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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:27

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:27

Ah. And do you still have your liver?

Show quote history

I am pleased to confirm I do!

OP posts:
PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:27

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:23

See my recent update.

Show quote history

Ah. And do you still have your liver?

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:25

Oh God. A 'gotcha' type thread. The post I quoted sounded odd -hence my own post.. That's as far as I got.

Give over OP. You sounded a bit unhinged in your early posts, like you thought marriage and babies were happening when you'd just met him. 🤯.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:24

What a super intelligent, devious plot. Lol.

WeAreExperiencingHigherNumberOfCallsThanUsual · 30/08/2025 08:24

You made yourself sound like proper naive and vulnerable or dummy here so why would you be surprised people thought you were being romance scammed or something?

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.
It's been 3 yeara, not 30. Of course nothing has changed.... Stereotypes often have a base in true. Not mumsnetters fauly that romance holiday acams etc are so common.

Pearl69 · 30/08/2025 08:24

Listen to your Dad …..

Clawdy · 30/08/2025 08:23

Interesting post! Obviously not everyone has read OP's update!

butterpuffed · 30/08/2025 08:23

Good for you, OP. There are so many bitter PPs in here who try to persuade women to leave/not go ahead with men. OPs who are vulnerable often take the bait unfortunately .

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:23

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP, kindly, are you a bit vulnerable?

See my recent update.

OP posts:
User372849 · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP- my husband is Persian, I am British. We still adore each other after 20 years, have three lovely children and live in the UK. Of course it can work. My husband is not British so I am not one to say it cant ever work out.

However, that does not mean that people's advice to be careful was wrong. Cultural differences are important in a marriage and can have a huge effect on how your marriage works out.

I am glad that you are both happy but there are equally as many marriages that have started as yours did and ended very, very badly so I dont think people advising caution were wrong and I think its a little naive to suggest otherwise.

PigletSanders · 30/08/2025 08:23

OP, kindly, are you a bit vulnerable?

Digdongdoo · 30/08/2025 08:23

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:13

Probably time to come clean here.. ‼️

Im currently sitting having breakfast with this very man -my husband - the love of my life who I did in fact meet in these exact circumstances.

Daughter number 1 is asleep upstairs and baby 2 cooking away nicely!🤰

After meeting 3 years ago (I was 29) we made it work. We went for the dinner my dad said no to, had the most gorgeous week together and I flew back out 2 weeks after to spend another fortnight. We did long distance for a year.

For us, it was love at first sight and he has made me the happiest woman in the world. He works hard, got a degree and is now working in an accountancy firm. He provides for us, and I couldn’t wish for more.

He purchased our villa in Turkey and we live 1/2 the year in the sunshine and the other half in the UK.

We were talking through our early days last night and wanted to get the general consensus as to the thoughts of other people - and clearly the majority are just as we thought - categorising people that aren’t British into stereotypes and words of racism left right and center.

PS. My dad literally adores him - he’s like the son my dad never had. 👏🏼

So. Yes, we made this work despite the judgement we got from almost all of the people in our lives.

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.

I guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did.

I was called naive, stupid, a sl** even - all for falling in love with a man that calls a diferent country home.

He was accused of wanting a passport, my money..

A word of advice from me - go for the dinner, get to know them. You never know. It could be the most incredible journey you ever take 👍🏼

OP I still say tread carefully. That's an awful lot very quickly with a man from a very different culture. I'm not sure you're at the point of lecturing yet.
I do agree that this thread has been horrid though.

DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2025 08:23

That's a lovely story but it has only been 3 years. If it had been 30 then I'd agree with you.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:23

@BadgesforBadgers “I'll see you in 'Take a Break' magazine in a year's time”.

😁 Looks like you were right there considering the ‘update’.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:22

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:20

guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did

I'm actually kind of offended tbh.
My post was about the realities of holidays romances and being careful about rushing into another relationship so soon after a divorce...Nothing at all about racism.

Totally unnecessary post. You only have to look around you to see the attitudes towards people who aren't white - especially those from the middle east - in the UK right now.

It's lovely your holiday romance turned into such a beautiful marriage and I'm happy for you, but kindly don't write the rest of us off as narrow minded racists.

Edited

I said the majority - not all.

OP posts:
TammyJones · 30/08/2025 08:22

Well that was completely pointless- and the total exception to the rule …. Glad it worked out for you… but it’s not everyone story

Charlize43 · 30/08/2025 08:21

You don't sound very Worldly. I guess you've never travelled to Morocco where you can have a 'boyfriend' on every street corner and at every restaurant.

For some countries (Turkey included), western women (I'm French, so I've lived with this stereotype abroad all my life, thanks Brigitte!) are view upon as loose and promiscuous - and therefore a magnet to men looking for sex and they'll have no qualms telling you that for them, 'it was love on first sight' and they want to take care of you for the rest of your life... you are a princess, blah, blah, blah.'

Economic differences will also mean that you'll be picking up the tab most of the time that 'Yusuf' asks you out for dinner as he'll have a sick mother/sister/father at home and all his money goes on huge hospital bills.

If you can't see it for what it is, listen to your father, as you may get emotionally hurt.

Winterwasp · 30/08/2025 08:20

Good for you OP. And good for finding the time in your Disney/Mills&Boon life to come up with this little experiment!

AmoozzBoosh · 30/08/2025 08:20

guess this was just a little post to see if people really did view us and our situation the way we suspected they did

I'm actually kind of offended tbh.
My post was about the realities of holidays romances and being careful about rushing into another relationship so soon after a divorce...Nothing at all about racism.

Totally unnecessary post. You only have to look around you to see the attitudes towards people who aren't white - especially those from the middle east - in the UK right now.

It's lovely your holiday romance turned into such a beautiful marriage and I'm happy for you, but kindly don't write the rest of us off as narrow minded racists.

applepieandapplepie · 30/08/2025 08:20

Didn’t this happen to Deidre on Coronation street in the 90s? 🫣

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:20

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:17

I’ve got friends that have met the love of their lived abroad, married with children and lovely happy lives - so I know it CAN happen.. but I just never thought it would happen to me!

I guess there is the risk of him wanting a visa / passport etc but again having spoken to my friends about their journeys with their partners, I know the ins and outs of the process and it is NOT at all easy. And not something I’d be willing to do!

But he's only asked you to dinner?

Appalonia · 30/08/2025 08:18

Haha very sneaky OP! Can't wait to see the reactions of all the naysayers on this thread! Good for you😁

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:17

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:16

Ah so a “reverse” of sorts. Just so you can call people racist. Very odd.

Not at all. I just wanted to get the general consensus of what people’s thoughts are in this day and age.

Sadly the majority are exactly what we faced 3 years ago.

I feel for anybody going through the same kind distance / multi cultural love as it’s not for the faint of heart.

OP posts:
cryingandshaking · 30/08/2025 08:17

This thread is absolutely bonkers and highly entertaining on a boring Sunday morning 😁
OP go and enjoy a holiday romance if you want. Just don’t get carried away with thoughts of marriage and children! What I wouldn’t give to me in my 20’s again and embarking on a delicious holiday fling rather that than a 46 year old “nanna”

Empress13 · 30/08/2025 08:17

LochKatrine · 29/08/2025 21:30

It's because he thinks you can't give consent.
Anyway, no harm in a meal, have fun if you want to. Just be wary.

Show quote history

No it’s because he’s trying to look good in front of your parents like look at me being a true gentleman asking your permission first! How old is he?

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