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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
godmum56 · 30/08/2025 09:06

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

yeah......either its a charm offensive or he genuinely believes that women have no agency. either was a red flag.

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/08/2025 09:06

DurinsBane · 30/08/2025 08:49

These people saying he is after a passport/visa. You do realise Turkey is in the EU? So they can go anywhere in the EU freely. An EU passport is more powerful than a UK one nowadays!

Turkey is not in the EU.

Bethany83 · 30/08/2025 09:06

I appear to be in the minority from a quick scan of the thread.

I think O.P you should go for dinner if you want to. Life is too short. You are not an idiot who is going to get taken for a ride I am sure.
And God forbid, imagine if some Kurdish people are normal people without an agenda. Believe me, I am the first to roll my eyes at the classic older woman being taken for a ride and losing her life savings for young Stavros fifty years younger who said how beautiful she was but this is not that situation. Sounds like two young people who have an attraction. He asked her out for dinner. No big deal. Asking her parents permission may seem a bit cringey but her parents were there and perhaps he was just being polite etc. I'm sure he wouldn't have phoned up her parents to ask! Do what you want O.P! And best of luck x

LochKatrine · 30/08/2025 09:06

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:57

He works in a Turkish accountancy firm hybrid remote. His qualifications were obtained in Turkey.

Show quote history

Right. So, after meeting you, he went to university in Turkey?
Did he do this using his savings?

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 09:06

BetweenTwoFerns · 30/08/2025 09:04

Did you live apart when he was getting his degree in Turkey?

Show quote history

Yes.

OP posts:
localnotail · 30/08/2025 09:05

My god, why would a person who is happy and has such an amazing life would need to get validation on MN?

Oganesson118 · 30/08/2025 09:05

What was the point of this post? So it worked out for you, whoopdiedoo, but you of all people should know why the stereotype exists and the behaviour that goes on in the resorts.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:05

JFDIYOLO · 30/08/2025 09:03

And another time waster here - falsely presenting herself as being in a vulnerable and potentially difficult situation.

And then women who have frequently suffered at the hands of unscrupulous men - or seen this happen to loved ones - waste time and concern trying to help a stranger.

🤦‍♀️

Before posting, please read the gotcha update.

Yes. Pretty sure this is against the guidelines here.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 09:05

Iamfree · 30/08/2025 09:03

OP, Mumsnetters are sleuths. Your timing doesn’t make sense. Where did he find the 30 grand a year to attend uni in the UK? My friend had to take A levels before applying (from a different country). And visas are difficult to come by. And sorry where do you both work? As my firm wants me in 4 days a week and I only have 28 days annual leave. So I can’t split my year between London and a hot country. Simply put, you’re full of shit

Edited

My Timing makes perfect sense as it’s the truth.

As said upthread, he was studying in Turkey alongside his part time tourism job. If funds are what’s important here, his education was funded by his aunt. He was enrolled and already studying when we met, hence we did long distance for a period of time whilst he finished and completed.

He works in a hybrid remote role in a Turkish firm.

OP posts:
Sprinklesandsprinkles · 30/08/2025 09:05

I knew a girl who met a barman in Turkey. We thought what an idiot, like most of the posters here! However many years later they're happily married with 2 kids, so yes it can happen!

Dragonflydancer · 30/08/2025 09:04

You were only with your ex husband for 6 years.

Now you're with your second husband with 2 kids after just 3 years.

I guess everyone's different but I'd say you have a tendency to move very fast

Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 09:04

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 09:03

It is genuine. We were reminiscing over dinner last night about the hurdles we had to jump through - accusations - many from our own friends and family.

Show quote history

Yes, he can travel for holidays and visits. But he must live in the UK. He won't be able to renew if he has spent 6 months of each year in turkey.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:04

Jackiepumpkinhead · 30/08/2025 09:04

You are quite pathetic.

Show quote history

I agree.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 30/08/2025 09:04

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:54

I don’t mind at all if this post gets reported, that’s fine..

I have not lied - this post is and was my life 3 years ago. It’s all true.

You are quite pathetic.

BetweenTwoFerns · 30/08/2025 09:04

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:57

He works in a Turkish accountancy firm hybrid remote. His qualifications were obtained in Turkey.

Show quote history

Did you live apart when he was getting his degree in Turkey?

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:04

localnotail · 30/08/2025 09:03

One of those, eh?

Show quote history

Yes. Smugness radiates.

JFDIYOLO · 30/08/2025 09:03

And another time waster here - falsely presenting herself as being in a vulnerable and potentially difficult situation.

And then women who have frequently suffered at the hands of unscrupulous men - or seen this happen to loved ones - waste time and concern trying to help a stranger.

🤦‍♀️

Before posting, please read the gotcha update.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 09:03

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 30/08/2025 09:01

I don't get it. If genuine, why post a thread just so the collective ignorance and xenophobia could bash your husband for 600 posts?

Many of the replies here make me physically sick.

I am in an international marriage of 18 years and am all too familiar with all the assumptions, judgments and vitriol on display here.

It is genuine. We were reminiscing over dinner last night about the hurdles we had to jump through - accusations - many from our own friends and family.

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…
OP posts:
localnotail · 30/08/2025 09:03

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:02

There’s been a plot twist! No more Ruth Rendell for me…..

Show quote history

One of those, eh?

lotsofpatience · 30/08/2025 09:03

How utterly naive your are, you sweet summer child.

Iamfree · 30/08/2025 09:03

OP, Mumsnetters are sleuths. Your timing doesn’t make sense. Where did he find the 30 grand a year to attend uni in the UK? My friend had to take A levels before applying (from a different country). And visas are difficult to come by. And sorry where do you both work? As my firm wants me in 4 days a week and I only have 28 days annual leave. So I can’t split my year between London and a hot country. Simply put, you’re full of shit

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 09:02

localnotail · 30/08/2025 09:00

OMG so much hand wringing over a holiday fling!

You obviously need to be safe - but why not have a dinner with him? You literally talking about potential marriage and kids when this guy only wants to take you out for something to eat. His intentions could be whatever - but most likely he just wants sex! He probably does it all the time.

You can have a bit of fun if you are up for it, or you could ignore him. I would not expect anything serious, and I'm afraid its unlikely it would develop into anything serious for a multitude of reasons.

Asking parents seems like a weird thing to us but he is Turkish, they are much more conservative.

There’s been a plot twist! No more Ruth Rendell for me…..

Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 09:01

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 09:00

I have dual residency now due to being married. We are currently going through the stages of the UK settlement but at the moment he’s on a standard spouse visa here. So we can come and go.

Show quote history

You can't come and go or split your time on a spouse visa. You know that right? He won't be allowed to renew.

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 30/08/2025 09:01

I don't get it. If genuine, why post a thread just so the collective ignorance and xenophobia could bash your husband for 600 posts?

Many of the replies here make me physically sick.

I am in an international marriage of 18 years and am all too familiar with all the assumptions, judgments and vitriol on display here.

localnotail · 30/08/2025 09:00

OMG so much hand wringing over a holiday fling!

You obviously need to be safe - but why not have a dinner with him? You literally talking about potential marriage and kids when this guy only wants to take you out for something to eat. His intentions could be whatever - but most likely he just wants sex! He probably does it all the time.

You can have a bit of fun if you are up for it, or you could ignore him. I would not expect anything serious, and I'm afraid its unlikely it would develop into anything serious for a multitude of reasons.

Asking parents seems like a weird thing to us but he is Turkish, they are much more conservative.

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