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AIBU?

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Original poster

To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

364 replies

justabigdisco · 30/08/2025 18:30

I was woken last night by the bed shaking and my husband heavy breathing. I asked him WTF he was doing and he said ‘just trying to get comfy in bed’ however it was clear he was wanking next to me while I slept. There have been other episodes where I’ve been woken up and thought ‘is he…?’ but never been sure until last night.

I haven’t said anything to him yet but have been thinking about it all day. He has a higher sex drive than me and I know this frustrates him, but AIBU to find it a bit gross and disrespectful?

OP posts:
BigBoots67 · 30/08/2025 18:36

You know, everyone has their own boundaries and if it makes you uncomfortable then , it does. I can see both sides. But the bottom line is, does he know you are uncomfortable? The fact he covered it up seems to read that he does .

citygirl77 · 30/08/2025 18:36

Whatado · 30/08/2025 18:34

I would have no issue with it at all. We have kids so I wouldn't want him doing it in the shared areas of the house in case they wandered in and I dont particularly want to do it in the en suite so I dont expect him to.

Besides Im asleep and if I wake up its nothing I haven't seen before and no I don't find masterbation gross or disrespectful.

Can’t be do it in the shower, with the door locked? Then he can clean himself and the sheets stay clean….

Coldnightsapproachingwhereismyduvet · 30/08/2025 18:36

Wanking is a private encounter.. As in bathroom or home alone...

SaratogaFilly · 30/08/2025 18:35

TheCurious0range · 30/08/2025 18:33

I think someone carrying out a sexual act in the same bed as you requires consent, he doesn't have yours and that's why you feel off about it

This - seems grim to me especially if it woke you up.

SummerEve · 30/08/2025 18:35

TheCurious0range · 30/08/2025 18:33

I think someone carrying out a sexual act in the same bed as you requires consent, he doesn't have yours and that's why you feel off about it

So he needs her consent to masturbate? Controlling, much?

whitewineandsun · 30/08/2025 18:34

I honestly don't see the problem. It's his bed too, and you were sleeping. But you're bound to get support. People on here seem to think men should hide away in the bathroom like teenage boys.

SarahLHs · 30/08/2025 18:34

Not unreasonable. I’d be disgusted.

Whatado · 30/08/2025 18:34

I would have no issue with it at all. We have kids so I wouldn't want him doing it in the shared areas of the house in case they wandered in and I dont particularly want to do it in the en suite so I dont expect him to.

Besides Im asleep and if I wake up its nothing I haven't seen before and no I don't find masterbation gross or disrespectful.

SummerEve · 30/08/2025 18:34

KimberleyClark · 30/08/2025 18:31

He’s a disrespectful pig, sorry.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this. Why is it disrespectful? It certainly doesn't make him a pig.

TheCurious0range · 30/08/2025 18:33

I think someone carrying out a sexual act in the same bed as you requires consent, he doesn't have yours and that's why you feel off about it

Original poster
justabigdisco · 30/08/2025 18:33

Twizzletoe · 30/08/2025 18:31

Why shouldn’t he be comfortable?

Because I’m lying there next to him, sleeping?

OP posts:
GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 30/08/2025 18:32

Woken by him wanking?
Grim.

KimberleyClark · 30/08/2025 18:31

He’s a disrespectful pig, sorry.

Twizzletoe · 30/08/2025 18:31

Why shouldn’t he be comfortable?

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