Page 26 | Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

theoneortwo · 2025-08-29T20:11:41+00:00

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me. im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family. I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago. I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since. He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive.. This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him. Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens? has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country? I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc. would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds. Thank you ☺️

Digdongdoo · 29/08/2025 22:30

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:20

True! Although I believe she wanted to stay in the UK due to some of her close family members being elderly and poorly. I do remember her saying her partner is not / was not ever keen on coming to the UK, so I don’t know what their situation / agreement is but they are now going through the spouse visa process.

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You realise this isn't an example of a happy ending though right? She's met him, married him but they've yet to live together. Please don't use this as your barometer.

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:29

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:50

@meganorksI get what you mean.

I can’t really put my finger on why I felt like I needed to get to know him when I saw him. It was just an instant gut feeling and attraction, but I’m not naive to the fact that problems can and do occur in situations like this.

Ive seen plenty of horror stories, but also seen first hand plenty of lovely happily ever after.

I am not skipping ahead to that - in this situation - whatsoever but I’m just curious as to how and why people come up with the responses that they do. Some are pro and some are so heavily against and this is why I was curious ☺️

There is no right or wrong answer to this in my opinion, I am just asking for peoples thoughts. I’m going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

Do you not watch the news ? Read magazines? Chat to others? You’re nearly 30 and should know better. Turkish men often target white British women on holiday!’ Thry want a passport to 🇬🇧

Clemdfandango · 29/08/2025 22:29

So you're not going to shag him yet think he'll be quite happy with just going to dinner?...Ohhhh Kaaaayy.

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 22:29

Cornwallchippy · 29/08/2025 22:22

Well since you ask....feel I'm about to be lynched here but met my Turkish husband on holiday 30 years ago. Once I was back in the UK, we had to write letters and speak briefly on a landline phone a couple of times a week in between visits- there was no social media or even texting at that point to keep in touch. He had a great life in Turkey, his own business and zero reason to want a UK visa. My parents were horrified and quite honestly no one had a positive thing to say about my Shirley Valentine romance. They thought I was insane.

He's sat here next to me now in the UK stuffing his face with sunflower seeds (IYKYK) and drinking tea. He's a brill husband (26 years married), father and son in law. Yes there have been tough times (as in any marriage) but in my case taking a massive risk paid off. I'm well aware that there are plenty of rogues out there, and totally agree that if he asks you for money /phone/trainers or tries to control you in any way i'd run for the hills. Trust your gut, make sure you keep your wits about you and enjoy the time you are spending together now. Just stay safe and try not to get carried away X

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Is he as successful here in business as he was in Turkey?

ViciousCurrentBun · 29/08/2025 22:28

My friend from primary school ended up trapped in an overseas country for 16 years as she could not leave unless she left her child behind as they were a citizen of that country, not Turkey I hasten to add.

Relationships are complex but add borders and then it’s just ever harder.

KateShugakIsALegend · 29/08/2025 22:28

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:26

Not necessarily - because as much as I love my parents I’m 29 years old.

That is not to say I AM going, I haven’t decided yet.

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Sorry, was joking.

What was the point of him asking, then?

B0D · 29/08/2025 22:27

If he agrees to split the bill - go for dinner. Only if you can remain completely objective, see what you have in common, think of how to find out what his thoughts are on subject you feel strongly about without giving it away.

TheChosenTwo · 29/08/2025 22:27

3 female friends of mine went out about 10 years ago. 2 of them kept going back together. Turns out they had both met men.
One got married and moved over here with her, had 2dc and knocks her around and bullies her. Kids are terrified of him and she doesn’t know how to get him out of her life.
Other friend was in an 8 year long distance relationship, she was the one travelling backwards and forwards as he wasn’t allowed to travel here (something to do with not having enough money in his account or something?) and she invested a lot of money from a house sale here and bought a beautiful place there. And during Covid found out that he was shagging around when she was back in the U.K., had 2dc and a wife she didn’t know about and lost a load of money selling up again.
So I have very limited experience of relationships with Turkish men, none of my own and 2 from friends but neither of them have turned out well.
Have a fling by all means, enjoy if you do, stay safe.

ThePoliteLion · 29/08/2025 22:26

OP, you seem very needy and too preoccupied with finding “the one”. I suggest that you do some work on yourself - maybe therapy - when you get home. Your highly romantic thoughts/hopes around this stranger are totally out of proportion. And listen to your dad.

Wackadaywideawake · 29/08/2025 22:26

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:50

@meganorksI get what you mean.

I can’t really put my finger on why I felt like I needed to get to know him when I saw him. It was just an instant gut feeling and attraction, but I’m not naive to the fact that problems can and do occur in situations like this.

Ive seen plenty of horror stories, but also seen first hand plenty of lovely happily ever after.

I am not skipping ahead to that - in this situation - whatsoever but I’m just curious as to how and why people come up with the responses that they do. Some are pro and some are so heavily against and this is why I was curious ☺️

There is no right or wrong answer to this in my opinion, I am just asking for peoples thoughts. I’m going to sleep on it and decide tomorrow.

You felt like that because he knows what he’s doing! Professional holiday shaggers know their best angles, which buttons to press, and the power of a well-timed brooding look.

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:26

Teajenny7 · 29/08/2025 22:19

If they love each other and want to be together, she could move to Morocco?

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🙄🙄🙄

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:26

KateShugakIsALegend · 29/08/2025 22:21

But if he asked your Dad's permission, and your Dad said no, isn't that the end of that? 🤔

Not necessarily - because as much as I love my parents I’m 29 years old.

That is not to say I AM going, I haven’t decided yet.

OP posts:

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:25

Tuesdayschild50 · 29/08/2025 22:07

If you know where you are going keep safe that way by your parents knowing as we would here if we were going on a date we would let our friends or somebody know where we are to be safe.
Otherwise enjoy going out for dinner ignore the cynics.

Edited

That’s very poor advise.

She’s not here 🇬🇧though is she. She’s in another country that has a different set of values, culture, language and state religion to us.

we are rightfully concerned and not cynics 💁‍♀️

UnlimitedBacon · 29/08/2025 22:25

The stories like these than end in a happy ever after are sooo rare, op. I know of one woman who did what you did. She had a good job in a creative job in London, went on holiday, met a Greek man and stayed there/married him/had kids etc etc. he spent 20 years chasing women in the exact same way he’d pursued her. In the end she divorced him but had nothing in the UK to return to. And no, he wasn’t overt in his pursuit - he very much made her (and every other woman he tried it with) feel like ‘he’d never felt like this about anyone else’ and she went with it. He was very charming, and tourism is rife for this kind of behaviour. It’s flattering, yes. But it’s very very unlikely to be true love.

JillyGiraffe · 29/08/2025 22:24

How many parents do you think he’s asked whether he can shag their daughter? Whoops, I mean take to dinner… GROSS.

grumpymummy72 · 29/08/2025 22:24

I had a fling with a Syrian waiter in Turkey many, many years back. I didn’t give him any of my details (to his annoyance) when I left but I had an unusual surname and was in the phone book. Many months later I had a phone call from him saying he was in the country (staying with another former tourist) and could he come and visit me. Err, that would be a no.

MacroBetty · 29/08/2025 22:24

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

Yup. Reveals thoughts on women tbh

PInkyStarfish · 29/08/2025 22:24

For goodness sake, you are an adult woman and you really are that gullible?

Just Google Turkish Love Rats or search on Facebook!

Laura95167 · 29/08/2025 22:24

Its fine if its a fling.

If you wanted it to be more its harder now we arent in the EU. I think you have to earn over a threshold (about £30k i think) to sponsor him if you wanted him to come here permanently. There would be a time youd have to support you both.

You could do it. But it will be hard.

And tbh its weird youve jumped to what if its serious based on fanny flutters and an invite to dinner. Be careful

NoisyBiscuit · 29/08/2025 22:23

ElleintheWoods · 29/08/2025 22:07

Everyone is completely overthinking it.

You're on holiday. He's an attractive guy. He invited you to dinner. It's just food and conversation, could become more if you both fancy it. As long as you stay safe, what's there to think about? What would you do otherwise, watch tv in your hotel room? It's exactly the same as if you met someone in the UK.

I've been to dinners/ lunches/ drinks in many countries with so many guys I can't even count. Granted, a lot of it was for work, but also a lot of it for leisure, and never once regretted saying yes to good food and good company.

Just no need to think this will become a LTR, weddings, visas, whatever. Would you think about it this deeply if a nice guy in the UK would ask you for dinner, and start planning a wedding before first date?

You're 29, just go, have fun, live your life. You'll only think about the chances you didn't take.

Sending love from Buenos Aires, and yes, dinner with a gorgeous guy is on tonight's agenda.

I think you are the best friend I’ve never met! Love your response - so joie de vivre 🥰

Enjoy dinner!

goingtotown · 29/08/2025 22:23

soupyspoon · 29/08/2025 21:12

I suspect you'll be one of many OP, sorry

This.

Cornwallchippy · 29/08/2025 22:22

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:35

Thanks all for your comments so far! Really helpful :)

I am going to think about it overnight and let him know tomorrow.

Just out of interest, as this is all new to me… is there ever a time things like this COULD work out and become something serious? has anybody ever had this experience? All I seem to be seeing is that I shouldn’t trust him and he could have multiple other girls on the scene etc.

Again, not doubting this could be the case so I’m not disagreeing, but just curious.

Well since you ask....feel I'm about to be lynched here but met my Turkish husband on holiday 30 years ago. Once I was back in the UK, we had to write letters and speak briefly on a landline phone a couple of times a week in between visits- there was no social media or even texting at that point to keep in touch. He had a great life in Turkey, his own business and zero reason to want a UK visa. My parents were horrified and quite honestly no one had a positive thing to say about my Shirley Valentine romance. They thought I was insane.

He's sat here next to me now in the UK stuffing his face with sunflower seeds (IYKYK) and drinking tea. He's a brill husband (26 years married), father and son in law. Yes there have been tough times (as in any marriage) but in my case taking a massive risk paid off. I'm well aware that there are plenty of rogues out there, and totally agree that if he asks you for money /phone/trainers or tries to control you in any way i'd run for the hills. Trust your gut, make sure you keep your wits about you and enjoy the time you are spending together now. Just stay safe and try not to get carried away X

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:22

BoredZelda · 29/08/2025 22:21

Have you met any men before??

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I was with my ex husband for 6.5 years. We got divorced 2 years ago.

OP posts:

Bumdrops · 29/08/2025 22:22

Iamfree · 29/08/2025 21:14

He wants a British passport or a shag, or if it continues he will turn into a religious mysoginistic pig. Please let us know in the next few months

Bingo

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:22

Charabanc · 29/08/2025 21:35

"Oh look at me, I am humble believable man, I just want to treat your daughter like a princess and get British citizenship"

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This in buckets

my young niece has heard and seen it all through her job. There’s definitely a type of Turkish man who does it - young, good looking, clean, wears flashy but nice clothes. but usually works as a porter/guide/barman…

notice how the Turkish doctors/engineers/ never hang around trying to snaffle a British lady? 🤔