Ditto a podiatrist I saw a few years ago, he said ASICS. So, regardless of being smart, they are better for feet according to the “experts” I have come across

DancyNancy · 30/08/2025 23:53

I know you're signing off this topic OP but I think you're wrongly assuming that the school thinks trainers look smarter.

I would guess it's to do with allowing comfort level for children who are walking to/from school and for everyone generally just in the shoes all day.

Better for posture and development.

Also safety as others have said, re heel height.

My dds school has similar policy, black Nike on most people. In my day I think started first year in 3inch platform type!! Yes, 90's lol. When I think of it. And I did twist my ankle badly one morning!!

sundayfundayclub · 30/08/2025 23:52

I wore very similar to school as a Yr 9/10 child but that was the 90s!

PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 23:49

JohnofWessex · 30/08/2025 22:53

I suggest that there are some school leadership teams in serious need of detention in a secure hospital.

I suggest that some of the statements about hair are probably open to a legal challenge both on Equalities and Reasonableness grounds

I suggest that there are some school leadership teams in serious need of detention in a secure hospital.

No, that's not OTT at all John.

Perfectly normal suggestion 😳🤣

FluffyBoob · 30/08/2025 23:49

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:34

The looks the looks...... I have literally just said I care about whether she is "smart".

If I wanted her to "look" fashionable I would have already purchased the £120 trainers.

Jesus Christ!

£70 deffo not £120
Stop arguing - you can't be strong and wrong

Thisgrillisonfire · 30/08/2025 23:45

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:44

I would like to say I don't care about how DD looks as in how she walks out the front door.....I find it odd that the school though thinks trainers are "smarter" than what she has.

Unacceptable (since my OP) clearly which I have 100% taken on board as per my PP.

Trainers are a 100% more appropriate than those high heels for an 11yr old. Ffs

Noshadelamp · 30/08/2025 23:45

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:44

I would like to say I don't care about how DD looks as in how she walks out the front door.....I find it odd that the school though thinks trainers are "smarter" than what she has.

Unacceptable (since my OP) clearly which I have 100% taken on board as per my PP.

Does the school say that trainers are "smarter" than high heeled loafers?

Do you honestly not understand that footwear is chosen or disallowed for more than just how they look.

You seem obsessed with looking "smart" which tbh is subjective, and completely missing the point that trainers are practical and leave little room for ambiguity.

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