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Original poster

AIBU suggesting partner get rid of his new puppy

110 replies

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

OP posts:
JFDIYOLO · 31/08/2025 10:14

Yes get rid. Of the cruel, neglectful, irresponsible, selfish bastard you have allowed into to your and your poor pets' life.

And I'd be keeping the puppy.

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:07

Also told him I'm going to write him a daily schedule to follow.

Why? This just shows how irresponsible he is, before even getting the puppy he should have done his research on what needs doing with them so he could prepare himself.
How has he not fed the puppy? Has he asked you to do it, have you offered, have you just done it whilst feeding your own? Does he even know if the pup has eaten more than once in the time he’s had them

WildFlowerBees · 31/08/2025 09:51

Dump him, keep the animals.

anytipswelcome · 31/08/2025 09:50

Are you really sexually attracted to someone who is cruel to animals OP? I can’t get my head around it.

AcquadiP · 31/08/2025 09:43

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 19:41

Hi all, a bit of backstory. My partner has been wanting to get a puppy for a while. I already have an elderly dog and an almost 2 year old puppy. I dont have a problem with him getting any animal he wants, as long as he looks after it. We talked for a few months and he agreed he would do the majority of work with new pup, just as i have mine.
I have recently gone back into education and have to be up for 5.30 to get myself ready before getting daughter ready for school and running for the train so i dont want to be up all hours house training a new pup. I also have a physical disability that has worsened over the years so i cant bend down to pick things up without being in pain.

Fast forward to last week, partner found his perfect dog. She is beautiful and so loving BUT since having his perfect dog, partner is yet to do anything with her. In the time she had been with us, he's fed her once. The rest of the times have been left to me, including the playing and walking etc...

Last night me and my daughter went to my sisters for a girly sleepover before school starts. I offered to take the dogs with me but partner insisted he could take care of them. I left around 7pm so they were all sorted for the night. Today i got home at around 1pm, the parrot had'nt been uncovered and let out and non of the dogs had been fed. The pup is on 3 meals a day. Meaning shes only had 2.

So my question is aibu to tell him to get rid?

To note* i do not agree with getting animals and selling them. I just dont know what to do, my schedule is already so busy without adding a puppy to the mix.

I'd be rehoming your partner the lazy, cruel twat.

OfftoWorkIGo · 31/08/2025 09:43

What’s he doing today? He could spend some time doing research on how to look after a puppy.

Like a pp, my dc did that herself when we got a pet. She got a book from the library, researched online and she knows every single thing about the pet and how to care for it which she does happily.

Is he one of those who lies around spending most of his time on his phone? Now he’s got something productive to do.

PotNoodleBeefAndTomato · 31/08/2025 09:37

You have gone back into education? Well how about you educate yourself in looking after animals. Unbelievable attitude you have thinking about telling your partner to “get rid” because looking after them is proving to be too much of a commitment and it’s all a bit inconvenient. How about you support your partner to look after the animals. If you can’t do that then pay someone to help. Animals are living beings with feelings of their own. If you decide to “get rid” of that “beautiful loving” puppy then do so responsibly. Make sure you get her speyed so she can’t be used as a breeding machine. There’s a chance she will be passed onto unscrupulous people (puppy farm / BYB) and could live a miserable existence and if that happens then that’s on you!

PullTheBricksDown · 31/08/2025 09:29

gamerchick · 31/08/2025 09:21

Until 1pm though?

Well I hope he gets on the beam quickly before puppy gets attached. But I get the impression hes a bit like a kid, someone else does all the hard work.

Show quote history

Yes, what was he actually doing all this time? Whatever it was, it doesn't sound like it makes him a good person to live with.

If you do kick him out, make sure yourself the puppy is returned to the breeder rather than sending her away with him. She won't have a good life with him ☹️

gamerchick · 31/08/2025 09:21

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:24

He was asleep downstairs with the pup. The door to the garden was open and most of the dogs inside toys were strewn across the garden.

Show quote history

Until 1pm though?

Well I hope he gets on the beam quickly before puppy gets attached. But I get the impression hes a bit like a kid, someone else does all the hard work.

Blueblell · 31/08/2025 09:15

I don’t think this was ever going to work, you already have two dogs so eventually he will think she might as well be feeding and walking my puppy at the same time. Although puppy’s are like baby’s in the beginning and need quite a schedule of care. Is he really prepared and able to do this?

Lotsofsnacks · 31/08/2025 09:14

Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:00

Ive told him he has a week to change his ways and start looking after the dog or shes going to have to go. He admitted he has no clue what to do with a puppy as hes never actually had to deal with one, it was his ex that raised his elderly dog, who passed a few years ago and i did all the training with mine.
Also told him im going to write him a daily schedule to follow.

As for not letting the parrot out, he said he forgot which i dont find acceptable, the parrot has his own room and it would have taken him seconds to open his door.

We have been together many years and ive never known him to act this way, he loves animals and they love him. Although now im starting to think he only loves the fun parts of them...
After today im starting to see him in a different light. I can hardly look at him, i just feel so let down and disappointed and lied to.

He has apologised and is now sleeping on the settee with alarms set to take her out for the toilet, but the damage has already been done.

Omg what a prat; no clue what to do with a puppy?!! Why get one then. Before I got my dog I spent hours researching online on what to do, asking dog owner friends questions about what they did!!! It’s not hard!! He’s irresponsible. Hes thinking you will pick up the hard work part of it and he’ll just swan in for puppy cuddles, looking like fun dog dad 🤪

OfftoWorkIGo · 31/08/2025 09:05

He needs to set an alarm to tell him when to let the dog out to the toilet? What about feeding the dogs? Does he need an alarm for that too as he ‘forgot’ to feed three dogs when you went out?

I am actually shocked by your op. What was he doing that was so important that he didn’t feed the dogs? I assume he fed himself.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/08/2025 08:53

He admitted he has no clue what to do with a puppy as hes never actually had to deal with one

I'm glad you've spoken to him about it but I'm deeply suspicious of this.

He's observed his ex care for a (HIS) puppy. More recently he's observed you care for a puppy. I can see he might have missed some detail but he should have a broad idea of the work involved. And that should cover feeding and toileting at regular intervals at the very least.

Agree with PP, it's not for you to write him a schedule. He can do his own fucking homework. Add to your list - vets appointments scheduled for vaccinations & neutering, and booking puppy training classes.

Swiftie1878 · 31/08/2025 08:51

Surely you realise you are asking completely the wrong question?

Dozer · 31/08/2025 08:26

‘going to write him a daily schedule to follow’

Don’t do that. He wanted this and is an adult, he should do the thinking and other work.

You say his behaviour is a surprise, but is it really, or did you just ignore the evidence? Does he consistently pull his weight with domestic work, as a step parent, help out in practical ways with your animals?

Even if your DP was caring for the pup as he should it was still poor judgment IMO on your part to agree when as a household you have DC, two dogs and a parrot already. Also starting study and a disability affected by the physical demands of pet care.

WasThatACorner · 31/08/2025 08:19

My 9 year old has just got 2 kittens and researched everything that they need, feeds them, plays with them, argues it's not fair that I do the litter tray, plans and builds enrichment activities for them.

Your partner is useless.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 31/08/2025 08:15

Bet your parrot is more devastated about living in a cage rather than the wild

Oh, you know nothing 😆 She spends most of her time out of the cage but does go in it at night.

Original poster
Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:40

InterestedDad37 · 30/08/2025 23:26

You lost me at 'parrot in a cage'. It's just wrong 🦜

Hes a captive bred bird, he isnt built for the wild. He has a cage to sleep in on a night, through the day he is free range.

Parrots are like toddlers and need a routine or they get moody, if he was left to his own devices then i would likely have a very angry bird and unlike toddlers they have very large strong beaks...

OP posts:
WellThisIsFranklyDreadful · 30/08/2025 23:34

Ditch the partner, keep the dog

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 23:30

Rhubarbandgooseburycrumble · 30/08/2025 19:44

I’d be dumping the partner, hate anyone that’s cruel and neglectful to animals.

Keep the poor puppy, lose the selfish, pathetic, despicable man child.

InterestedDad37 · 30/08/2025 23:26

You lost me at 'parrot in a cage'. It's just wrong 🦜

EmeraldShamrock000 · 30/08/2025 23:26

Yanbu, he's irresponsible.

Original poster
Unsure333 · 30/08/2025 23:24

gamerchick · 30/08/2025 23:11

I don't understand what he was doing to be able to ignore multiple animals making their feelings known though.

He was asleep downstairs with the pup. The door to the garden was open and most of the dogs inside toys were strewn across the garden.

OP posts:
Deadringer · 30/08/2025 23:15

He is a lazy, selfish, cruel, piece of shit. Ditch him.

gamerchick · 30/08/2025 23:11

I don't understand what he was doing to be able to ignore multiple animals making their feelings known though.