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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I should get revenge anonymously?

84 replies

ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:09

I posted on this site some months ago about some awful bullying that happened to me in secondary school. I’m glad I did because everyone was so supportive. 😊

One poster suggested I somehow get revenge on them anonymously. This is something I myself had thought about before I even posted on MN so this poster was hardly making a brand new suggestion to me as such.

However, whenever I’ve thought about getting revenge - in this day and age with everything so traceable etc - even an online anonymous message can to some extent be traceable - and CCTV everywhere etc. To be honest I’d have the hassle of constant worry that I was going to be caught if I instigated a vengeful act.

Also if I’m being honest - if I ever got found out it could look like I didn’t have a happy or successful life now if I was trying to get my own back with regard to a traumatic incident that happened to me decades ago.

AIBU to ask what others think ?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 30/08/2025 12:21

I don't seek revenge as much as I would like to.
Not due to guilt as I know I wouldn't feel any but because of how it could impact me.

Original poster
ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:19

missmollygreen · 30/08/2025 12:19

Honestly OP, the best revenge you can get is not giving them any more head space. You are still letting them win with all the "revenge" business. WHy eep giving them control? Let it go and live

Thank you. I needed to hear this

OP posts:
Original poster
ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:19

Coconutter24 · 30/08/2025 12:17

if I ever got found out it could look like I didn’t have a happy or successful life now

do you have that now? If you do I’d forget the bullies and concentrate on what’s important. Even if you don’t have that put your efforts into getting it. The bullying is never nice and not always easily forgotten but whilst your sat contemplating revenge they are still winning, they’re probably getting on and enjoying their lives whilst your sat stewing over this. Try forget and move on for your own peace of mind

Yes thank you and I agree with you

OP posts:
missmollygreen · 30/08/2025 12:19

Honestly OP, the best revenge you can get is not giving them any more head space. You are still letting them win with all the "revenge" business. WHy eep giving them control? Let it go and live

Coconutter24 · 30/08/2025 12:17

if I ever got found out it could look like I didn’t have a happy or successful life now

do you have that now? If you do I’d forget the bullies and concentrate on what’s important. Even if you don’t have that put your efforts into getting it. The bullying is never nice and not always easily forgotten but whilst your sat contemplating revenge they are still winning, they’re probably getting on and enjoying their lives whilst your sat stewing over this. Try forget and move on for your own peace of mind

Original poster
ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:16

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/08/2025 12:12

I can see why you'd want to get revenge, but I believe that you'd feel guilty if you did.

I'd leave it. But have you considered contacting your bullies and telling them what their actions did to you? So not revenge, but a discussion.

Thank you. Yes I’d feel guilty.

No I haven’t considered contacting them directly for a discussion - I feel if anything this would play more into their hands

OP posts:
Original poster
ClatterHatters · 30/08/2025 12:14

dodobedo · 30/08/2025 12:11

Have you got anything nice planned for this week-end OP?

Starting a new diet and exercise plan and starting to clear out my house

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 30/08/2025 12:12

I can see why you'd want to get revenge, but I believe that you'd feel guilty if you did.

I'd leave it. But have you considered contacting your bullies and telling them what their actions did to you? So not revenge, but a discussion.

dodobedo · 30/08/2025 12:11

Have you got anything nice planned for this week-end OP?

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