Giving up gossip

I can strongly relate to the people pleasing element. I’m not a gossip and people don’t share gossip with me but I know exactly what you mean as I do it in the workplace all the time

I don't gossip.

I think if someone bitches to you about someone they will definitely also be doing it about you. That put me right off doing it myself as i just realised what a horrible characteristic it ism

If i have something to say I'll say it to the person. Or more usually just let it go.

This was something I used to struggle with too. I am also ND and a people pleaser. If the group I was with was indulging in gossip then I went along with it.
I used to feel awful though as they would say some untrue and horrid things about people. Or talk about things that were not really a great thing to be talking about. One time someone was talking in great detail about the finances of someone who was not there. I cut in and said that I didnt think it was an appropriate thing to be discussing.
My tactic now is to just try and veer the topic to something else. But it can be hard sometimes.
I found that some people do nothing but talk about others. It is like they have nothing else going on in their lives to talk about. So I no longer see those people.

I never gossip, never have. I genuinely don’t care enough to get involved. Colleagues don’t bother trying to involve me because I don’t have the mental energy to care? I’m just totally uninterested.

I’ve found that having quite strong boundaries and making it clear from the outset that I’ve got no skin in the game means that people get bored of trying to gossip with me. Might be worth a go?

I genuinely don't gossip, I'm of the thinking if a person wants someone to know something they'll be telling them themselves. Some things are just not our story to tell.

I appreciate that this in itself could be seen as a form of gossip

Some form?

You're sitting there listening to all the gossip and encouraging it by agreeing.

That's like saying you don't agree with fighting but you're happy to stand round in a circle and watch two people slugging it out.

Either walk away, or if they say "Don't you agree?" just say "No, not really" and leave it at that.

Gossips tend to dislike people not agreeing with them, so stick to that line and you're unlikely to be drawn into it again.

I'm not an actively gossipy person, but I am a people pleaser.

This is honestly what most people say to excuse their gossiping!

There's always an excuse that they'll offer in the guise of a reason.

Just try to switch your mind off and/or put yourself in the shoes of the person being gossiped about.

Ask yourself how you'd feel if it were you.

My friend gave up gossiping for Lent one year. She said it meant she wouldn’t be able to see me until after Easter. That really made me think & I have tried not to gossip since. I find it hard though. I do love a good bit of gossip.