To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

There’s a HUGE difference between having consensual sex and pleasuring yourself, shaking the bed, heavy breathing next to your SLEEPING SPOUSE.

This thread is fucking grim.

Good for you. But this isn’t about you. This thread is about the OP who clearly states she feels it’s disrespectful and doesn’t like him doing it next to her whilst she sleeps.

Why on earth would you read the OP, it’s in black and white she dislikes it, and yet you say “give him a wee flash or help out”.

Fucking gross to give that type of “advice” to another woman. is time going backwards? Are women just here to serve men’s sexual needs?

I can just imagine her in the cupboard under the stairs contorting herself into the tiny misshapen room , "think Jessica! THINK! This is your scheduled masturbation time and place ! . Ok...ok, next doors gardener with his floppy hair and Cupid's arrow! Come on make it quick ! "

I think I would rather that than him waiting until the minute I leave the house.

"Disgusting", "grim", "gross" ???? It might be annoying if you were woken up, sure, but "disgusting"? Don't you have sex with the man who shares your bed? Doesn't he ever come?

Where would you like him to do it?

My DH would and does find it incredibly sexy waking up to find me masturbating. What could be sexier than watching your wife pleasure herself? Really odd opinions on this thread.

You never done it secretly next to him? Really?

If anyone is thinking about their DH/DW during masturbation after umpteen years - they deserve a very special place in heaven indeed 🤭

Depends on your attitude and marriage. I would have no problem with that, I love my husband, our sex life is good considering he's had prostate cancer and he can do whatever he feels that he needs. End of.

Do you feel the same the other way round? Where do you masturbate then? Genuine question. It’s the only bloody time I have!

Nothing actually- I’ve done exactly that on multiple occasions?

I would not like it. It is a private thing unless it’s mutual or the other person WANTS to join in. It’s not ok that he does this if you feel uncomfortable.

Why would you say that?

I’d be pissed off if I was sleeping soundly and was woken up by anything/anyone - I like me sleep! But I don’t have a problem with masturbation in bed - DH and I both do it. Sometimes individually and sometimes together. Usually when we go to bed and before we go to sleep but sometimes you do wake up in the middle of the night and the urge takes you.

To be honest, I don't think it's that bad of an offence.

Far better to relieve himself than bother me for sex in the middle of the night.

He's scratching an itch. He probably didn't mean to wake you. If he had the phone light blaring on with porn on - bit different.

Calling him disgusting and a pig and grim is a bit man-hatey.

I wonder if the difference in response is also a low vs high sex drive thing.

I have a high sex drive so let’s hop on.

I’m guessing those with the low sex drives are more put off by it.

It doesn't sound great when you put it like that but I admit I'm guilty of using my vibrator next to him when I've woken in the night and been unable to sleep so I can't be a hypocrite.

Yep agreed...Its a natural thing especially if there's a difference in sex drive. I wouldn't expect my hubby to hide away like a naughty school boy to relieve himself. I'd just roll over and go back to sleep if he woke me up or get involved if I was in the mood 👌. But ultimately it's about what your happy with OP...you just need to talk to your hubby about how you feel.

That is exactly what I thought. It would make me feel sexy and I'd give him a hand .... in a manner of speaking.....whilst sitting up and slowly taking my nightclothes off. I can't stop thinking about it now and that's not right at my age :-). Be nice and gentle, op, and speak softly.

Really?

Do we? So is your assumption that all women who masterbate only do it thinking of their partner?

Even if they arent so what.

Same but we are in the minority

I don't think this is about 'low standards' of those he feel differently than the OP. That's pretty judgemental.

This thread shows widely different opinions- I think what it highlights ia the need to communicate with your partner so you are on the same page about it.

It's not objectively 'grim' or 'low standard' or equally 'something to watch'

Jesus Christ this is the most pathetic cringiest comment on here.

THE WOMAN WANTS TO SLEEP AND NOT BE DISTURBED!!!!!