To send DD to year 7 in Mary Janes

My daughter (about to be year 10) learnt the hard way last year that fashion doesn't always = comfort. Wanted slip on (lazy - hates laces) , so got chunky brogues from a "fashionable" shoe shop. Terrible blisters from the 30min walk each way, 3 weeks in, back to "proper" shoe shop for fitted lace ups. The brogues are handy for weekend stuff. This year, she's gone for chunky mary janes - velcro (she's delighted), but disguised as a buckle. Those look totally acceptable and I've seen lots of year 7/8 wearing similar.

Agreed. TBH @JMSA ’s comments made me think that she works at a school where they don’t appear to do much to combat bullying, if her heart would sink at the sight of a girl wearing perfectly normal shoes.

I love that style

currently at our school it’s low kickers

I think fine for year 7, I’m sure my dd wore similar at the start of year 7, then went in to kickers and DM shoes.

I think it's also important to teach kids that people who judge them on their shoes don't make good friends. I'd teach your DD to just shrug and say they are comfy/do the job/are just shoes if anyone does bother to comment.

And regrettably, they'll be trashed in no time...

Wishing your DD all the best at her new school.

I'm a woman in my late forties who worked in a Secondary School and I'd be asking if they're comfy (because I've been considering buying them 😂). Seriously, having seen a thread involving Kickers and AF1s both banned where I worked, they are absolutely fine.

Not only do they not have a Tbar but most schools have a uniform policy which means you cant choose the colour of your socks. Unsure what sort of school that poster works in

JMSA obviously hasn't RTFT and works in a school that does not have a strict uniform policy. And yes, she is the rude one not the OP. Im sure most kids would rather rock up to school in a pair of AF1s but for those with strict uniform policy most are wearing shoes like the OPs dd. The uniform policy means that there are no on trend shoes that kids can wear to school so no one cares whether someone else is wearing mary janes, brogues or loafers. They're all just school shoes that none of them would be seen dead in outside school.

They don't have a t-bar...

I’m surprised that someone who works in a secondary school, with the workload and stress that entails, even has the headspace or energy to notice a year 7’s shows and form a judgement on them, other than whether they comply with the uniform policy.

I'm 36 and wear shoes like this.

Dds school rules are similar to yours OP. I don't know why lots are replying they would be unheard of in their school and everyone wears trainers when you have clearly said trainers are not allowed. Dd is not allowed any sort of trainer, sports shoe or boot. They are also not allowed to wear any designer logo shoes such as the vivienne westwood slip ons that were popular a couple of years ago. Your dds shoes are pretty much what everyone wears so please don't stress. Dd alternates between geox casey and the DM mary janes which are similar but slightly chunkier. Don't worry at all. Year 7 a black backpack is fine as well. As they get a bit older the trends for bags get more noticeable. Dd is going into year 11 and they all seem to have goyard or longchamp pliage

Mary Jane’s and ballerinas are super trendy so I can’t see it as a problem! xox

Ah, the trauma of finding shoes that are comfortable, hard wearing and stylish all at once! I empathise - dd tries on literally every pair of shoes in every shop, often in two sizes, until she has the eureka moment!

I like them op and think they're fine for Y7. Dd opted for zip up boots in the end (which creates its own hazards with her preference for trainer socks 😫) And don't get me started on what will happen if we have another heat wave in the early autumn!

Yes, I agree with this. When mine were in state school in a fairly deprived area it was far more of an issue than it is now we’ve moved them to an independent school.

Yes, quite right. I am living in the past! I got my first pair of grown up shoes about 13 years old. From Ravel they were.

Bizarrely it seems worse in more deprived areas, the kids care more about fashion labels.
None of the kids in my dc private school care what shoes/bag/coat you have.

seems a bit fussy. Surely kids and some parents from deprived areas would not care about labels!

My 11yo (almost 12) starts high school this week too. She wanted these exact shoes OP - but they aren't available in her size. She's gone for Geox mary janes which are a bit chunkier. She did try slip on chunky loafers first as she reckoned lots of girls in y6 and high school wear these, but they didn't fit her well at all.

It's hard because we want to help ease them into high school without making them feel they have to follow all arbitrary "fashion" rules rather than their own preference...

I figure if there's a huge issue with the shoes we will deal with it but the most important thing is feeling comfortable and having some tricks up your sleeve to deal with negative comments and bullying.

Mary Jane’s popular here as well although chunkier ones generally.
I really can’t see a pair of school shoes like this in year 7 being cause for getting picked on however Trainers would be looked at for PE but can’t go wrong with a pair of Nikes really.
Wearing Skechers you might as well take up home schooling the ridiculing would be so bad.

Luckily in dc’s school it’s a school standard issue backpack no alternatives but coats is where they go insane. Canada gooses/Moncler aplenty although in this area they’re generally either fakes or bought with drug money. These kids don’t go ski-ing. I sound jaded I know I’ve just lived through 8 years of teens at this school and hear fellow parents with same struggles!

Good luck OP! As a child I had nightmares about school shoes as I had orthopedic issues and had to wear Kickers for ankle support. Ironically they were really unfashionable back then. DD, on the other hand, has never worn girls shoes - her school doesn't allow skirts, and she has always preferred boys lace-ups to the girls equivalent. Luckily she has a great group of friends who are not hung up on what they wear. If she did wear a skirt, I imagine she'd be happy with the ones you have.

My daughter has something very similar and she's going into Year 9. She's chosen the exact same shoe for the third year in a row. It's an all girls school and no-one really seems to care very much about footwear.