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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
MummytoE · 29/08/2025 23:12

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

Agree. It's so cringeworthy. Similar to asking dad's permission for marriage.... What year is it???

SGBK4862 · 29/08/2025 23:11

Go for it if you want to, but try not to take it too seriously. Flings are fun to look back on. Your parents' different responses are very predictable. I'm on team mum!

SquishedMallow · 29/08/2025 23:10

There was once an English man. He went to Thailand. He met a simply lovely thai lady.......

Pieceofpurplesky · 29/08/2025 23:10

Go out for dinner. Have some fun. Just keep your wits about you and don't expect a fairy tale. Watch Shirley Valentine before you go!

Amybelle88 · 29/08/2025 23:10

Love rats of marmaris on Facebook. It’ll tell you all you need to know.

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 23:10

Cornwallchippy · 29/08/2025 22:51

Yes. He's worked his backside off, did his ACCA (accountancy) qualification years ago and is now in a senior management position.

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Fantastic!

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:09

This reply has been deleted

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At this point I’m honestly starting to think you’ve just got a bee in your bonnet, Emma..

Who said there’s an age limit on what age you must immediately cease going on holiday with your parents?!

I have plenty of other trips with friends and other family members. God forbid I wanted to take a holiday with my parents!

OP posts:
SwirlingAroundSleep · 29/08/2025 23:08

I lived and worked in Turkey and honestly there were many very honest and wonderful men.

one of my work colleagues met her husband whilst travelling at a bus stop. They hit it off, went long distance for a good few years then married and she moved to Turkey. 15 years or so later they’re still together with two adorable kids.

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:08

ViciousCurrentBun · 29/08/2025 22:28

My friend from primary school ended up trapped in an overseas country for 16 years as she could not leave unless she left her child behind as they were a citizen of that country, not Turkey I hasten to add.

Relationships are complex but add borders and then it’s just ever harder.

Iran? Pakistan?

anonymous98 · 29/08/2025 23:08

This reply has been deleted

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What's wrong with going on holiday with your parents?

Purplethingymebobs · 29/08/2025 23:08

LochKatrine · 29/08/2025 23:03

You're not categorising people by their nationality, though, you're informing yourself of cultural norms.
He's Kurdish, which is a whole other thing. Look it up..

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Yes, going to dinner with him will make it seem like you're 'easy,' as in, available or willing without much effort. Never in a million years would he approach a fellow Kurdish female in this way. You are the easy English tourist. I am cringing so hard.

Namechangerage · 29/08/2025 23:07

I know someone who married her tour guide in Cuba, still together and live there. So it’s possible but for every genuine story there are probably loads of people scammed. Proceed with extreme caution OP! Your dad sounds sensible.

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:07

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Starlight7080 · 29/08/2025 23:07

You will be just the one from this tour . Once the next lot of people arrive he will find another.
Listen to your dad .
He will just be interested in sex

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:05

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 29/08/2025 23:02

This thread is nothing but a list of stereotypes and xenophobia.

As OP clarified, he isn't actually Turkish

Best you do Your research. 👍

Clemdfandango · 29/08/2025 23:04

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:32

But out of interest (again I want to stress I may not even go for dinner I’ve not decided yet!!!)

would you say this to someone going for dinner in the UK with a fellow Brit? Would you automatically jump to the fact he’s asked her out for dinner because he wants to sleep with her?

Not trying to argue at all, I am just genuinely curious as to why it’s so different for other nationalities.

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The culture in Turkey is completely different to that in the UK for starters. This Turk will be asking British women out for dinner probably on a daily basis.

You're in a foreign country on holiday. Do you know how you would get out of a sticky situation, should it arise? Back home you could 'ask for Angela' at the bar if you felt unsafe, or run out and jump on a bus. You'd be among people who speak the same language, so you can't really compare, however, a fellow Brit could just as likely want to get his leg over but as I've said, without the language and cultural barrier, it's not the same.

LochKatrine · 29/08/2025 23:03

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:56

I’ve been in one relationship. I’m new to dating.

to be honest I haven’t looked into the different nationalities etc of others because I haven’t ever needed to. I do find it really distasteful to categorise people by their nationality though.

I’m not saying that to stand up for / back up this man.. after all, I don’t yet know him and I may not want to.. I just don’t like categorising nationalities of people and tarring them l with the same brush, without knowing them as individuals first.

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You're not categorising people by their nationality, though, you're informing yourself of cultural norms.
He's Kurdish, which is a whole other thing. Look it up..

DiscoBob · 29/08/2025 23:02

If you don't have any interest in sleeping with him you shouldn't bother going for dinner as he'll just constantly try it on.

yellowbuzzybee · 29/08/2025 23:02

Go for dinner! It’s just dinner! But I wouldn’t consider a relationship with him long-term, nor would I be sleeping with him While on holiday

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 29/08/2025 23:02

This thread is nothing but a list of stereotypes and xenophobia.

As OP clarified, he isn't actually Turkish

Cherryicecreamx · 29/08/2025 23:02

You're on holiday.. go have fun! Have dinner together if you like him. But any sort of "holiday romance" I'd leave on holiday! I'd tell your family too of your whereabouts for that safety peace of mind!

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:01

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 29/08/2025 22:59

And the post above mine said "do not sleep with this man". To which my comment was a direct reply.

About those reading skills...?

A holiday shag is great. Many users here clearly need one.

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I have no idea what you’re talking about. 💁‍♀️
you sound confused…

ScurryfungeSpuddle · 29/08/2025 23:01

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:56

I’ve been in one relationship. I’m new to dating.

to be honest I haven’t looked into the different nationalities etc of others because I haven’t ever needed to. I do find it really distasteful to categorise people by their nationality though.

I’m not saying that to stand up for / back up this man.. after all, I don’t yet know him and I may not want to.. I just don’t like categorising nationalities of people and tarring them l with the same brush, without knowing them as individuals first.

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Ok don't then.

Just categorise him as a bloke, doing a Summer job and meeting 1000s of women tourists.

That should put things into perspective here.

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 29/08/2025 22:59

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:08

It’s not about that. She mentioned deeper/long term stuff then that if you bothered to read the post properly. 🙄

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And the post above mine said "do not sleep with this man". To which my comment was a direct reply.

About those reading skills...?

A holiday shag is great. Many users here clearly need one.

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 22:59

DressOrSkirt · 29/08/2025 22:52

Anyone I know who met someone serious abroad met them at a shared activity or interest, like a museum or convention.

You met him while he was working as a tour guide and didn't even talk to him properly, so there is no indication that you will have anything in common.

I've lived in Turkey and they have a very different standard of dating (and marriage) than Western Europe. Cheating is much more common. And men are much more misogynistic. This is shown in him asking your parents for permission to take you to dinner, which he will absolutely think is more than dinner if you agree to go.

If you did just want to hook up I would say go for it, but as that is not what you want I would avoid.

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Bear in mind Turkish men would not approach Turkish women (unless there lady’s of the night) or allow other Turkish men to approach there sisters/mums. People forget that it’s a Muslim country. The men make look modern but they literally have a culture and religion that doesn’t value women for want of a better word. They may even regard you as cheap as you’re not got a hijab and think Dinner out equals sex

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