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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:16

Ah so a “reverse” of sorts. Just so you can call people racist. Very odd.

Clarabell77 · 30/08/2025 08:14

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:15

I am definitely not going to be sleeping with him, that’s NOT at all on my agenda! 🤣

I am just torn as to if I should give him the chance and go for dinner. He even asked my mum and dad for their permission to take me - which is when my dad said no and mum said yes..

Well that would be enough to give me my answer - NO.

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:14

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 29/08/2025 21:20

I don't want to derail this thread but there's nothing charming about a guy asking your parents for permission to take you out

This! Straight no from me if this happened

Empress13 · 30/08/2025 08:13

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 29/08/2025 21:26

Have you never seen Shirley Valentine?

Lol was just going to say this ! OP even if you fell for him and came back to UK having a long distance relationship how on earth would you ever trust him with other women? Tour guides are masters in making people feel special and welcome. I’m sure you weren’t the first and won’t be the last! Nah throw this one back it won’t work.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:13

Probably time to come clean here.. ‼️

Im currently sitting having breakfast with this very man -my husband - the love of my life who I did in fact meet in these exact circumstances.

Daughter number 1 is asleep upstairs and baby 2 cooking away nicely!🤰

After meeting 3 years ago (I was 29) we made it work. We went for the dinner my dad said no to, had the most gorgeous week together and I flew back out 2 weeks after to spend another fortnight. We did long distance for a year.

For us, it was love at first sight and he has made me the happiest woman in the world. He works hard, got a degree and is now working in an accountancy firm. He provides for us, and I couldn’t wish for more.

He purchased our villa in Turkey and we live 1/2 the year in the sunshine and the other half in the UK.

We were talking through our early days last night and wanted to get the general consensus as to the thoughts of other people - and clearly the majority are just as we thought - categorising people that aren’t British into stereotypes and words of racism left right and center.

PS. My dad literally adores him - he’s like the son my dad never had. 👏🏼

So. Yes, we made this work despite the judgement we got from almost all of the people in our lives.

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.

I guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did.

I was called naive, stupid, a sl** even - all for falling in love with a man that calls a diferent country home.

He was accused of wanting a passport, my money..

A word of advice from me - go for the dinner, get to know them. You never know. It could be the most incredible journey you ever take 👍🏼

OP posts:
Winterwasp · 30/08/2025 08:10

"And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me."

Id say your kidneys are safe. However, the opening sentence of your post shows someone who is a bit naïve to this kind of situation. The asking your parents permission comes across a bit smarmy as well. You should have realised this at 29! The other posters on here advising you to enjoy a bit of a holiday fling and take it for what it is are probably a bit more streetwise than you and wouldn't fall for the bullshit, whereas respectfully,you seem like a bit more of a mark.

BadgesforBadgers · 30/08/2025 08:10

He's seen you from a mile off, just the kind of 'mark' these guys look for.

On holiday with parents = single and not too confident

He'll have seen you making eyes at him.

If you came accross to him as you have to us in this thread, he'll have you on toast.

Sounds like you still believe in fairytales and Prince charming, OP.

I'll see you in 'Take a Break' magazine in a year's time .

Wellifyouresurebetterbegryffindor · 30/08/2025 08:09

The levels of meanness on this thread are astounding. Some people are coming across as jealous little girls. Just give the OP advice no need to insult her.

OP if it was me I would not do it. I do know two people who have been in a similar situation and got married. They both live in Turkey now and not the UK.

Blueberry911 · 30/08/2025 08:08

Girl, have you never read Take A Break or the Sun or Daily Mail? 🍿

Ivy888 · 30/08/2025 08:08

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:15

I am definitely not going to be sleeping with him, that’s NOT at all on my agenda! 🤣

I am just torn as to if I should give him the chance and go for dinner. He even asked my mum and dad for their permission to take me - which is when my dad said no and mum said yes..

Well him asking your parents for permission to take you on a date would be a massive red flag for me personally. I don’t want to be with a guy who’s into old-fashioned nonsense.

What exactly do you want if you’re not interested in shagging him? That is probably what he expects. You will not be the first tourist he’s asked out. I don’t think he’s going to the trouble of taking you out to a restaurant just to have a nice chat. He knows you’re there on holiday and will be gone in a few days. So of course he’s hoping for a shag (or looking for a relationship to be able to move abroad).

lemonraspberry · 30/08/2025 08:06

Enjoy the moment with him but what happens in Turkey stays in Turkey. Don't bring him home with you.

Bear in mind you are at what I call the 'job interview' stage. He will show you his best side, no flaws, all good. But I do expect he has seen you coming (bearing in mind his job), you have probably told him you have just left a long term relationship and right now it is a bit like a shark circling its prey, just waiting for the moment.

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:06

@theoneortwo have you ever seen Shirley valentine? Stream it.

You're just out of a marriage, stop fantasising about being swept off your feet. Have fun but keep a sensible head.

SleepWalkingtoSeville · 30/08/2025 08:05

I’d honestly be amazed if anyone was fishing for a passport for this bin fire of a country.

itsgettingweird · 30/08/2025 08:04

Well he isn’t going to fly the flags now is he?

Go for dinner, leave Turkey and lose
contact.

Don’t be swayed by the charm he’ll show every holiday maker - from someone who worked holiday resorts for years!

Jackiepumpkinhead · 30/08/2025 08:04

You sound like a naive 18 year old 🙄

Euphesia · 30/08/2025 08:02

Summer lovin', had me a blast ... 🎶🎵

At best this'd be a summer fling.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:02

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:17

I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen.. but I just never thought it would happen to me!

I guess there is the risk of him wanting a visa / passport etc but again having spoken to my friends about their journeys with their partners, I know the ins and outs of the process and it is NOT at all easy. And not something I’d be willing to do!

It more than likely won’t. Don’t be buying a wedding dress, just have a nice meal.

Duechristmas · 30/08/2025 08:00

It's a fling. Enjoy it if you wish but it's no more than a fling, and for goodness sake use protection!

Sugargliderwombat · 30/08/2025 08:00

Iamfree · 29/08/2025 21:14

He wants a British passport or a shag, or if it continues he will turn into a religious mysoginistic pig. Please let us know in the next few months

Wow not sure which part of this js the most racist?

Blinky21 · 30/08/2025 07:58

A lot of cynicism on here, feels a bit judgemental because he is Turkish. There's no harm in going for dinner as long as you are sensible and safe

LBFseBrom · 30/08/2025 07:57

Op, no harm in going out to dinner. Just be careful. Yes some people do meet their life partners when on holiday abroad but tour guides and the like are famous for picking up vulnerable girls and woman; it's a perk of the job.

The internet is awash with stories of Kurdish men targeting British girls with the long term hope of getting a visa, please don't ignore warnings but do treat him as an individual. Kurds have historically had a terrible struggle and are not recognised as a nation; they are mostly Sunni Muslim.

He may be a decent chap, who knows. It doesn't matter where he comes from, it's his character that is important and you aren't going to know about that in five minutes.

Have fun but keep it light.

Vic271 · 30/08/2025 07:56

Oh god people are getting crazy here - organ harvesting? Have these people been to Turkey? I'd be amazed if they've ever even left the country!

OP go for dinner, I'm sure it will be lovely and you will be treated with huge respect. Of course don't think this is someone to marry and have a family with, just go and have a nice time. There's every chance he does this sort of thing frequently but so do all the men on Tinder! Just go and have a nice night, I'm sure you'll learn loads of interesting things about his culture and will have some great food. It doesn't have to be so deep.

I've travelled solo all over the world and say just keep it public and only do things you're comfortable with. Don't be thinking this could be the love of your life, just have a fun night.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 30/08/2025 07:54

Its only a dinner, go for it, have fun on your terms.
Enjoy 😉

Imbusytodaysorry · 30/08/2025 07:52

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:21

I do get your concern but what about the millions of couples that met in similar circumstances and made it work?

As I said, I’m not at all into him like that at the moment having only met the guy a few days ago (!!) but just curious.

Show quote history

@theoneortwo you sound like just the type of person to fall to these scammers .
You may be withering over a date . If he wants a visa to uk he will make it work .
Before you know it he will be giving you the “I love you” and all the sweet talk . You will be saying “oh he loves me” We are getting married .
These guys are experts at this .

Holiday fling possibly (although I’d not when I’d be questioning if he is really attracted to me or just in it for a visa)
Anything else no

Purplethingymebobs · 30/08/2025 07:48

SadTimesInFife · 30/08/2025 02:15

With a different race comes a different culture and that is what makes it difficult, and potentially dangerous.

Guys like him are known as fuck dogs. They will screw anything.
Dont be so naive.
Keep away from him.

Your dad can see through him.
Enjoy your holiday!

Different race? Turks are Caucasian same as the English.

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