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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/08/2025 23:20

If you want to me up with him, do so but stay in public places like restaurant / bar / cafe at all times.

Don’t go anywhere you don’t feel safe.

I don’t suppose he’s after a British passport as much as a shag/ fling tbh!

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:19

ksbeikeb · 29/08/2025 23:16

So much xenophobia on this thread. As if all foreign men can’t be trusted, FFS.

But OP you’re getting very carried away. It’s just dinner, not a proposal! Chill!

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 23:19

Purplethingymebobs · 29/08/2025 23:08

Yes, going to dinner with him will make it seem like you're 'easy,' as in, available or willing without much effort. Never in a million years would he approach a fellow Kurdish female in this way. You are the easy English tourist. I am cringing so hard.

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Plenty on Reddit, type in Kurdish husbands

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:19

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Are you okay Emma? Seriously..

OP posts:
Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:18

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AlpacaMittens · 29/08/2025 23:18

Pinching myself at the numerous "he wants a British passport" posts... Crikey, you really do think that all of us forrins are gagging for the magical British passport. No wonder Nigel will be your next PM.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/08/2025 23:18

First google entry about Kurdish mens attitude to women

The Kurdish soci- ety is a patriarchal system in which customs, traditions, and even many written laws favor men. Women have relatively little power and freedom, gender roles are quite segregated, and women's sexual behavior is guarded jealously (e.g., Othman, 2011).

MirrorMirrorontheFall · 29/08/2025 23:18

Asking your parents for permission to take you for dinner, like they own you?

It’s a no from me.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:18

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:16

Don’t think so sunshine. You’ve fallen for the cliche dinner invite in turkey, have no idea many Turkish men target white British lady’s for 🇬🇧passport, Won’t listen to your dad and act a bit like a lovesick teen.

i been on the planet a lot longer then you sunshine👍, have 3 kids, soon to be a nanna and have all
sorts of experiences in different parts of uk. The only thing I lack is education but so what as educated people don’t always have what I have - a big family and common sense. 👍.

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Well I sincerely hope you don’t holiday with your children and grandchildren then!

OP posts:
Frige · 29/08/2025 23:18

Us Turkish women know exactly how Turk men behave. Bless you 🤣🤣🤣

Thisgrillisonfire · 29/08/2025 23:17

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:16

Don’t think so sunshine. You’ve fallen for the cliche dinner invite in turkey, have no idea many Turkish men target white British lady’s for 🇬🇧passport, Won’t listen to your dad and act a bit like a lovesick teen.

i been on the planet a lot longer then you sunshine👍, have 3 kids, soon to be a nanna and have all
sorts of experiences in different parts of uk. The only thing I lack is education but so what as educated people don’t always have what I have - a big family and common sense. 👍.

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Ummmmmmm….

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:17

ksbeikeb · 29/08/2025 23:16

So much xenophobia on this thread. As if all foreign men can’t be trusted, FFS.

But OP you’re getting very carried away. It’s just dinner, not a proposal! Chill!

🤦‍♀️

Thisgrillisonfire · 29/08/2025 23:16

Grow up. You can’t be in a relationship as you live in different countries. And you don’t know each other. Therefore he wants to have sex with you. If you don’t want to do that with him, why would you even bother wasting a night of your holiday to go to dinner with him?

ksbeikeb · 29/08/2025 23:16

So much xenophobia on this thread. As if all foreign men can’t be trusted, FFS.

But OP you’re getting very carried away. It’s just dinner, not a proposal! Chill!

Emmafuller79 · 29/08/2025 23:16

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:09

At this point I’m honestly starting to think you’ve just got a bee in your bonnet, Emma..

Who said there’s an age limit on what age you must immediately cease going on holiday with your parents?!

I have plenty of other trips with friends and other family members. God forbid I wanted to take a holiday with my parents!

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Don’t think so sunshine. You’ve fallen for the cliche dinner invite in turkey, have no idea many Turkish men target white British lady’s for 🇬🇧passport, Won’t listen to your dad and act a bit like a lovesick teen.

i been on the planet a lot longer then you sunshine👍, have 3 kids, soon to be a nanna and have all
sorts of experiences in different parts of uk. The only thing I lack is education but so what as educated people don’t always have what I have - a big family and common sense. 👍.

Artmumcreative · 29/08/2025 23:16

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:13

i guess it depends on culture, roots and upbringing. In the UK of course it’s abnormal - but maybe in his culture it’s deemed as respectful.

I personally would still love for my to-be husband to ask for my parents permission for marriage. Maybe that’s just me 😅

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I'd have been mortified if my DH had asked my dad's permission to marry me.

DBSFstupid · 29/08/2025 23:16

B1anche · 29/08/2025 21:51

But you also said "I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen."

So why are you asking us if it could work out when you have previously said that you have friends who have had successful relationships in these circumstances? 🤷‍♀️

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Indeed.

Blueuggboots · 29/08/2025 23:15

I met a Turkish guy on holiday when I was a teenager. He was a couple of years older (at uni). He was lovely. Very respectful and we had a few snogs. He never tried anything on. We wrote to each other for about a year after I came home. He never asked for money or a visa.
Go for dinner. Be sensible where you go as you would with a stranger on a date in the UK.

happygertie · 29/08/2025 23:15

As long as you are aware of the risks and the possibility of a hidden agenda then there’s no harm going for dinner and seeing if your opinion changes after that. Not every turkish man is chasing a white western woman for a visa. They will be genuine men out there, but there is a risk- as we most popular holiday destinations that some men will be after you for a quick shag or ticket out of there! Enjoy a meal, you’re on hols

Frige · 29/08/2025 23:15

Us Turkish women know exactly how Turk men behave. Bless you 🤣🤣🤣

Artmumcreative · 29/08/2025 23:14

Take your dad with you! Alternatively, don't go. The men in the UK are bad enough but at least it's harder for them to do anything untoward after a first date (as long as you're in public, get a taxi home, meet friends, etc). Don't give him your address back home. A wise woman once told me to always protect my heart: probably avoid sex, but if you have sex with him, don't orgasm because that'll release hormones that make you feel love.

SquishedMallow · 29/08/2025 23:13

I mean.... If he's a looker and you want some fun and accept it for what it is, use protection and have a good few nights.

Be prepared though that he'll get clingy because he'll think he's snared you good and proper.

(Controversial opinion alert) I never think woman can genuinely have a casual fling without developing the feels though. (As the younguns would say) So... Probably got disaster and heartbreak for you written all over it.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:13

MummytoE · 29/08/2025 23:12

Agree. It's so cringeworthy. Similar to asking dad's permission for marriage.... What year is it???

Edited
Show quote history

i guess it depends on culture, roots and upbringing. In the UK of course it’s abnormal - but maybe in his culture it’s deemed as respectful.

I personally would still love for my to-be husband to ask for my parents permission for marriage. Maybe that’s just me 😅

OP posts:
AardvarkaKedavra · 29/08/2025 23:13

Country of origin does play a role, though. If you meet a man from a country that is similar in wealth to your own, it's less likely he's using you to get a pass into a more desirable location. His job, working with tourists every day, also tickles my scam-o-meter, I'm afraid. It's not like you locked eyes in a cafe or something. He knew you were a tourist, probably could tell you were British. I'd listen to dear old Dad on this one.

DBSFstupid · 29/08/2025 23:13

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 22:04

I just want to clear up some of the confusion and comments here.

I am not in any way looking for any kind of relationship or skipping ahead of myself - I am merely asking the questions I am interested in knowing the answer to.

In that case OP why exactly are you so interested in peoples views on here? You keep repeating this. What do you hope to gain by the replies you have received exactly?

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