Page 20 | Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

OneFunBrickNewt · 30/08/2025 00:02

Iamfree · 29/08/2025 21:14

He wants a British passport or a shag, or if it continues he will turn into a religious mysoginistic pig. Please let us know in the next few months

Ironic given that your post is full of outdated racist and Islamophobic tropes.
He's Turkish, not a member of ISIS!

Kumquatzest · 30/08/2025 00:02

I'd just assume he finds you attractive and wants to fuck.

No Turkish man ever asked me for a sham marriage or money so I wonder how common that really is.

OneKhakiFish · 30/08/2025 00:00

People are just trying to guide you from doing things you will probably later regret if you go ahead and meet him, with respect this is no Mills n Boon, if he's such a good catch, why is he "single" although doubt that, you sound very vulnerable in how you are coming across, and would easily catch feelings for him. It's just talk on his side, you'll be getting on your plane home and he'll be side eying the newbies

merrymelody · 30/08/2025 00:00

Go and enjoy yourself!

SurelyNotShirley · 29/08/2025 23:59

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

Your Dad is right. There's red flags in this situation for a reason. Read all the news articles about women who have fallen in love with a man abroad (Turkey, Egypt etc...). My friend was the same as you, ended up marrying him, then he showed his true colours once he sunk his claws in and got his Visa for the UK. Abused her and her young daughter. Beat her black and blue...but he was the loveliest man with no red flags, at the start. They're all lovely when they want to get in your pants and your bank.

FrodoBiggins · 29/08/2025 23:59

LeavesOnTrees · 29/08/2025 23:50

I actually know some Kurdish Turk men through work (not in the tourist industry).

They are lovely, hardworking and honest people. They already have European passports so aren't looking to use anyone for that.
They all married quite young within their communities and are quite traditional Muslims. The wives stay at home raising children, doing housework and are very hospitable.
They've told me that it is hard for the Kurds in Turkey as their language isn't recognised and I think they are treated quite badly (one of the reasons why the ones I know left and came to Europe).
I'd love to visit their region and I've been invitied but it's near the Syrian border so I won't be going anytime soon.

Did I miss Turkey joining the EU??

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:57

CatAsstrophe · 29/08/2025 23:57

He asked them if they’d mind if he took me out for a few ours for dinner (his exact words)

He asked, your mum said yes, and your dad said no, yet he's still ploughing ahead with his plans to take you out, despite your dad saying no.

That says a lot about him.

Fake respect, asking your parents for their permission, not getting full permission and just disregarding your dad's wishes.

He sounds like a arrogant dickhead.

I’m a 29 year old woman.. I can decide myself if I want to go somewhere or not.

OP posts:

FrodoBiggins · 29/08/2025 23:57

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:45

I didn’t ask my parents permission - and wouldn’t 🤣 I don’t have that kind of relationship with them.. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. He asked them if they’d mind if he took me out for a few ours for dinner (his exact words) - and was concerned as I’m holidaying with them and he didn’t want to disrupt any potential plans.

I haven’t agreed to go, nor have I disagreed.. I said I will see how I feel about it tomorrow and let him know.

I am also not in any way planing long distance relationships or commitments… I was asking some questions I was curious about.

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If you're not after a one night stand or a long distance relationship, what are you hoping to get out of the date? Free dinner and an education on the Kurdish diaspora?

CatAsstrophe · 29/08/2025 23:57

He asked them if they’d mind if he took me out for a few ours for dinner (his exact words)

He asked, your mum said yes, and your dad said no, yet he's still ploughing ahead with his plans to take you out, despite your dad saying no.

That says a lot about him.

Fake respect, asking your parents for their permission, not getting full permission and just disregarding your dad's wishes.

He sounds like a arrogant dickhead.

catlover123456789 · 29/08/2025 23:56

You may not have seen any red flags with him, but you immediately wondering about a future together, visas, talking about the he could be the 'love of your life', and you haven't even been for dinner yet..... that's odd. Calm down. Go for dinner and enjoy it.

My first kiss was on holiday when I was in my teens. In my mind he will forever stay as a gorgeous 18 year old who, for one evening, showered me with compliments, was so into me, and made me so happy. The day after the kiss, I went home, and I never saw him or spoke to him again. It's a happy memory I treasure forever... and it remains firmly in the past as just that - a happy memory.

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:53

THEDEACON · 29/08/2025 23:53

Get a grip -your biological clock is ticking and approaching 30 is affecting your logic Listen to Dad!

What a strange comment 😆

OP posts:

THEDEACON · 29/08/2025 23:53

Get a grip -your biological clock is ticking and approaching 30 is affecting your logic Listen to Dad!

the5thgoldengirl · 29/08/2025 23:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:51

LeavesOnTrees · 29/08/2025 23:50

I actually know some Kurdish Turk men through work (not in the tourist industry).

They are lovely, hardworking and honest people. They already have European passports so aren't looking to use anyone for that.
They all married quite young within their communities and are quite traditional Muslims. The wives stay at home raising children, doing housework and are very hospitable.
They've told me that it is hard for the Kurds in Turkey as their language isn't recognised and I think they are treated quite badly (one of the reasons why the ones I know left and came to Europe).
I'd love to visit their region and I've been invitied but it's near the Syrian border so I won't be going anytime soon.

Yes this is correct. Turks don’t accept the Kurds. There’s a big issue there and yes their language isn’t accepted.

OP posts:

LeavesOnTrees · 29/08/2025 23:50

I actually know some Kurdish Turk men through work (not in the tourist industry).

They are lovely, hardworking and honest people. They already have European passports so aren't looking to use anyone for that.
They all married quite young within their communities and are quite traditional Muslims. The wives stay at home raising children, doing housework and are very hospitable.
They've told me that it is hard for the Kurds in Turkey as their language isn't recognised and I think they are treated quite badly (one of the reasons why the ones I know left and came to Europe).
I'd love to visit their region and I've been invitied but it's near the Syrian border so I won't be going anytime soon.

whitewineandsun · 29/08/2025 23:50

meganorks · 29/08/2025 21:36

You sound like you've completely lost your head already. You met a couple of days ago, hes asked you to dinner and you think you've met the love of your life!

Yet also, simultaneously, not interested in a quick shag or a serious relationship where there would visas/moving involved. So what are you considering?!

This. It's a bit confusing what you're after. Him not so much.

IllBeLookingAtTheMoon · 29/08/2025 23:47

Cinaferna · 29/08/2025 23:41

Anyone with ethics in the tourist industry does NOT make a play for the clients. It is sleaze 101.

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Gosh. Someone should report him to the ethics committee at the Tour Operators Standards Society (TOSS).

randomchap · 29/08/2025 23:46

So every couple of weeks this chap gets a fling with a random foreign woman.

He's got his lines, mannerisms, and attitude down to a fine art.

Getting his end away, and the massive ego boost of a new woman every fortnight or so

He's not the long term prospect you think he is, but he might be fun for the holiday. Go into it with your eyes open

Pastelpoppy · 29/08/2025 23:46

I haven’t read the whole thread so I’m sure that similar has been said. I warn any young woman going to Turkey about the men there, especially when you meet them in a situation where they are working and you’re a tourist. I have watched these guys be extremely charming and ‘do everything right’ and I have also watched my friends be completely taken in by them and picked up the pieces when they realised they’d been played. Turkish men seem to have a certain impression of British women and I’d be extremely wary, I wouldn’t go to dinner with just him. I’m sure they are not all like that, but think how many women he’s met in his line of work, surely you’re not the first he’s asked out for dinner.

Tangerinenets · 29/08/2025 23:45

I used to work in Turkey. If it’s just a holiday romance you’re after then go ahead but most Turkish men go after British women for one of two things. He either just wants a shag or he wants to come to the uk.

Original poster

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:45

FrodoBiggins · 29/08/2025 23:42

Oh. I was all for it when I thought you fancied a holiday fling with a sexy Turkish man. Less hopeful about long distance relationship with someone you've known 4 days. Asking your parents is so weird (from both of you). I wouldn't bother it sounds like it'll just end up with you catching feelings and being sad.

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I didn’t ask my parents permission - and wouldn’t 🤣 I don’t have that kind of relationship with them.. I’m an adult and can make my own decisions. He asked them if they’d mind if he took me out for a few ours for dinner (his exact words) - and was concerned as I’m holidaying with them and he didn’t want to disrupt any potential plans.

I haven’t agreed to go, nor have I disagreed.. I said I will see how I feel about it tomorrow and let him know.

I am also not in any way planing long distance relationships or commitments… I was asking some questions I was curious about.

OP posts:

PiggyPigalle · 29/08/2025 23:45

It's not racist to say we have a reputation for being as easy as they are traditional.

Justtryingthis · 29/08/2025 23:44

I’ve not RTT but can I direct you to the Facebook page “Love Rats of Marmaris” …..

Frige · 29/08/2025 23:44

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 23:29

See this is the type of comment I don’t understand.. not trying to pick an argument I’m just genuinely trying to understand the thought process here.

surely there would be outrage and utter uproar if a thread was made by a different nationality speaking this way about Brits? British aren’t angels either - there’s cheating, misogyny etc in every culture and every religion. There’s good and there’s bad in every country.

Surely it’s bordering on racism to be speaking this way about a certain group of people?

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As I said previously I'm Turkish myself and know exactly how Turk men behave, especially with British women. It's funny to me. A tale as old as time. To then read this man is actually Kurdish is the more funnier. So no, not racism just reality and experience. If you don't understand, you don't understand. It's okay.

Zebra2024 · 29/08/2025 23:44

Oh go and have a free tea (make sure your parents know where you are at all times). Just take it as one night of fun and that’s all.