Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

Oh. I was all for it when I thought you fancied a holiday fling with a sexy Turkish man. Less hopeful about long distance relationship with someone you've known 4 days. Asking your parents is so weird (from both of you). I wouldn't bother it sounds like it'll just end up with you catching feelings and being sad.

Anyone with ethics in the tourist industry does NOT make a play for the clients. It is sleaze 101.

"no oral/anal" 🤮

You're not selling it. Bring back the 50s 🙈

Ew

But you don’t seem to be taking on board other people’s thoughts and instead would rather call them ‘racist’ for merely pointing out something that you cannot seem to see and don’t not want to see because it doesn’t suit your desired outcome of a ‘happy ending’. I’d say from your responses on this thread that you still intend to go against the majority of advice given. So not much point coming on here asking for advice.

They have tge permanent "the look of love in their eyes" they are well versed in it
I fell for a man like this many years ago at work,it floored me. We didn't have a relationship and I later found out from colleagues that he'd done this with many moments in the workplace who had subsequently had to leave their jobs.
For some blokes it's a power kick and for others it's about exploiting women for money or citizenship.

I don’t think it’s so much that he’s Turkish or Kurdish as much as it that he’s a tour guide and you’re on holiday. Personally, I don’t think he’s necessarily looking for a passport, but I’d bet my last pound he’s looking for a fumble!

And I’d say this regardless of what country you’re holidaying in!

Have you led a very sheltered life, OP? This can’t be the first time a tour guide, waiter, barman etc has tried it on whilst on holiday?

I don’t think any of us can say what his intentions are. But I do feel you are in a vulnerable position. You’ve just come out of a long term relationship and the way you are framing this is over romanticised- you just knew you had to get to know him and your mind is racing ahead to how this might work as a relationship in the long term. You mentioned friends in relationships where they met people abroad but never thought it’d happen to you. Slow down! Nothing has happened yet. You’ve just exchanged messages and might go out to dinner. Of course people meet in all kinds of ways and some relationships work out and some do not. But you need to adjust your mindset as you are massively over thinking this to the extent you’ve posted on here. Your approach is one that makes me worry about you and I mean this kindly. Coming out of a relationship is hard and it can be easy to jump into something new just because you want something to fill the gap. So act with caution. All the best.

Some things really aren't racism.

It's awareness of reality.

Denying that reality can put us in danger.

Most stereotypes have grains of truth in them. And romance scams are a thing and we've established certain demographics surrounding those that practice these scams. That's not xenophobia. It's just a reality.

You don't stop your daughters or sons being mindful of their safety just to avoid xenophobia.

And nobody assumes all bloody Thai women and Turkish or Kurdish men are all wanting to shag Brits for a passport. But, it is something to bear in mind when speedy romantic gestures occur on a holiday.

I don't think you are understanding what people are telling you. The issue is not so much as his nationality, it is how and where you met him, and how common the romance scams are in this scenario. That's why people are telling you to have fun / have dinner if you want to but be careful.

And how could you say no red flags when the guy asked your parents' permission to take you out. I grew up with Turkish & Kurdish people, and would never date a man who's asked my parent's permission to take me to dinner. Please move your bar much much higher.

It's not about tarnishing people with a brush, or saying they are all bad.

People are just pointing out that he's from a very different culture, and has so far displayed that he adheres to that culture, so you should educate yourself on it.

This.
First sensible post in the thread.

Enjoy yourself, but be sensible. Public places only, keep an eye on what goes in your drinks, don't get blind drunk.

Personally I think you can go for dinner nothing wrong with this and religion/ culture can be barriers in relationships but many work and survive. Someone asked if he is muslim, why should that matter if anything of he is a true Muslim he will treat her like a queen. I wouldn't delve too much on this date just go and enjoy it and your holiday but keep safe.

Nothing wrong with a holiday fling, but your first line "I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me" & talk of friends marrying holiday romances, suggests that you are already thinking this could be more than a fling.

Which makes you vulnerable - because you are just out of a serious relationship, and these tour guides/waiters/barmen etc are highly practised in the art of seducing English women - whether it be for a quick shag, money, gifts or a British passport. He will be able to put on an act of being your dream man, your soulmate, of adoring the ground you walk on - you will not see the real him.

I am 100% with your Dad.

For real. I mean they are so ignorant they think marrying a man means he automatically gets a passport or even the ability to live here.

Use protection.

OP already knows she’s going out for dinner with this guy but just wanted validation from everyone. So despite the majority of opinions and advice she will go, he will charm the pants off her, literally, and will fall for him.
My advice is run for the hills.

Circumstances isn't it ? Or are you hard of thinking?

Do you understand that romance scams are a 'thing' : Thai women / fat balding European men (they'll play the long game - kudos ) Turkish/Kurdish men and big dumpy rough white Brits ? It is a thing.

Luckily most of us have an ounce of common sense and can figure out the circumstances in which the romance has evolved in.

Just seen he is in fact Kurdish hahaha! This just gets better 🤣🤣🙈

Liberal left , wet behind the ears per chance?

It's not xenophobia.

It's reality.

If a uni grad Turk asked out a uni grad Brit. Equal playing field.

Tour guide in Turkey asks out British girl (customer )very quickly in a destination known for romance scam behaviour and a rat is smelled.

If you want to be naive all to not look "xenophobic" (surprised you haven't used the R word, I'll give you credit for that ) then crack on
But don't expect the rest of us to follow suit.

You're 29 and he asked your parents if he could take you to dinner!?

“would you say this to someone going for dinner in the UK with a fellow Brit?”- the difference being that a good reason to go out for dinner in the UK with a fellow Brit is because it might lead to another date, then maybe another and eventually a relationship (because you both live in the same place) - not the same for a holiday romance!