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Original poster

Currently in Turkey, met a guy…

838 replies

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:11

And I know they say ‘people come along when you least expect it’ but I never ever thought this would happen to me.

im 29, British, recently I came out of a long term relationship and I am currently on holiday with my family.

I’ve met a lovely Turkish man whilst here. Completely unexpectedly, he was working on one of the tours we went on 4 days ago.

I know it sounds silly and cliche, but as soon as I saw him it’s like I just knew I needed to get to know him. We didn’t speak much on the trip itself since he was obviously busy working - but after when he was showing us the photos he’d taken, we swapped numbers and have been chatting ever since.

He has asked to take me for dinner tomorrow evening (locally in the resort town we are staying in) my mum is saying go for it, but my dad seems to have reservations and is telling me not to be so stupid and naive..

This man hasn’t shown me any red flags or given me reason to distrust him.

Im kind of in the mindset that I’m here on holiday, it’s probably not going to progress.. so let’s see what happens?

has anybody else ever been in this situation, meeting a guy abroad / getting to know somebody from a different country?

I know there are huge complex loopholes and issues IF we did get to know each other more and develop a relationship - due to distance etc.

would love to know thoughts please, as I’m really in two minds.

Thank you ☺️

OP posts:
VeryStressedMum · 30/08/2025 08:39

Ok so read the update.
I am glad it’s worked out for you he sounds lovely.
People will say see how it’s going 20 years later bet it’s all gone to shit but no one knows how any man or marriage will turn out whether he’s from the other side of the world or your next door neighbour.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/08/2025 08:39

theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:34

Would you like photographs? Marriage certificate?

Show quote history

I wouldn't believe whatever you posted as 'proof'.

OhNoNotSusan · 30/08/2025 08:39

interesting, my aunt was in europe just after ww2 and fell in love with someone from Germany, much to her father's fear.
they were married for many many years.

LeavesOnTrees · 30/08/2025 08:39

WilfredsPies · 30/08/2025 00:29

Out of interest, do they visit their wives and children? Because I’m thinking of all the ways it would be possible for a non EU man, married to a non EU woman, to qualify for an EU passport and the only one I can think of would mean that it would be far too dangerous for them to return to their home unless there was a significant shift in Turkish politics or a regime change. So I’m presuming you were invited to visit a load of complete strangers, not knowing a single one of them, and being unable to speak Kurdish?

Show quote history

Their wives and children are all in the EU, in France and Germany - I've gone around for tea and met them.
It was their parents who came over in the 90s when they were children / teenagers (I think there was political unrest then ? Not sure, maybe someone else will know).

Their children now were all born in the EU and go to local schools.
They go back fairly regularly to visit family in Turkey. I know they have some farming land (almond or pistachio trees mainly, I think).

Unemployment is high, and job opportunities are low over there. There was also the massive earthquake, but their region wasn't directly affected.

I should ask them more in fact, next time I see them.

Winterwasp · 30/08/2025 08:38

LochKatrine · 30/08/2025 08:36

So. You met 3 years ago, were long distance for a year, then he came to the UK.
In the 2 years since he arrived, you got married, he got a degree,works for an accountancy firm and you have a one year old child and another on the way? He did well for a Kurdish Turkish man to get a degree in the UK and a good job so quickly.
Good work!

Not forgetting the six months of the year they now live in the sun. Excellent work!

Cookingupmyfirstbornson · 30/08/2025 08:37

Have you seen 90 day finance op? It may have worked for you but it doesn't for a LOT of people.

Notashamed13 · 30/08/2025 08:37

I think you should do a AMA

Crategate · 30/08/2025 08:36

Ooh then can you confirm you WERE ovulating?

Also how do you manage schooling living across two countries?

LochKatrine · 30/08/2025 08:36

So. You met 3 years ago, were long distance for a year, then he came to the UK.
In the 2 years since he arrived, you got married, he got a degree,works for an accountancy firm and you have a one year old child and another on the way? He did well for a Kurdish Turkish man to get a degree in the UK and a good job so quickly.
Good work!

onlymethen · 30/08/2025 08:35

Love a love story. So glad you are both happy and have your little family.

Duechristmas · 30/08/2025 08:35

DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2025 08:23

That's a lovely story but it has only been 3 years. If it had been 30 then I'd agree with you.

I've been with mine for 30 years. He is from another country but we met in the UK when he was on a student visa. We married relatively quickly and people who didn't know us judged us. People who knew us though knew it was right for us.
I agree it was way too easy to get citizenship 23 years ago when my DH went for his, but I also feel it's prohibitively hard now.

Charlize43 · 30/08/2025 08:34

Just seen your update! But if I'd married every guy who professed undying love for me in Thailand, Mexico, Turkey, Morocco, Algiers, etc I'd be on metropole as an international super bigamist!

I'm glad it worked out for you though. I still think women should view these romances with caution as there are plenty who are ripped off either emotionally, economically, or for the sake of gaining a passport.

Not all men (and women) are genuine.

ObtuseMoose · 30/08/2025 08:34

Don't get complacent OP, there's still time for him to whip your liver out!

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:34

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/08/2025 08:33

Yeah, right

Would you like photographs? Marriage certificate?

OP posts:
GeorgeMichaelsCat · 30/08/2025 08:33

Yeah, right

VeryStressedMum · 30/08/2025 08:33

theoneortwo · 29/08/2025 21:28

To be honest I hadn’t perceived him asking my parents their permission in negative light - I didn’t think of it that way but I do understand what you are all saying. Perhaps it’s a sign of deeper rooted control?

I always think men who ask parents permission to take their daughter on a date do that because they think it makes them look chivalrous and respectful when they are anything but

Tooshytoshine · 30/08/2025 08:32

My mate married a Turkish man she met on holiday. They have now been married 15 years and have 2 kids (11 and 13). He is a good dad and husband - handsome, hardworking, treats her like a princess and tells women who flirt with him to respect his wife.

There are good men everywhere.

Pearl69 · 30/08/2025 08:32

lol. Glad it worked out for you OP.

TammyJones · 30/08/2025 08:31

DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2025 08:23

That's a lovely story but it has only been 3 years. If it had been 30 then I'd agree with you.

I was thinking this.
Been with my dh 30 years.
The first 10 years were amazing.
I think it was a bit mean to post like this.
Were you trying to prove a point?
Get back at all the naysayer from back in the day?
You’re happy - great.
There has been some cracking advise from people on here, and you got very defensive, over an argument, that in affect had been won - silly and pointless.

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:29

WeAreExperiencingHigherNumberOfCallsThanUsual · 30/08/2025 08:24

You made yourself sound like proper naive and vulnerable or dummy here so why would you be surprised people thought you were being romance scammed or something?

And it saddens me to see that those judgements and stereotypes are still floating around today.
It's been 3 yeara, not 30. Of course nothing has changed.... Stereotypes often have a base in true. Not mumsnetters fauly that romance holiday acams etc are so common.

Edited

We’re all supposed to be impressed by the ingenuity.

Original poster
theoneortwo · 30/08/2025 08:29

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:28

And nothing to do with how you met or where you are from but! Marriage and two kids in three years. That’s a lot in a short time.

I said in my comment that it was exactly as I’ve written this post.

I was holidaying with my parents, had come out of a nasty marriage and didn’t expect to meet anybody.

OP posts:
cryingandshaking · 30/08/2025 08:29

Haha good for you OP 😂.

Glad it worked out for you, and hopefully some of the posters who were frothing at the mouth will calm down now. FWIW I have 3 clients who married men they met on holiday, all in Turkey. 2 have been married for over 10 years and are very happy. 1 also remains married but has had a lot of ups and downs with him cheating….. just like many who have married men from here funnily enough!

fknEndlessCycle · 30/08/2025 08:28

Lots of negativity here, but I’d say just go for it. Even if it ends up being nothing, you could have a lovely dinner, what do you have to lose? I had a brief thing with someone I met abroad, but I proved too realist to try and pursue it beyond that. We were a bit older than you which affected whether I wanted to take all the risks involved. I think he and I could have ended up together if we’d been in the same place / at least in two places that were easier to visit (he could barely even get a visa to visit the U.K. sadly)

PiggingBastardPigs · 30/08/2025 08:28

Crucible · 30/08/2025 08:25

Oh God. A 'gotcha' type thread. The post I quoted sounded odd -hence my own post.. That's as far as I got.

Give over OP. You sounded a bit unhinged in your early posts, like you thought marriage and babies were happening when you'd just met him. 🤯.

Right. Attention seeking under the guise of catching people out. 0/10.

legsekeven · 30/08/2025 08:28

And nothing to do with how you met or where you are from but! Marriage and two kids in three years. That’s a lot in a short time.

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