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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
IOSTT · 29/08/2025 21:43

He asked your parent’s permission, your Dad said no - so if the man still pursues you, this shows his lack of respect for your Dad, and the pointlessness of him asking their permission.

Jk987 · 29/08/2025 21:42

I don’t understand why you’re thinking of the future and comparing this to your friends situations. Have dinner with him and enjoy but stop planning beyond that!

Zanatdy · 29/08/2025 21:42

Friend of mine met her husband in Tunisia, happily married over 20yrs now. It can happen, but it
certainly wasn’t an easy journey. I would steer clear.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 29/08/2025 21:42

Yeah, I've twice had colleagues who started going on holiday abroad to the same place several times a year. Call me slow, but it took me a while to work out there was a guy involved. In both cases the colleague was materially much better off than the guy they were spending time with. However, both of them were also pretty hard-headed so it fizzled out after a while. Honestly OP, these people are predators. I travel on my own a lot, and they see a lone woman on holiday as there for the picking. I've had more offers than I can recall.

Treat it as a bit of fun, if you want, but it's no more than that.

OhNoNotSusan · 29/08/2025 21:40

anyway go for it
you are young

cinnamonbunlover · 29/08/2025 21:40

Don’t do it.

It’s starts with dinner then ends with a scam marriage and you taking tramadol tablets to help him and ending up in Turkish prison.

have you not seen Bridget Jones 2 (kind of) and the real life Laura Plummer.

also sex tourism is a thing and your didn’t go away with you mum and dad for a ONS so just leave it!

flatchestedonce · 29/08/2025 21:40

No. No no no no no no

J3001 · 29/08/2025 21:40

Get out now im seperated from mine after 25 yrs of abuse , affairs control seperated for 3 yr and still trying to control me glad we moved to uk , was hell when kids younger for fear he took them abroad and stayed there mind think my mil would of gave him hell and make him bring them back there 25 and 20 and really don't like him he's a lier , i was 27 savy when i met him was good for first couple of year then went down hill still getting councelling

OhNoNotSusan · 29/08/2025 21:40

Shirley

fruitbrewhaha · 29/08/2025 21:40

Why are you letting your mind runaway with this. You do t know this guy and haven’t been out on a date. I f you fancy a night out, do it, it’s only dinner and you might not be that bothered about him after a few hours. Or you could hang out with him until you head home which could be fun. But really it’s nothing more than this.

anonymous98 · 29/08/2025 21:40

anonymous98 · 29/08/2025 21:39

Fine, as long as you're not expecting anything serious.

My parents met in Turkey (both professionals). My mother is British and my father is Turkish. Had me, followed by very, very acrominous divorce and my dad stalking us.

Turkey has a serious misogyny problem.

*acrimonious

anonymous98 · 29/08/2025 21:39

Fine, as long as you're not expecting anything serious.

My parents met in Turkey (both professionals). My mother is British and my father is Turkish. Had me, followed by very, very acrominous divorce and my dad stalking us.

Turkey has a serious misogyny problem.

Lafufufu · 29/08/2025 21:39

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

If he's so great and respectful how agreed

Additionally...he asked their permission and your dad said No.... if he's so respectful why is he still cracking on with you....

I don't know how you even want to square that circle.

Meredusoleil · 29/08/2025 21:38

Isn't there a Ch5 series based on this? Can't remember what it was called.

Anyway, fwiw when I was still in my late 20s I met an older English guy whilst on holiday with a girlfriend. I had recently broken up with my boyfriend so got together with him on the rebound. He said he was separated and lived abroad whilst his wife lived in the UK.

Anyway, all was fine until we decided to stay in touch upon my return home. I even flew out to stay with him once more afterwards, a few months after we had first met. I didn't feel right on the flight out but ignored the warning voice in my head.

In the end, I found out he was not only still married, but the place abroad belonged to both of them and he was basically just cheating on her with me!

I felt so stupid and used that I had believed those lies 😬

MyCoralHedgehog · 29/08/2025 21:38

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

You could just go for a meal but if you are looking for a relationship then it’s very unlikely

bugalugs45 · 29/08/2025 21:38

It’s dinner , He’s not proposing marriage ( yet ) .
ypu have nothing to lose , make sure parents know where you are & you have enough money to get home if necessary . I’d go for it !

Marylou2 · 29/08/2025 21:37

PrissyGalore · 29/08/2025 21:32

Jeez-not every foreigner wants a British passport! I met a Greek guy on holiday over 30 years ago-we had a passionate fling, even visiting each other before it fizzled out. If you’re happy for it to be a holiday dalliance with some nice memories go for it-sometimes holiday romances do work out, but don’t do into it with that expectation. Dad is being protective, that’s all.

Greece is completely different. An EU country without so many cultural differences. Greek men are probably wary of British women looking for EU passports these days.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:37

meganorks · 29/08/2025 21:36

You sound like you've completely lost your head already. You met a couple of days ago, hes asked you to dinner and you think you've met the love of your life!

Yet also, simultaneously, not interested in a quick shag or a serious relationship where there would visas/moving involved. So what are you considering?!

I’ve not at all said that I’m considering anything! I’ve said above I’ve not even said yes to dinner yet..

I am just genuinely interested in the stories and experiences that others have had. That’s all.

OP posts:
Tagyoureit · 29/08/2025 21:37

"is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious?"

No!!

Charabanc · 29/08/2025 21:37

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

Oh come off it. Time for some reals. They try it on with every woman they think can get them out of there.

meganorks · 29/08/2025 21:36

You sound like you've completely lost your head already. You met a couple of days ago, hes asked you to dinner and you think you've met the love of your life!

Yet also, simultaneously, not interested in a quick shag or a serious relationship where there would visas/moving involved. So what are you considering?!

Swiftie1878 · 29/08/2025 21:35

OMG. Get a grip.

Enjoy dinner, but recognise it’s just a holiday flirtation.

DeeKitch · 29/08/2025 21:35

Don’t go !

Jorge14 · 29/08/2025 21:35

i think it’s prob not genuine to be honest, most likely about money

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

OP posts:
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