Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

But it's good to know the societal norms of people you are considering dating.

Especially if they have shown signs of adhering to those norms!

Yes this in spades....

Bloody hell, OP.

Me - aged 14, family holiday in Turkey. Accosted by various sleazy Turkish waiters, and i snogged a few - but very innocently and under the watchful eye of my very protective dad. I also nearly went off with the cabin "boy" (*aged 25!) from the gullet ship that was near ours at the time. He was really quite good looking and a bloody good kisser but definitely a sleazy perv really, who should've known better than to chat up young innocent English girls on holiday 😉 😆😳

Anyway, my point being, this isn't something new. All Turkish waiters etc are most likely to be pretty smarmy around "beautiful English ladies" and it's a tale as old as the hills.

They just want a visa, of course. And a quick shag.

Run away. And don't do a me and give them your address, or you will get a letter a decade later, declaring undying love... 😳😳😳

Are you mad???

There are loads of British women married to Turkish guys living out there very happily.
You seem to have your wits about you in general.
It probably will come to nothing but you could have some fun on the way.
Him asking your parents could be good or bad.
Parents in control-bad. Him having cultural respect for older generations-good.
You know the flags to look out for.
It's not likely to last but it could do. Just don't get financially involved and DON'T get pregnant.

But the fact that he’s going ‘above your head’ to ask your dad says to me that he doesn’t really value the fact that you’re a grown adult who can make your own decisions and would in fact rather approach someone who he seems to think ‘controls’ you.

I know there are cultural differences and that this is pretty common in some countries but you’re 29 yet he’s still bypassed you because he feels that your dad should have the overall final say

I’m experiencing an intense case of second-hand embarrassment just thinking about OP possibly dining with this crafty man.

God this is horrendous.

'He was the great love of her life you know.'
'Oh, dulling,' said my mother, sadly, 'One always thinks that. Every, every time.'
(Nancy Mitford, 'The Pursuit of Love')

100% this. Someone new next week...

Iv had holidays in Turkey and Tunisia and the men are all over the British Girls i hated it because their so slimey and you know what their doing i no longer holiday in these places for that reason.

Oh dear, here we go.
Step away from Turkish men!

I know! The kids & teens in my family know about Kurds, where they’re from and how they have a unique identity.

My primary school children & teen nephews and nieces are more savvy then 29 old OP.

Sounds like OP been living in a bubble 🙄

you can’t be too sure , he could be up to no good or just a nice guy.. Years ago I went to Turkey with a friend on holiday. Two young single girls and we met two young Turkish guys, who were best mates. Genuinely nice guys and didn’t try it on with us at all, we just hanged out and had a good time on holiday. Now we still have them on Facebook 😅

Anyone I know who met someone serious abroad met them at a shared activity or interest, like a museum or convention.

You met him while he was working as a tour guide and didn't even talk to him properly, so there is no indication that you will have anything in common.

I've lived in Turkey and they have a very different standard of dating (and marriage) than Western Europe. Cheating is much more common. And men are much more misogynistic. This is shown in him asking your parents for permission to take you to dinner, which he will absolutely think is more than dinner if you agree to go.

If you did just want to hook up I would say go for it, but as that is not what you want I would avoid.

Dating is terrible even if you do it because you are hopeful to meet a partner. Not really fun, to me at least. I wouldn’t go if I have zero hopes for this to turn into anything.
And you shouldn’t- have any hopes, that is.

Love. You only need to read "Take a Breàk" magazine" ...unless it's no longer published..

Yes. He's worked his backside off, did his ACCA (accountancy) qualification years ago and is now in a senior management position.

He asked your parents permission? Ick.

I can’t believe your parents actually answered with a yes and a no. If a man asked me and my partner for permission to take our daughter out, he’d be told it’s 2025, it’s her choice, but fuck off from us. I’d then advise my daughter to stay the fuck away from men like that.

You sound naive, vulnerable, desperate or all of those things to even be considering this.

You’ve asked for opinions, but it feels like you’re dismissing each one. If that’s the case, I’m not sure what you’re hoping to get from the thread. There are lots of kind and helpful suggestions here, so it might be worth taking them on board.

Someone recommended "Love rats of marmaris". There are also FB groups for English women married to Kurdish men that may also be worth a read.

Brilliant- do this!

Fair enough, maybe I should have asked what century HE'S living in!

Well Put. 🏆Do you work in this field? I ask cos my niece does and she sounds like you! You’re both Much more educated then me of course!