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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

110 replies

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 30/08/2025 23:10

I think I'd be telling him what he did is a dumping offence, just to cement it into his brain.

He doesn't sound as if he has a clue. But he'll have to learn

Original poster

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:00

Ive told him he has a week to change his ways and start looking after the dog or shes going to have to go. He admitted he has no clue what to do with a puppy as hes never actually had to deal with one, it was his ex that raised his elderly dog, who passed a few years ago and i did all the training with mine.
Also told him im going to write him a daily schedule to follow.

As for not letting the parrot out, he said he forgot which i dont find acceptable, the parrot has his own room and it would have taken him seconds to open his door.

We have been together many years and ive never known him to act this way, he loves animals and they love him. Although now im starting to think he only loves the fun parts of them...
After today im starting to see him in a different light. I can hardly look at him, i just feel so let down and disappointed and lied to.

He has apologised and is now sleeping on the settee with alarms set to take her out for the toilet, but the damage has already been done.

OP posts:

Tink3rbell30 · 30/08/2025 22:18

Why are you more concerned about 'getting rid' of an innocent animal than a useless human being that neglects animals?

Silverbirchleaf · 30/08/2025 22:15

FattyMcFattyArse · 30/08/2025 22:11

I voted yabu for the original question because I think instead of telling him to rehome the pup, you should give him an ultimatum to look after it first. But an equally valid option is getting rid of him and keeping the pup.

Although to be fair, a griwn man, who wanted a puppy, shouldn’t really telling.

OneNaiceSnail · 30/08/2025 22:15

Your parents a fucking prick. And so are you if you stay with him and have your child witness him abusing animals. Contact the breeder and tell them what’s happening. That puppy would be dead within weeks if not days if you weren’t there

FattyMcFattyArse · 30/08/2025 22:11

gillefc82 · 30/08/2025 22:11

Firstly, reach out to the breeder of the puppy and see if they are willing to take them back (any reputable breeder would be) and make sure that precious pup goes to live somewhere where it will be safe, happy, healthy, cared for, wanted and loved.

Secondly, and most importantly, dump this useless, flaccid ballsack of a man and don’t look back!

FancyBiscuitsLevel · 30/08/2025 21:44

id advise him to send the puppy back to breeder as he’s not done basic care for said puppy, but as if also say this was the end of my relationship, what he does with his dog when he lives elsewhere would not be my concern. Just he has to go within a week and the dog goes too, either with him or back to breeder.

Im sorry but there’s no way j could be with a man this useless.

WhereAreMyKids · 30/08/2025 21:42

Puppy goes back to breeder toot sweet.

DoubtfulCat · 30/08/2025 21:41

Why does he even want a puppy?

You sound great, but this dude? No. What does he bring to your lives, in all seriousness? He’s too lazy to uncover a parrot and walk & feed his and your dogs? Is he letting them shit all over your house? This is not ok, and yes, you should probably take the puppy back to her breeder because she’s going to be neglected- but please ask the hard questions about this man too. Is he an asset in your life or just there?

Userengage · 30/08/2025 21:40

I bet he’s shit at parenting too. Rehome the puppy; you cannot cope with another dog and he doesn’t deserve one.

Buildingthefuture · 30/08/2025 21:39

Keep the puppy, get rid of the dickhead. DH and I have a lot of animals that we are both equally responsible for and capable of taking care of.
If I came home at 1pm and he hadn’t fed them? Unless he was literally incapacitated ( two broken legs incapacitated with no ability to let me know) I would honestly jettison him from my life. It’s cruelty and neglect on a scale I will not accept.

ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay · 30/08/2025 21:34

YANBU, but get rid of him while you're at it. He's lazy and that only leads to resentment in a relationship IME.

Jumpingthruhoops · 30/08/2025 21:33

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

As always, first post nails it.

Agree. I'd be getting rid of him before the puppy!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 30/08/2025 21:30

I think there is something not right with someone who can leave animals like this. what was His excuse? I'd be reconsidering the entire relationship

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 30/08/2025 21:29

Respectfully, WHY are you with this idiot?

Lavender14 · 30/08/2025 21:27

I would actually just get rid of him.

Anyone who can shirk their responsibilities to the point of neglecting a living animal wouldn't appeal to me as a partner in the slightest.

reversegear · 30/08/2025 21:25

Yuck maybe cover him up all day and dont fed him. In answer to your question, back to the breeder for a better life is maybe best.

wrongthinker · 30/08/2025 21:25

I would absolutely kick him out. He's neglectful and abusive. I don't think I would be happy with him keeping the puppy either, given how neglectful he is. What a scumbag.

Grow123 · 30/08/2025 21:24

Do you live together?

Plmnki · 30/08/2025 21:23

Keep the puppy, get rid of him, he is vile.

Concretejungle1 · 30/08/2025 21:19

He’d be gone. I would not look the same way at a bloke who mistreated our animals. There is no excuse for not feeding, giving water to your pets, your poor parrot! ( was it fed?)
Where the poor dogs walked?
he’d be gone and i’d keep the pup. I don’t say it lightly. I could never feel the same way.

Itiswhysofew · 30/08/2025 21:15

What was his excuse for not caring for them? That's really awful. Who would take the puppy? It's his, so he has to deal with that, but I couldn't tolerate someone who doesn't care enough to even meet the basic needs of their little friend.

smallslyfox · 30/08/2025 21:09

How can you bring yourself to sleep with a man who can't even be arsed to feed a dog? Ew.

rumred · 30/08/2025 21:08

What a vile human he is. How on earth can you be attracted to such a selfish arsehole? Poor animals.

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