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Original poster

Would you stay in the cellar or in a hotel room

165 replies

Cellarorhotel · 30/08/2025 18:06

Dh and I have distanced ourselves from his family for various reasons but we now have a newborn (5 months old in december) and it is his grandfather's birthday in December. He is 93 so likely to be his last. He has always loved his grandchildren and is very excited about any great grandchild. MIL (his daughter) has 4 kids and 3 kids plus partners will be there including us

There are 3 bedrooms plus a cellar where there is a sofa bed. Bedroom 1 is for DH's grandpa, MIL shares a room with single daughter. So last bedroom up for grabs. The last time we were there 2 years ago during fhe same time, it was occupied by sister no 2 and her fiancee. DH's married sister and her husband plus her MIL plus 1 year old stayed at a nearby hotel in 1 room (don't ask me why her MIL tagged along).

We usually book a hotel room but in my early married years we stayed in fhe cellar. I didn't mind it as we were young and skint and didn't have a baby. However that was only for 1 year as we always had enough money that we didn't think much of booking a local hotel for 2 weeks. We had a 6 figure household income and our mortgage was 2% and we went on loads of holidays.

However I have been on stat maternity pay and dh is worried about his job (so worried he is spending lots of time looking for one). Baby is very attached to me so i plan to find a new job where it is easier to fit around childcare and also want to be at home for 9 months. We have a mortgage (1282 for our london flat) and it's been expensive with a baby. We have around 37k in savings but a lot of that is earmarked for the future . Also dh sister is getting married next month so we are also spending money on hotels for that.

Logically we should just stay in the cellar but I remember it being cold (dh says its heated, I only remember it being cold cos the floors are made of stone and I don't wear socks in the house- the steps in that house are really steep so I am never sure why dh wears socks). Dh's family aren't the easiest either, as you can see, given we probably have to stay in the cellar with a baby. Dh asked his mum and she said well your sister is staying in fhe bedroom. At that time her partner was only the boyfriend and he refused to stay in the cellar hence why the other sister with the one year old baby had to stay in a hotel (which i think she could only afford cos the MIL and her went halves). I find being a new mum stressful, the idea of doing night feeds and all with them around is causing me anxiety so much so that I almost want to volunteer to stay in the cellar but yet I am worried about health impact on my baby. It is a converted cellar but mainly used for storage.

It's also over Christmas so an overall expensive time to book hotels..

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 09:03

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:57

WE havd asked to swap rooms. Changing dates over Christmas is about as expensive as several nights in a hotel room (as we also have points for hotel rooms that we accumulated over the years). I am asking if spending that money is necessary and I gather from this thread that it is.

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You have also said you have significant savings and earnings so it's a tad disingenuous to ask "if it's worth spending the money" to have your stay in comfort.

I get if you're utterly skint but you aren't.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 09:01

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

The option i am considering now is staying in a town an hour away which can be 542 quid. As londoners we often commute with baby on the Tube anyway(even when he was 2 weeks) and often it can be an hour anyway.

OP posts:
Bonsaibaby · 31/08/2025 09:00

I’d go Airbnb rather than hotel and save money on food and value having a place to escape to! Don’t be afraid of saying we’re doing our own thing today

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:57

Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

WE havd asked to swap rooms. Changing dates over Christmas is about as expensive as several nights in a hotel room (as we also have points for hotel rooms that we accumulated over the years). I am asking if spending that money is necessary and I gather from this thread that it is.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:57

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:55

One sil is nocturnal so not there most days. I do end up crosslegged on the floor a lot. It is actually quite large but it also has a dinner table and those large cabinets which cover a whole wall plus lots of stuff that old people tend to accumulate in boxes. TV. 2 big leather sofas.

Show quote history

2 big leather sofas-one each for you and DH; there has to be room for a travel cot they aren't that big.

Or, stay in a hotel.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:55

Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:48

Where will you all sit if the living room is so small?

If its this tiny book a hotel

Show quote history

One sil is nocturnal so not there most days. I do end up crosslegged on the floor a lot. It is actually quite large but it also has a dinner table and those large cabinets which cover a whole wall plus lots of stuff that old people tend to accumulate in boxes. TV. 2 big leather sofas.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 31/08/2025 08:54

This thread is wild.

So many obstructions to any sensible suggestions.

Go for less time, find cheaper accommodation, ask someone to swap rooms, suck up the cellar. All viable options seemingly poo-pooed by the OP.

JamesWebbSpaceTelescope · 31/08/2025 08:54

Babies do fine in cooler environments, so long as the cellar isn’t damp (you haven’t mentioned it is!) then I would go with that. Then you have a whole floor to yourselves to escape to when you need to.

Lined crocs are great for keeping feet warm and not being slippy at all. Totally get why you are reluctant to just wear socks with marble stairs but it is a tad unreasonable to expect to go bare foot in winter and complain about being cold.

MyTommyGunDont · 31/08/2025 08:52

Cellarorhotel · 30/08/2025 19:03

We overpaid our mortgage by 30k (so mortgage payments would be lower during maternity leave and also our interest rate doubled) and i had several months of unemployment before so eroded a big chunk. Also spent 10k paying back dh student loan in full so no student loan deduction.We also only had 6 figures from 2022.

Edited
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Don’t feel bad about this - I’m also in a six figure household with similar savings. We too prioritise mortgage overpayment and also pension contributions.

Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:48

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:47

A single person could do that but the living room has these large leather sofas plus lots of large furniture. There isn't space for 2 adults and a baby.

Dh always went in the cellar even when he was a little boy.

Show quote history

Where will you all sit if the living room is so small?

If its this tiny book a hotel

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:47

Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:44

Can you not just sleep in the living room or other reception room?

A single person could do that but the living room has these large leather sofas plus lots of large furniture. There isn't space for 2 adults and a baby.

Dh always went in the cellar even when he was a little boy.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 31/08/2025 08:44

Can you not just sleep in the living room or other reception room?

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:44

chunkybear · 31/08/2025 07:06

11 days! This year I’d be staring over night only, unless the other siblings pitch in for some money towards the hotel considering they’re all rent free!

Perhaps it's unusual that we have done this for years and I remember this silly expressing shock we weren't coming one year (cos my sister was getting married at the same time). Gosh every time we go we basically pay.

OP posts:
Fizzfamm · 31/08/2025 08:43

Just stay in the cellar. People go camping with babies all the time and it's fine!

lottiegarbanzo · 31/08/2025 08:42

Find an air b&b so you have your own space.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:41

R0ckandHardPlace · 31/08/2025 08:30

In that case how about saying to MIL “Please can we have the bedroom this year as the cellar will be cold for baby?” It’s not an unreasonable request.

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Dh already broached that. MIL isn't that sympathetic. She put dh in the cellar as a child so I guess why would my son be different..she prefers girls to boys anyway. Grandpa is v elderly he is relying a lot on MIL to make all decisions for him. He can barely hear anymore.

OP posts:
mamagogo1 · 31/08/2025 08:40

What can you get a hotel or airbnb for? I’ve also stayed with neighbours when I go to my parents and all rooms are full- neighbours were away for 2 weeks so like house sitting. Get the family to ask about

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:39

Movingon2024 · 31/08/2025 08:36

I feel sorry for the grandpa, being written off at 93.

presumably you’ll also have to budget for his funeral later in the year?

just book a hotel or new flights for this Xmas, ffs

He doesn't have that many birthdays left and we already had to miss the last one

The cheapest hotel we found is 650 for 11 nights..rebooking new flights might cost 400 quid anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:38

Bjorkdidit · 31/08/2025 04:29

Not sorry that I can't get over anyone ever writing 'only' in front of £37k in savings, especially when it's known that the OP has been on maternity leave for nearly a year.

But the whole thread is odd.

Why is it 'likely to be Grandad's last Christmas' solely due to his age?

Why hasn't it occurred to the OP that wearing socks (and slippers) will do a lot to keep her feet warm.

Why is it just accepted that 'SIL won't stay in the cellar'?

The OP has done her share of staying in the cellar so this time, especially as they have the baby, I'd be saying that OP and DH can have the remaining bedroom and SIL can sleep in the cellar, otherwise they will suck up the loss of the £120 on flights, not go and have a quiet Christmas at home without all the drama.

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When I was talking about socks/slippers it was an indication to me the cellar is cold and therefore not a suitable place for a baby. Even when heating is on full blast I remember it being cold.. the grandpa doesn't stinge on heating, he doesn't care how much it costs.

Based on what dh says, the rooms are doled up like Grace and favour properties. The last time the couple with a baby had to go to a hotel too and share with another family member flying in. I remember her mother expressing horror at that idea but she didn't make her daughter leave that bedroom.

We aren't distanced from the whole family, just his mum and the youngest sisters. For many reasons which I wouldn't go into here, but i suppose the grace and favour rooms and the fact she would let her grandson stay in a cellar/daughter share room with MIL rather than reallocate rooms is a sign.. the sisters all worship MIL (as well as the grandpa), what they think or want is irrelevant so I don't blame them. Dh decided around a year ago he doesn't want to pretend to worship his mum anymore hence why we are distanced, plus the youngest is quite difficult as she is her mother's favourite.

The 93 year old grandpa is in poor health. We lost dh's other grandpa who was in his 90s (he did live in London so we saw him v often )..

OP posts:
Movingon2024 · 31/08/2025 08:36

I feel sorry for the grandpa, being written off at 93.

presumably you’ll also have to budget for his funeral later in the year?

just book a hotel or new flights for this Xmas, ffs

GabriellaMontez · 31/08/2025 08:31

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:24

It was the flight prices and those days were the cheapest.

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They're not cheap if you now have to pay 11 days of hotel room.

Just buy new return flights.

R0ckandHardPlace · 31/08/2025 08:30

Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:26

MIL was the one who moved to a new country (uk). MIL is European. Dh actually is a 4th generation londoner, 2 of his sister have moved to new countries (different countries from grandparents).

Edited
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In that case how about saying to MIL “Please can we have the bedroom this year as the cellar will be cold for baby?” It’s not an unreasonable request.

deeahgwitch · 31/08/2025 08:30

whitewineandsun · 31/08/2025 00:35

11 days in a cellar with a baby and in a house with people you're distant from? I'd book the hotel and deal with the credit card later. No contest, none.

I agree

GabriellaMontez · 31/08/2025 08:30

Youve distanced yourself.

But now youre staying 11 nights.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster. Id change to 2 nights and stay in a hotel.

Original poster
Cellarorhotel · 31/08/2025 08:26

R0ckandHardPlace · 31/08/2025 07:17

I agree that 11 days is too long, but why the hell should the siblings pay for a hotel because OP’s DH chose to move away??

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MIL was the one who moved to a new country (uk). MIL is European. Dh actually is a 4th generation londoner, 2 of his sister have moved to new countries (different countries from grandparents).

OP posts:
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