Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

I know someone who was in your situation and sadly he was just after money

Lol 😄 Love this!

Many many years ago, a friend of mine had a Turkish boyfriend, very handsome, very polite. We were around 18 and he was around 21,22. All went well til he asked her to get engaged (then they could have sex🙄) She was going to say yes, til the night he said she must be a virgin on her wedding night, so he expected anal sex instead… she was horrified and she ended up physically fighting him off whilst locked in the back of his car! He got very nasty, she was badly bruised. They do have very different ideas in that part of the world, OP. Please be careful 🌺

I dont even have to read your post, please don't get sucked in!!

He will be very charming, you will be drawn in, just like all the others before you and he likely has a wife and children that he will travel back to when the season is over.

Stay safe.

How old is he? If he’s over 27 he’s most likely already got kids with his Turkish girlfriend/wife:

I would worry that he asked your parents purely so you thought he was being a ‘gentleman’ and therefore isn’t genuine, if he is willing to go even when your dad said no he didn’t really care for his answer.
He probably has many tourist’s numbers saved to offer dinner with them.
If it was me, I’d also worry if I went that my dad would spend his evening worrying about me (and I’m way older than you!!) and spoil his holiday.
But you are 29 and can make
up You’re own mind, just please be safe, and I’d say that no matter what country you’re in and going out with any man from any background!

Quite a few of us haven’t even mentioned his nationality. Quite a few of us think it has more to do with the fact that a clearly naive 29 yr old is talking about having met someone and is asking for examples where similar relationships have worked out, when all that has happened is that some creep who works in a holiday resort with a constant stream of women coming through it, has asked her out for dinner.

Perhaps if you weren’t so busy being outraged by the posts that do mention his nationality, you’d see that you’ve maybe given her some pretty shoddy advice considering she isn’t interested in casual sex with him.

Ignore the racists OP - nobody’s behaviour and personality is defined by their nationality or ethnicity.

Go out and enjoy yourself!

I completely understand why you’re feeling torn. Meeting someone new is exciting, but it’s also totally natural to feel a bit nervous, especially with your dad expressing concern.

If you do decide to go, just take a few precautions since you’re not on home turf: meet in a public place, maybe suggest lunch or coffee instead of dinner, and arrange to meet your parents afterwards.

A person from a foreign country would be absolutely nutty to be gagging for a British passport. We are going to shit and our leaders are a succession of morons. (Which is precisely why Farage is looking like the next PM).

That said, people are arriving by the hundred here every day illegally, with thousands more taking legal routes to getting British passports. I don’t know why, there are much, much better countries to migrate to. But the fact is that people are still doing it. Why, who knows, but they are. And with that in mind, OP should be wary.

Anyway I don’t think OP should go out with this man. Tour guides are obviously very personable by nature - it’s necessary for the job. So I wouldn’t be swayed by that. He asked her parents and she’s nearly 30. She might look 20 though, who knows. I think it’s perfectly fine for her to holiday with her parents, but it could have made her appear significantly younger than she is.

In any case the potential downsides are all described on this thread so I just wouldn’t go there at all.

Does he have a big willy?

You sound oddly starry-eyed. Are you sure you're 29 and not 19??

To answer your questions:

1. Yes, I've enjoyed many foreign romances, thank you.
2. I do have English friends in amazingly happy, fulfilled relationships with non-EU men they met on holiday (and went through the visa ordeal).
3. I have other English friends who attempted this and ended up being cheated and/or abused, including one who had to perform a terrifying secret escape from Egypt.
4. I know men with mail-order brides. Despite this seeming different at first glance, it's another example of the imbalance of power inherent in cross-border relationships.

Why the indignant protest that you aren't going to shag him? What's the point, if not?

But if it was deemed respectful in his culture then he would accept that your father said no. Otherwise it just looks like he's putting on a bit of a show, right? Ingratiating himself without actually caring what the answer is

Asking someone else for permission to marry you is simply asking for a transfer in ownership. It's not respectful, it is just patriarchal 🤷‍♀️

If you want to have dinner, then absolutely go have dinner. Nothing at all wrong with that. But do it with your eyes open 😆
Make sure you are safe, as you would with any first 'date', but go forth knowing that this is a guy who has a lot of 'dinners' with women on holiday. I know you said you're not jumping ahead or anything but you might want to re read your first post.

Out of interest, do they visit their wives and children? Because I’m thinking of all the ways it would be possible for a non EU man, married to a non EU woman, to qualify for an EU passport and the only one I can think of would mean that it would be far too dangerous for them to return to their home unless there was a significant shift in Turkish politics or a regime change. So I’m presuming you were invited to visit a load of complete strangers, not knowing a single one of them, and being unable to speak Kurdish?

It’s a really bad idea. You’re far too carried away with thinking this could be a long term thing. I’ll let you into a secret. It won’t. Listen to your Dad.

Turkish delight, nice at the time but regret it immediately after

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me It hasn’t happened to you. Some bloke who works in a holiday resort has asked you out for dinner. That’s it. If you’re already thinking of it in terms of having ‘met’ someone then you definitely do not have the emotional wherewithal to be having a holiday romance.

And so much for him having the respect for your parents to ask their permission first. Your dad said no and this bloke completely ignored him. So what was the point of asking? Could it be an attempt to make some dozy Brits think that he’s not like all the other boys working in the resorts; he’s a nice boy who values family?

What do you seriously see as the best case scenario here? You’ve said you’re not interested in a casual bunk up, so that’s out the window. Do you think you’ll spend the rest of your holiday getting to know each other, and then stay in touch, growing closer, visiting each other and eventually falling in love? 🤦‍♀️ Come on, you’re 29 ffs. Surely you’ve got a bit more common sense about you than this?

Some of your comments, even your very first line, say otherwise.

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen.. but I just never thought it would happen to me!

I do get your concern but what about the millions of couples that met in similar circumstances and made it work?

Yeah, have had this happen several times. Met a nice guy in another country but cynical me never intended it to be anything other than a holiday romance with optional shag. Enjoyed it for what it was for the days I was there but never gave them the correct contact details. I was travelling in countries like Morocco, Syria, Iran and so on so I knew up front that nothing could come of it. I also knew there were plenty more fish in the sea for him so no harm done.

@LeavesOnTrees that's been my experience too. The racial stereotypes here make for uncomfortable reading.

Go if you want OP, just go believing it's a holiday romance to be enjoyed.

Fwiw I do know of someone who met a Turkish man on holiday there, and fell in love. They got married and had a family. They eventually divorced as it happens but the love and relationship was real. Not a tour guide though

What clock? As if some people think the cliff edge still is a thing! Duh!

Asking permission would be a huge turn off and shows his misogyny. He sees you as property and that is a real insult.

Quite. Too much racism on this post. I think we can all agree that most twenty something male British tour guides meeting countless young foreign women who will be a sea if not an ocean away within a week or two would be keen for a date/shag. Nothing to do with nationality really!

Clearly you can't as you're on here, appearing to be seeking validation.

He doesn't see you as an adult woman able to make her own decisions, evidenced by him approaching your parents for permission, one of whom gave a resounding no, and despite your dad saying no, he's disregarded that too.

Zero respect for you, and zero respect for your dad. What a catch!

Your bar seems low.

That was my thought too. The only person he should be asking permission from is you- the adult he wants to date.