Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

Steady on, girl. You can’t say right now that you’ve met the love of your life, even though it happened with some friends of yours. It hasn’t happened to you. Be reasonable; you’ve only just met him.
Seriously; if you are busy constructing an entire romance out of thin air and a pleasant manner, as you risk doing, you are going to be operating on only half the necessary brain power as you spend more time with him. That way suckers are created.

No matter how many examples of happy coupledom you know of which sprang from a holiday romance, there must be a hundreds more women out there now ruing the day they drifted oblivious and precipitate into such a marriage. Talk about repenting at leisure!
There’s a ton of scrupulous sussing out to be done, so tread carefully and keep your antennae on Maximum Alert.
Enjoy yourself, but it’s better to err on the side of skepticism than be fooled into a bit of a scam.

(I must sound xenophobic. What I am is mistrustful of men in certain circs, whether in Istanbul or deepest Devon)

This IS a red flag! Jesus Christ.

My DD has been seeing a Turkish guy for 3 years now. He was already over here. He’s lovely. And he’s a Muslim Kurd too, though secular. I would try and get a sense of what he believes in by treating him as an individual and listening to what he says when conversing with him (as with any man these days). You’ll soon see if he’s just saying what you want to hear or if he really does believe in what he’s saying. For example DD’s boyfriend will allude to journalists he follows on social media to illustrate his points.

Many Turkish people are European in outlook and there is a bit of a struggle between the secular and religious over there. Many secular people do want to leave because of that. DD’s boyfriend feels it keenly.

But even then, just because a man claims to be Western, it doesn’t mean anything anymore - both secular and religious men can be quite misogynistic. Whether British or Turkish, I would be taking things slow and watching him a lot. Don’t be afraid to test things by being firm with your preferences. My DD has the firm personality whereas her boyfriend is actually a bit of a people pleaser. In his family his mother and older sisters have strong personalities.

Nobody said anything about marriage I don't think?!?

Been in a similar situation, but got away fast. If I was you, I would run the hell away from him. He’s seems totally sleazy and already treating you like a possession, by asking your parents for their approval in marrying you, and yet he hardly knows you?? Please wise up. He’s looking for a passport and a meal ticket. Run girl, run away from him and don’t look back!

But I actually haven’t said that everyone is talking about this, have I? My comment is obviously aimed at the many who have (many directly, but read the thread, all those “you’re so naive!” comments are rooted in racism and bigotry - whether anyone admits it or not).

But regardless, I AM outraged by racism and think it’s totally appropriate to call out racism when I see it. You won’t shame me in to thinking otherwise.

@AlpacaMittens yes fair enough I was being over simplistic. My assumption was based on the limited info we have (he's flirting with a holiday maker and he's a young man - most likely interested in a shag. She's asking about visas - wants something more). Of course anything else could be true but the racism is crazy. I said above, I can't see how it's any different to a British twenty something yr old asking out eg an American woman who's on holiday!

He might be a total twat, he might want her money, he might be wanting just a little fling and nothing more, he might be the nicest man ever, there's no way of knowing based on just the fact he asked her out to dinner and that he's (apparently very hilariously, according to another poster) Kurdish. Literally that's the only info available. I don't use the word often but this thread has been disgusting.

What's so hilarious about being Kurdish?

Right!!

It's such a simple tale too. He wants a shag she wants a romance. She might get hurt but everyone's organs are going to remain intact.

I'm as cynical as they come, but the sudden escalation in this thread is bonkers. With the sole piece of information available being that a British woman has been invited to dinner by a (be strong everyone) non British man, this thread has escalated to visa/passport shopping, to trafficking, to sexual assault, to organ fucking harvesting.

ORGAN HARVESTING?!??? 😂😂😂

I had a fling with a Turkish guy when I was 18 and after I went home he remained very keen. He was too pushy and I'm not at all surprised to know that he now lives in the UK with his English wife. They seem happy enough.

It was common knowledge Turkish guys in the resorts wanted visas and had an endless stream of British women to shag in the meantime. So, personally, I just enjoyed the fling for what it was. If it progressed, how would you know if he really loved you or simply wanted the visa? Would be my concern.

If I were you i'd have a fling.

If she's going to have sex with him, she won't be sticking to public places unless she wants to get arrested!

With a different race comes a different culture and that is what makes it difficult, and potentially dangerous.

Guys like him are known as fuck dogs. They will screw anything.
Dont be so naive.
Keep away from him.

Your dad can see through him.
Enjoy your holiday!

Putting aside the very obvious immigration motivation, I’d be concerned about potential sexual assault and or organ harvesting.

The risks range from using you for a passport/chance out of Turkey to much much more sinister outcomes.

These men spot women like you a mile off. It’s been done to death, so I don’t understand why women keep falling for it?

My friends aunt married an Egyptian waiter after 2 holidays. Obviously it didn’t work out 😂

As a parent of a similar age daughter, I'd feel a little weird about her coming on holiday with her parents, then disappearing for a one-night stand. And I can't imagine her feeling too comfortable about it either. What she does on her independent, non-family holidays is entirely her business.

Just go and have dinner and have some fun you’re on holiday. You don’t need to think and plan long term . Just have your guard up and if he starts talking about marriage etc straight away run a mile!.. just have fun and that’s it xx

The racism on this thread is appalling

Well done to the people managing to caution pragmatism and a need to be grounded without being outright racist fucks

He asked your parents. Your dad said no. He's still willing to go ahead. So why ask permission?

I know someone who had a romance with a Turkish man, they had a long distance relationship for about 3 years and she eventually went to Turkey and married him. It's been about 20 years now and they are very happy.
I think they met in a bar when she was on holiday - he was the owner. She was in her late 20s when they met.

I'm team Dad. Sorry, @theoneortwo
I have experience with men in that part of the world. Tourists, women, are marks for sex. We're seen as sexually liberal. It can be a dangerous situation to get yourself into. Beware.

Her dad likely doesn't want to be worrying about her having a one night stand with a random bloke on a family holiday though..

And the fact she's talking about romance and long term is going to add to that concern. OP if you're expecting something long term then don't sleep with him, 99.999% you'll end up upset and feeling used. If he's working with tourists and has charmed you then there will logically be a long list of others he's charmed too.

This