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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Since when?

367 replies

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 21:40

Posting here for traffic.

My DD starts year 7 next week. Local secondary. Nothing fancy.

She and we are respectful of uniform policy and have purchased everything we need to. She looks bloody smart and we (and she) can't wait for her to start.

As 11 year old girls will do, they have tried their whole set up in front of their friends and all of them said the same thing:

"You will get sent home with those shoes"

They throw detentions out for the most minor of uniform infractions and DD is now having a massive anxiety spiral that she's going to get a detention or worse sent home 1st day because of her shoes.

I spoke to a friend who works in the school office and showed her a picture and her response was "oooh, I'm not sure. Air Force 1s are the best way to go"

Since when have trainers been a smarter, more acceptable form of shoe than a patent loafer??!!!

For full disclosure she has chosen the Kickers Edie loafer as in the link

https://www.kickers.co.uk/adult-women-edie-loafer-patent-leather-black/14913640.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK+-+Kickers+-+Search+-+Brand+-+Core+-+Broad&utm_term=kickers&utm_content=brand+-+Kickers&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=20162340688&gbraid=0AAAAADiNwZXHWpJ1LFmAfTE2drVjkEy8k&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwsrFBhD6ARIsAPnUFD1w_j6Ufhx1cfFv1a1fF0Ageht-fZYRGu_xo9ofOilAOdjE7KgGjEgaAoLrEALw_wcb

This school stipulates that hair past chin lemgth needs to be in a ponytail with a hair band that is the closest colour to the individuals hair colour, yet believes that a trainer is smarter/more acceptable than the loafer.

AIBU here?! I know trainers are more acceptable these days but are they really considered smarter considering how rigid they are on the smaller items?!

Kickers GB

Shop Adult Women Edie Loafer Patent Leather Black online with Kickers. Find this and more here.

https://www.kickers.co.uk/adult-women-edie-loafer-patent-leather-black/14913640.html?gad_campaignid=20162340688&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADiNwZXHWpJ1LFmAfTE2drVjkEy8k&gclid=Cj0KCQjwwsrFBhD6ARIsAPnUFD1w_j6Ufhx1cfFv1a1fF0Ageht-fZYRGu_xo9ofOilAOdjE7KgGjEgaAoLrEALw_wcb&gclsrc=aw.ds

OP posts:
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10
PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 22:27

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:22

Because the school will stipulate what colour hair band they can wear, but find trainers acceptable. I don't understand that.

I have taken onboard that the shoes we have got are wrong.

Yet I still stand by the fact that (irrespective of the height) the still look bloody smarter than a trainer

Again with the looks though?

It's a school, not a modelling academy.

AntiBullshit · 30/08/2025 22:27

The heals are ridiculous

Screenager · 30/08/2025 22:26

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:07

Again, thanks for all your feedback.

I stand by the fact that she still looks bloody smarter in them than a pair of bloody trainers!

She’ll be more
comfortable though.

SeptaUnellasBell · 30/08/2025 22:25

TeenLifeMum · 30/08/2025 22:24

I did in year 11 but I wouldn’t have got away with it in year 7.

They were either kickers or Pods and all looked like that! All the way through school at mine! The boys all wore Rockports!

TeenLifeMum · 30/08/2025 22:24

SeptaUnellasBell · 30/08/2025 22:23

Most people wore shoes like that at school in the 90s and I don’t remember everyone dying from academic failure however, schools today like to execute power like Henry the 8th for no other reason than that they can. So, yeah, she’s probably gonna have an issue at school.

I did in year 11 but I wouldn’t have got away with it in year 7.

SeptaUnellasBell · 30/08/2025 22:23

Most people wore shoes like that at school in the 90s and I don’t remember everyone dying from academic failure however, schools today like to execute power like Henry the 8th for no other reason than that they can. So, yeah, she’s probably gonna have an issue at school.

Jamesblonde2 · 30/08/2025 22:23

Wow, how do you think high heels are suitable? My God.

TeenLifeMum · 30/08/2025 22:23

There’s a lot of options between airforce 1s and massive chunky heels. Just flat black school shoes. In DDs’ school they’re not allowed trainers but the nearby school does allow them but it’s mostly the boys who wear them. Maybe that’s just our area.

Screenager · 30/08/2025 22:23

Both of my dc wear airforces for school. I think it’s great that the school allow black trainers. We do live rurally though and the roads get muddy from the tractors. Most of the school grounds is grass or woodland too

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:22

PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 22:10

Why are you so overstruck on how children should look versus what's safe and practical?

She could break her ankle running in those things.

Because the school will stipulate what colour hair band they can wear, but find trainers acceptable. I don't understand that.

I have taken onboard that the shoes we have got are wrong.

Yet I still stand by the fact that (irrespective of the height) the still look bloody smarter than a trainer

OP posts:
HippoStraw · 30/08/2025 22:21

It’s a safety issue. Over cautious perhaps, but schools have to be.

IGaveSoManySigns · 30/08/2025 22:19

Fragmentedbrain · 30/08/2025 22:18

Why would a school waste everyone's time by trying to send kids home for wearing these shoes? And what if parents are yknow at fecking work ?

Because there are standards of uniform and you need to obey them.

TheGreatWesternShrew · 30/08/2025 22:19

OP that’s not a loafer.. those are high heels. Of course they’re not allowed they’re about 3 inches high!

Get flat loafers.

Fragmentedbrain · 30/08/2025 22:18

Why would a school waste everyone's time by trying to send kids home for wearing these shoes? And what if parents are yknow at fecking work ?

sparkleghost · 30/08/2025 22:18

Zippidydoodah · 30/08/2025 21:46

Too high but we all had those exact ones in the nineties!

I was going to say, I’m pretty sure I had that exact same pair in high school 😬 Your DD has great taste if nothing else OP!!

NoHunsHereHun · 30/08/2025 22:17

Those are heels and completely ridiculous for an 11yo. DD going into Y10 wouldn’t be allowed to wear shoes that style, not that I’d even buy them for her. AF1s are also banned but more likely to slip through.

Rumplestiltz · 30/08/2025 22:16

They are not high heels! Yes ok not allowed under school policy etc but I have always found a shoe with a heel like that far more comfortable and supportive than flats. So stop all the - your DD won’t be able to walk from A to B etc. of course she will, but yes, you probably have to change them.

SunnyD4ys · 30/08/2025 22:11

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 21:59

Policy says no heels or stiletto. I clearly have a different definition of heels and maybe I was being massively nostalgic when she chose them in the shop

Thankyou for your feedback DH is ordering AF1s as we speak and she can follow the herd as every alternate (less heel) I have showed her has been a no.

I just hate that trainers are more acceptable!!

Eh? Please do post a picture of what you think a heel on a shoe is, how is what you linked not a high heeled shoe? I don't have any children wearing school uniform at the moment but drive past 100s of children walking to school onu way to work and all of the girls wear flat shoes. When I was at school we all wore shoes like your link but times have changed massively

TomatoSandwiches · 30/08/2025 22:11

My daughters school policy is, shoes that cover the whole foot (no Mary Janes) made of material that can be polished, no high heels, black and no obvious logo.

PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 22:10

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:07

Again, thanks for all your feedback.

I stand by the fact that she still looks bloody smarter in them than a pair of bloody trainers!

Why are you so overstruck on how children should look versus what's safe and practical?

She could break her ankle running in those things.

McSteamyorMcdreamy · 30/08/2025 22:07

Again, thanks for all your feedback.

I stand by the fact that she still looks bloody smarter in them than a pair of bloody trainers!

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 30/08/2025 22:07

Why are you letting her buy such high shoes? They are really bad for her feet and her back.

IGaveSoManySigns · 30/08/2025 22:06

PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 22:06

And yet you quoted it??

No, what I mean is, fucks sake, I fell for it

PennySweeet · 30/08/2025 22:06

IGaveSoManySigns · 30/08/2025 22:05

Oh, fucks sake 🤦🏼‍♀️

And yet you quoted it??

Weekmindedfool · 30/08/2025 22:06

Obviously it’s the heel, which you know is the issue OP.