Should I be upset or was I thoughtless?

I agree. You didn’t mean to insult her, so I wouldn’t have taken it as an insult. Sounds as if she realised this and regretted snapping at you. So, no harm done.

She sounds hyper-sensitive about it, which is her issue not yours and maybe she realised that hence being nice to you later on. To be honest, the main issue with retirement going forward will be huge swathes of people not affording to do it at all, which in fact is already happening now. Doesn't stop her feeling how she feels but really she sounds like she's lucky to have the options she does.

I don't think you did anything wrong. The person has an issue with the term retirement which is her problem. I'd be interested to know if she is has actually retired. Unless she has other streams of income it would be very difficult for someone to return to study and manage living costs without actually drawing their pension, which is essentially retiring.

Off to Uni card would be patronising surely, depending on personalities? A good luck card would have been a better choice but I don't think what you did was that bad. To me retiring means retiring from a job, not retiring from life, and I'm sure that was how you meant it. I know lots of retired (as in not in paid employment and drawing pensions) people who live extremely full lives, some including postgrad study, and many do refer to themselves as retired.

Fair enough her pulling you up and it doesn't sound like she's holding it against you, but the person who quibbled about the bus pass comment was a bit of an arse in my opinion. You tried to make a joke in an awkward situation and she had to correct you on that too. Happy to have free bus passes, which many people would massively benefit from but aren't entitled to, and then getting the arse because someone used the word retired. It's hardly a massive insult - it's not like you have her a 'Congratulations on becoming an OAP' card.

@MasterBeth

Why would anyone think being mistakenly told you're retiring is insulting?

Because a lot of people hate the thought of retirement and its associations.

It's inherently offensive, when according to the OP, the recipient responded, "you know I'm not retiring and you've known for months I've left to do a course and will continue working after that".

So to buy a retirement card, given the recipient's stance, was either a joke that backfired (as others have suggested) or simply thoughtless.

It’s always tricky and can be exhausting navigating around touchy people. In effect she ‘had’ retired from her job, so try not to give it too much thought.

Because it's obviously important enough to the woman to have made it clear previously that she ISN'T retiring but pursuing further study!

About 20 years ago, the company I then worked for had you ending employment on your 60th birthday.
I know quite a few people who retired before 66 yoa.

It was insensitive and thoughtless rather than a deliberate insult.

She said she had been clear that she was leaving to follow a uni course with the intention of returning to work afterwards.

Had she actually been as clear as she thought? Only you know that. We don't. If she had been clear, and you went ahead and bought the card anyway then yes, you were on a sticky wicket there. It was perhaps intended as a joke, but it didn't land well and that was the risk you took. If so you do owe her an apology.

Many people are very sensitive about age related issues. Some might see retiring as being written off because of it so you should have been more careful.

A simple Good Luck or Best Wishes card would have been a much better and safer choice.

You obviously meant well and I don’t think any serious harm was done so I wouldnt give it too much thought.

Retirement can be a bit triggering to some people. I personally hate the thought of retirement, I never want to stop working and being useful and it would make me feel old, past it and useless so I might bristle a bit too if I got a happy retirement card.

But she clearly had a word with herself and understood that you hadn’t intended to hurt so I wouldnt worry too much.

She is retiring from her job. she will be a student and be able to enjoy discounts and join the NUS but she was being over sensitive. Probably because she doesn’t like to be thought of as older, she is older. I’m hitting 60 next year and for sure that does feel older.

I think saying you are unreasonable seems a bit harsh as it was clearly meant well and just very thoughtless. I also don’t think she should have just accepted it to keep the peace as a PP said. Hopefully it’s the kind of thing that you will both laugh about before too long, despite how bad you feel about it now.

I think the problem is her self-image. She IS essentially retiring, but that’s not how she sees it for whatever reason.

And it's still not an insult. It's an error.

Why would anyone think being mistakenly told you're retiring is insulting?

She was being unreasonable (and ridiculous) not you.

You meant well and she should have just quietly accepted it, whether she liked it or not.

She sounds really prickly. I get she might be feeling sensitive, but the card was obviously well intentioned (unless it had an age joke on it or something) so I'd personally say nothing and shred or set fire to it at home if I were so offended.

I think she’s over-sensitive tbh; I don’t know why she’s got her knickers in a twist about retiring anyway. I don’t see her issue at all.

I think they were all a bit dick-ish about it tbh. You made a nice gesture and she’s not technically retiring, but what’s the big deal? She’s moving on and you were wishing her well. I’m very sensitive to ageist comments but you did nothing wrong imo.

Its an oops my mistake
Then move on.
Its always more socially acceptable to offer congrats /good luck on the new Whatever than focuse on the past.
Eg happy birthday hope you have a great year ...

So what, though? What’s so inherently offensive about being accused of retiring??

To be honest if someone leaves their career at 66 to go off and do something else, I think it is retirement. Loads of people my parents’ age have left their jobs and then gone on and done some consultancy work or whatever. They still referred to it as retirement.