To not want to allow DH any freedom because he takes the piss with it?

I don't see it like that.

He has several hours to do things like a haircut, clean the car ect... and instead he waits until he's supposed to be spending time with his family? He could do those things in the free time he has and instead does it when he's supposed to be helping raise his children?

He's not being a parent is he.... he's actively going out of his way to avoid being a parent and keeps leaving it all to OP ...... I'd be annoyed if I was her aswell... he's out of order

The way your post is written makes you sound controlling, talking of ALLOWING him free time, and of him using the time you allow him makes you sound horrendous. How ever I can see your point, but what is he doing? you say 'something he has wanted to do' but what kind of activity, is it something useful to the family, or is it pure unalloyed pleasure for him. The point is you both need a bit of child free time, could you plan ahead and agree how this will play out at weekend? With activities specified in advance

That’s just the thing though, I haven’t said anything to her. she has me confused with someone else I haven’t said anything about her loss or her business.

Yeah, I thought you were very sensitive to what she posted. And you were right with what you said.

Bloody hel” @Bunnycute23 get yourself out for some fresh air, it’ll do you good 🤞

Yeah I’m really confused. Looking forward to seeing h this post where I’ve apparently been a dick

I know exactly what you mean and you’re not being unreasonable, OP. Having small children is such a relatively short, intense period of your lives that I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask him to spend his time a bit more wisely. It’s just thinking about you and your needs - like, you have been looking after the kids all day so naturally will be exhausted and want a bit of help when you get home… and then he leaves the house?! It would frustrate me too. I think there’s a balance to be struck between trying to carve out some kid free time and him understanding that unfortunately for the next few years he’ll naturally have a bit less free time… as will you. So yeah I get where you’re coming from.

Well Hq disagreed and deleted your post @Bunnycute23

@Bunnycute23 please can you find the post where you say I was a dick to you. On this thread I’ve only responded the the OP and two other posts and none were you. Do an advanced search.

Not sure why you’ve been offended by me. You posted something really nasty to Aurora, and I called you out on it.

We don’t tend to go on spring walks, as DC1 has bad hayfever. But we do love to watch the lambs frolic from our windows

I'm sure you're a lovely person and a brilliant mum.
I reckon when you're on spring walks with your 'DC', lambs burst forth from the wombs of their mothers in joy.

I don't appreciate being advised that my personal grief is anything to do with you.

I'm sorry if I inadvertently offended. You offended me.

All the best.

As others have said you are getting an undeserved hard time on this thread. Your DH thinks the kids are your responsibility that’s the core problem and tries to get out of the day to day at every opportunity.

My ex was like this and there’s no greater turn off, you care that he gets time out and it’s really upsetting when you realise he doesn’t mind if you’re run ragged as long as it doesn’t effect him or his time off. I hope things change for you.

I haven’t responded to you except in this and the one before.

Where did I say I think you're being unreasonable?

Agree

Basically mum is out of the house for 8 hours

When they return he suddenly needs to have a haircut so cant help with evening times etc.- God only knows what he is doing in those 8 hours

Yeah that would piss me off too.

Have they migrated from Tattle.

You called her a weak judgemental cow.

And no offence taken. You mean nothing to me.

It wasn't though. And, you reporting it, can't tell me what was nasty?

Have you read many of the posts on this site?

They're awful, generally.

I said the OP was a bit of a drama queen.

I didn't use foul language or abuse.

Interested to know what you do for a job.

No offense meant.

I can see why you're annoyed to be honest. Your husband has 8 hours to himself, to do whatever he needs/wants to do. Yet, as soon as you come home, suddenly he's got to go somewhere or do something that can't wait, but he's had 8 hours to do it in!! I think you need to tell him that if he has child free time, then he needs to make sure he does these things within that timeframe, not expect to do it once you're home. When you come home, you expect him to take over the childcare, so you can have a break.

biscuits, I also don’t understand why people have been so nasty. I am sat here reading the responses open mouthed.
You have obviously posted here as a mother of young kids who could do with some help and support.
I am child free but I remember my dad doing this, it just made me feel that he got no pleasure from us as children and didn’t really want to be with us. And that’s without me ever thinking as a child how it felt for my mum.

I wouldn't tell him what he has to do and when, but do tell him that when you get back it will be his turn to have the kids. That gives him the option - if he wants to do his chores in a peaceful child free manner he can, otherwise he can do them with the kids with him (kids quite enjoy a car wash!)

You sent quite a nasty post to me telling me to keep my beak out of your business. I was really confused as you said something about my loss not being an excuse, but I hadn’t posted about a loss. The post has since been deleted

Your reply to that other poster was deleted, so no, I don’t have you confused with anyone. Your post was nasty.

I haven't been nasty at all. I do think you're making this up or are mistaken.