To dislike my husband masturbating in bed?

Wtf

I think there are a few men on this thread, that have not had a successful relationship with a woman @BettysRoasties @MemorableTrenchcoat

As I say rather than have to ask and get permission or be told to go to the bathroom I would just move into a different bedroom personally.

Yes it would be. It's her own body and her own choice.

Agree.🙄
Obtuse or what?
The issue is being woken.🙄

Apologists, lol.

I couldn't get worked up about this. Though I'd definitely nod back off quickly and not let him know I was awake. I can barely be arsed to get involved when I am brimming with energy...middle of the night no chance.

This is where it depends if she is in the mood.

No, it's the kind of thing that should be established in advance. If they have had sex a few times, they should have an idea whether she would be OK with it. It's telling that he felt embarrassed about telling her about it and lied. That tells me he either didn't think she would like it or had no idea.

He shouldn't have done it if he thought she wouldn't like it or just didn't know. There were other options. And given she thinks it's happened before, he had had time to broach the subject. My partner and i have talked about these boundaries and what's OK.

I think it's preferable to wank than go elsewhere, as he can't get enough sex from his wife.

I thought that. Join in, op, you take over, slowly and gently. It could make you feel very sexy, in command and be really nice.

In my mind wanking is like using toilet - should really be done in private. It creates all kind of thoughts and feelings that are not helpful in a relationship. I bet he would not like waking up seeing you having a wank.

Apart from the bit about being sent to the bathroom, this seems to be about the size of it.

That op has a lower sex drive so isn’t up for it as much as him? That his prob done it before without waking her up ?

I feel like you’ve added a few things to your version of the OP here that change the tone of the conversation entirely.

This

Doesn’t bother me - but what matters is it bothers you.

He’s got a higher sex drive and gets stick for ‘managing’things when he thinks she’s asleep. He’s supposed to wake her and ask her if she agrees for him to wank in the middle of the night? If I were him( I’m a woman) I’d want my own room.

Erm, imo i would be upset as I have quite a high sex drive so would want to be involved. Its his bed too and if you are asleep, he is in a private area and is taking part in an act for himself. I suppose where else would he go? Living room? Bathroom? I would want to go to sleep afterwards so bed makes sense.

Nah this wouldn't bother me. DH can crack one out if he likes as long as he doesn't spaff all over me in the process.

Don't tell me you have 'never had a walk in the bush down under' while you are in bed next to your sleeping DH? 😜

My wife doesn’t really want sex. She was asleep and I felt the urge so I just tried to have a crafty wank to then finally doze off. Unfortunately she woke up this one time, normally she doesn’t and she’s read me the riot act about how I should go stand in the cold bathroom. Aibu.

Well maybe change wife to husband and wonder how the response would go.

My husband doesn’t really want sex. He was asleep and I felt the urge so I just tried to have a crafty wank to then finally doze off. Unfortunately he woke up this one time, normally he doesn’t and he read me the riot act about how I should go stand in the cold bathroom. Aibu.

Probably get his having an affair if he doesn’t want sex, send him to see a doctor must be something wrong with him like low testosterone if he doesn’t want sex. LTB orgasms help sleep and happy
hormones.

It’s disgusting and I can’t believe how many apologists are saying you should have given him a “flash” or whatever. Gross. You are not a sex doll, he is not a monkey and he presumably has (a) some self control, somewhere, and (b) the brainpower to find a private place to wank other than next to your unconscious body. He’s too embarrassed to apologise for it but not too embarrassed to jerk off somewhere else. I would feel violated by this - YANBU.

I'd find it odd they did it in front of me. As I'd hope they'd want to do stuff with me rather than alone if I was available. But you were asleep. I don't think wanking is gross though. He is in his own bed too.

The pearl clutching on this thread is hilarious. 😂

If he wasn't OK with it, then it wouldn't be OK

It's fine if your partner knows it is fine. Both camps are right. But those that don't see the problem have presumably communicated that at some point. Making it not two camps but one of communication