To think my friend is ungenerous in only buying herself a concert ticket?

If you want to go to the gig then you can buy your own ticket. You already visit each other in each other’s cities and she looked after you on your last visit - cooking meals and taking you out. Reciprocal arrangements are in place. I wouldn’t be expecting her to fork out £50 for me to go to a gig too.

But what is stopping you from saying “that sounds great, i’lll get a ticket too”? What is stopping you from simply going too?

I think this is good, but I suspect in her mind she sees buying concert tickets as separate from a host gift, particularly as you have stayed before at hers.
If you don’t get it out of your system, I would still let her stay, but dial back the hospitality a bit - after all you have said you are skint.

Socially awkward my bottom. 🤣
she was bold enough to to invite herself to stay at OPs house for a whopping 7 day’s

I love how you put that. Her “friend” invited herself, asks to stay a week in her home. She won’t live on air. What’s the getting she won’t take her friend for dinner/buy couple of bottles of wine either?

id be fuming if someone treated my adult child that way

She’s using her…

Why do you go and stay with her ?

Well.......a friend who uses your home as a free hotel so that she can go to a concert with others/on her own???

It doesn't sound like a great friendship to me

However if you are happy that the friendship is good, then that's fine

You need boundary’s

Lots of people travel a long way just for 1-2 days. She’s not special.

why can’t she stay at the other friends houses also?

You don’t owe her just cause you went to the Same uni

if you wasn’t living there she’d book a hotel. Let her do that.

she’s using you..

If she has other friends in your area why not suggest she stays with them? I sort of get the impression that she’s using you for cheap accommodation during her visit.

Potentially rude not to ask you but I don't think she should be expected to pay for you. She's already spent time and money getting to you, and presuambly you enjoy having her over to stay. Plus you stay over at hers the same amount of time so it's not like this is a one-way street.

And when I say potentially rude, it may just be that she would expect you to say something if you wanted to go. I am a little socially awkward and I used to have a bad habit of telling friends my plans hoping they'd join, but I wouldn't necessarily ask them as I didn't want them to feel obligated. I am trying to train myself out of this now I'm older!

Is it sold out? Is the a reason you can't just buy a ticket other than being put out by her not offering? Maybe she thinks if you wanted to go you'd just buy a ticket

Is she going with someone else/others? Don't get why she wouldn't invite you otherwise (but not necessarily pay)...Or if not, is there still time to get a ticket, say I can afford it after all? 🤔

Your solution is to make it really clear what your intention is.

your friend needs certainty, not "I may go, depending on..."

I suggested I may also want to go depending on finances (this year has been tough for me which she knows)

she can't work with vagueness, and you only have to look on the frequent threads on MN to realise how common it is for people to expect to be financed by their friend and never give the money back despite chasing, embarrassing conversations and ultimatums.

if you really want to go to concerts with her and you know she buys tickets then make an arrangement where you repay upfront or quickly after, how do you know if her finances can withstand paying for you in advance!

Sorry if this was already clarified, but is this visit in addition to the annual reciprocal visit or is it the annual visit?

I think it’s weird you expecting her to buy you a concert ticket.

It is weird she doesn’t think to invite you along though.

Does she bring any sort of gift of appreciation like wine? Flowers? Anything?

If not then it’s weird of you to keep on letting her take the piss all this time and also weird to be resentful about it.

I would just say she can’t stay and explain why. But to expect her to buy you a ticket is odd.

Actually this is good and better than what I suggested. I am sure the world would be a better place if people were more honest (but tactful) with each other. And surely it would be possible to be honest with an old friend, and not let resentment fester and lose the friendship over it.

This! Tell her she can't stay because you're taking in a lodger for two weeks while she wanted to come to make ends meet. I would definitely not host said "friend".

"Hey Jenny, you're welcome to stay, but i wish you invited me to the gig too i would have loved to come, do you think theres still tickets? Or did you not want to go with me, or did you think i wouldn't want to come? It just feels a bit strange youre staying at mine for the gig and we arent going together??"

Use your words and say what you mean for goodness sake. All the comments telling you to lie about that week not working for you etc... are not going to solve any misunderstandings or help anyone long term.

You need to make yourself more clear.
Say next time, if you are in town to see a gig, I really do want to have the option of also attending. Please let me know before you purchase your ticket.
(Don't talk about your finances which can indicate that you are a non starter.)
Why not buy your own ticket as soon as she lets you know that she'd like to stay. Have a conversation when she asks if she can stay.

Since she knows other people in the city, does she go to the gigs with them, not you?

If she spends some of the visit without you she's probably waiting for you to say 'i'd love to come get me a ticket ' with the expectation you pay her back.

She's telling you in advance of buying the ticket. Speak up.

It's a pity you have to unexpectedly go away that week and won't be able to put her up isn't it OP?

She is being tight, yes. It was only £50 for the ticket and she can't claim that she didn't know you'd enjoy it, because you had already mentioned it to her. She's chosen to ignore that.

Did you pay for your tickets in the past when she stayed?

How long do you stay at hers when you visit?

I'd just say - oh, I thought we were going to go together?

Just tell her the truth - I'm a bit disappointed as I thought we were going to go together, but now you've bought a ticket without me.

And see what she says.

’Ariana, next time you’re going to a gig can you invite me along as well? You know how much I enjoy live music.’