To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

I would have no issue with the masturbation but waking me up is problematic. If the house is not on fire then don’t wake me

I guess the issue is it woke you up.

It’s one of those weird line crossing things. Because it’s his bed too and if he wants a wank he should but also it’s your bed too.

Then again I’ve never caught dh wanking and I’m sure he must somewhere at some point despite his why would I comments, Maybe it’s at work who knows. Maybe his just never woken me up

Yes this. I have no problem with my partner doing this at all. But in a shared space when I’m trying to sleep?! 😑 Eww, no, no.

Both DP and I will do this on occasion, if we're lying there awake because we can't sleep, a quick orgasm can help us drift off. Getting out of bed to go do it in a cold bathroom would really defeat the point.

I wouldn't do it if DP was bothered by it, but I've never thought to ask her, I presume she feels the same given that she does the same thing.

Personally, I don't really get why having your partner that you love masturbating in bed next to you would bother you, but if it does, you really need to tell him.

You should probably talk to him then, instead of making a thread so woman on the Internet can call him disgusting?

Ugh OP that sounds disgusting! What is the matter with men that they have to do this when in bed with their partner hoping she won't notice?

I've done this loads, wouldn't occur to me to have to wake up my husband to run it past him first. I think if you've already got a lower sex drive than him then you've got to let him have something, If he was pestering you I could see the issue, but honestly I don't get why it's grim. You have sex and oral sex in this bed, why is wanking so private and disgusting - have people really not watched their OH before?

Why? She clearly has sex with him at other times.

Most sensible reply so far.

Could give him a wee flash or help out?

I'm on the fence tbh. I'd be pissed off in your shoes because I want more sex and would be upset if he was wanking and not involving me. However, if his sex drive is much higher than yours and you're not feeling hard done by (sorry!) I guess it's not that awful a thought to me in principle. That said, I'd certainly prefer him to be on his own or elsewhere. Wouldn't want to wake up to it! If you've woken up to it and been grossed out, he needs to not do it while you're asleep next to him. I'd maybe talk about it and see what happens in future, if he made a habit of it despite you stating you didn't like it, that would be far worse.

Of course. Did I suggest it wouldn't?

I’m totally okay with my DH masturbating but I also find it disrespectful and annoying on the occasions when he woke me up in exactly the way you described. It made me freeze and feel really uncomfortable, and I told him I wanted him to stop. He hasn’t done it since. Masturbation is normal and healthy but you are allowed to not want to be woken and surprised by it happening right next to you without your knowledge or consent.

And does the same apply the other way around?

I'd watch 😉

If he's right next to her then yes, he probably does need to check she's ok with it.

Im sure he can. I wouldn't be getting up to do it at night if I was already in bed.

As you this post has already shown people have very different views. I find some the laungage immature and pretty sexually repressed to be honest. As others find it disgusting and gross.

Clearly you both have different views on sexual expression, boundaries as well as sex drives.

And that means your husband has your consent which is fine. Not everyone has to consent to the same things and if OP doesn't like it he should respect that

Youre free to like / dislike whatever you chose.

This wouldn't bother everyone tho.

Let the man wank in his own bed, I say.

Grim.

YANBU

Eww 😷

Exactly this.